it's time to say goodbye

My DH leaves in just 48 hours. It will be here before I'm ready for it.

My friend 'Ash' (who is about to go through the EXACT same thing as she just had a baby also, so you'll hear about her often, I thank God I found her) pointed out just how hard it is to go through the goodbyes. The days leading up to it are the worst because you feel that sense of dread, that pit in your stomach, and you want to stay awake to keep the next day from coming. Then when you say goodbye, you want to rush to get it over with because it is so hard. The tears are flowing, you feel like you're going to throw up. Then when it *is* over with, you want it back so badly. You'd give anything to have those last hugs back. To smell them one more time, to feel their skin one last time.

The few days after they leave are the worst. You wake up that first morning and realize you're all alone. That you can't just pick up your phone and call them to say you're having a hard day or you love them. You know that your 'hard' day with kids is nothing compared to their hard days with the bombs, attacks, and gun shots. You have to find a new routine, a new path to take. The kids keep you busy and distracted, but your husband is NEVER far from your mind. You find your self daydreaming about what they're doing. Randomly crying as you grieve for them.

Time for our last Sunday breakfast together (makes me want to cry just thinking about it). As I said at the start, you never know what's going to happen in the life of a military wife (or her friends) and things are ever changing (in case you haven't noticed). Don't ever believe anything the media tells you about the military, it's not true any way.