Saturday, October 3, 2009

Don't Perpetuate the Problem of Domestic Violence

It's 11pm on Friday night. You call him back to your house because you want to get and leave early Saturday morning. Only, what happens next you never expected. You never thought you'd be that girl.

Petrea wanted to go to Fairbanks for the weekend. It was Scott's birthday weekend. Even though they were going through a divorce (an living in separate towns), they had a son together and she wanted to stay friends. He showed up at her place around 11pm. He tried to have sex with her and she said no. She said no again, again, and again. He got mad and slammed his head into the wall three times. She got mad and told him to leave. She said she would pay for his cab ride back to the bar where his friends were, that he just had to leave.

Their marriage was never perfect. Whose is? They fought, but it gradually took on a more violent tone. He started to punch holes in walls and through stuff. Then he started to grab her, or push her, or take her phone. One day he held her down, pushed her on the ground, hit her, threw her phone so she couldn't call the police. All in front of their son who wasn't even one. She went to the police later and filed a report. They went and arrested him. He sat in jail for a day, then got out. When his work found out about it, a female Sgt. actually told her 'you should have called me not the police.' EXCUSE ME?!?!?! Since when does the military think domestic violence is ok?? Don't perpetuate the problem! There should be a zero tolerance policy! (and I can say with some certainty that in most shops, there is) The First Shirt who found about it didn't do anything about it either. Since he got away with it, nothing happened. On the civil end, the charges went no where. It was his first documented offense and they lowered it to assault and then basically let it go. (he told her that he would get kicked out of the military and wouldn't be able to pay any child support, so she dropped it and let it go)

The pattern was evident and she finally got up the courage to leave him. She went back to Canada for a few months so they could try to work things out and he could focus on trying harder. While she was gone, he cheated on her. That was the last straw for her (THAT?!?! REALLY?? He beat her and that was ok, but cheating was the end.... I'll never understand some people fully).

When she came back to the US in April of '09 she moved out. She stayed with me for a bit until she was on her feet. She got a god job and her own place. Even when she was staying with, the violence issues were evident. He would call her up and be fine one minute, then snap and freak out the next. He would come over to my house on occasion, but never when I was there. One day I came home to find his truck in my drive. I called Petrea and they came running out of the house. He hopped in his truck and took off. I asked her what was going on and she said he had pinned her against the wall and was screaming at her when I came home (now I know why he left so fast, I'm a lot bigger than he is). From then on, I had a "No Scott" rule. He wasn't allowed on my property, period. If I caught him there, she was out. I did this for her own good. If he was assaulting her in MY house, and I happened to come home..... there would have been hell to pay. And I just don't want that stuff in my house. It was for her own good, and he hadn't assaulted her since.

(fast forward to last night) After telling him to leave, he grabbed her and threw her down on her bed. He climbed on top of her and began to choke her. is hands were cutting off her air supply. She was afraid for her life. She looked over and saw their son sleeping in his pack-n-play next to her bed. She thought 'you're going to kill me right here in front of my son, you fucking ass hole.' She began to fight back and he let go. She called up a friend (not sure why) and he told her to call the police (she didn't). Scott grew even more angry, but finally left. Petrea locked the door and laid there afraid he would come back. He stayed outside her building and kept calling her, begging her to let him back in.

I called Petrea around 8:30 in the morning to see what she was up to and ask if she had talked to a mutual friend of ours. She said she had, but she hadn't seen him (I was worried about him since I hadn't heard from him and just felt something was wrong.... I right something was wrong, but wrong friend....). She said she had a long night and that Scott had come over drunk and beat the shit out of her. I lost it. I flew off the handle. I said NO MORE!!! I asked her who he worked for, she didn't know. I called up Deb whose husband went into work to find out who he worked for and who his first shirt is (and his phone number!). I told her as soon as she wakes up fully, she is to go down to the PD and file a report and get a restraining order. As soon as she does that she is to take it to the base police and file a report there and get the RO on paper there. She is then to call up his First Shirt. And I'll tell you this, the First Sgt WILL do something about it this time. If he doesn't a call is going to be made to the base commander. EVERY ONE in the military has a boss, and something will be done about Mr. Scott (and I should clarify, this is NOT my neighbor Scott.... my neighbor Scott is the one who went and got the phone number for me). He keeps on doing it because he gets away with it. He does it because he can. And Petrea, she's the perfect victim. Quiet, small, timid. Doesn't want to get any one in trouble. But, Petrea has me........... I am NOT a good victim. I am bigger and can hurt most people that try to hurt me. I'm loud and will make sure you pay the piper. Sometimes, the quiet ones need friends that aren't.