I'm Pregnant!! I'm going to Korea......

James and I got back from Texas in March of 2005. In May of 2005, I flew to Wisconsin to plan our reception that was to be later in the fall. We'd decided while he was gone that we really wanted to be together and stay married. So we told our families (I'd actually told mine right away, he hadn't told his) and my parent's planned a gorgeous reception for us.

I got home the first week in June. The first week in July, we found out we were pregnant!!

I was feeling REALLLY sick. I took an HPT and the line was faint, but there, but kind of not. James said 'what does it say'. I said 'I think it says you're going to be a daddy.'

I called the base and the told me to come in for a blood test, so I did. The nurse called me the next day and said, 'Congratulations. You're VERY pregnant.' I didn't know what that meant, nor did I care. I just cried and cried because I was going to be a mommy!!

We went to the doc. at 7 weeks pg. and got an ultrasound..... where we were told it was twins!! GAH! YAY! and oh no!! James got so pale I thought he was going to pass out. We were told one baby was measuring very small and looked very sick. We couldn't get a heartbeat, but were told it was may just be to early or it may be dieing. Then it was 'will both babies die,' 'what will happen to the sick baby if it does die'?? The doc. had lots of answers, but it was def. a wait and see kind of thing.

We came back at 12 weeks for another u/s. There was only one baby. I was sad for the baby that had passed away, but was overjoyed that I still had one healthy baby.

We found out around 20 weeks it was a girl!!

When I was about 7 months pg. James came home and said "sit down." (I have since learned a conversation is only going to go down hill VERY fast from there) J said he was going to be going to Korea for one year, in April of 2006. I was due in March of 2006.

Our gorgeous daughter was born in February of 2006. I ended up with pregnancy induced hypertension. I had to go in twice weekly for non-stress tests (sit in a room, quiet, hooked up to monitors) and a weekly ultrasound. I went in for my stress test and Kayla failed it. Her hear rate wasn't responsive at all. My blood preasure was through the roof. While the doc. is telling me to go to the hospital I mention that I think my water broke. It had. So across the street I go for an emergency c-section.

Just a few months later, James was on his way to Korea. I moved back to WI to be with my family. My mom was battling breast cancer for the second time and had to have a double mastectomy.

I had to help my sick mother, be a mommy to a baby, and try to be a good wife from thousands of miles away. It's a very large role to play. I wonder what it's like to have a 'normal' life....... but for me, I guess this is normal.

Kayla and I had MANY adventures on our own. It was a lot of fun. Other things, not so fun. I had my tonsils out just before J came home and it almost killed me (bleeding issues). J got to come home for a 'mid tour' in October and it was wonderful. We decided we'd start trying for baby #2 while he was home!! Having to say good bye again was REALLY REALLY hard, I wouldn't wish that one any one. He was gone for 6 months, home for 3 weeks, and then we had to say goodbye for another 6 months. It was horrible.

Our marriage saw it's far share of issues while he was gone, but I guess I'll save that for another post.

Honey, I'm deploying to Iraq

James and I had been dating for oh, I don't know.... a month! He comes home and says 'Honey, I'm deploying to Iraq.' I knew before agreeing to move in with him he would be deploying at some point. We just didn't realize it would be so soon. He had just gotten home from a 9 month tour in May of 2004, it was only November.

In December we find out it's going to be in January of 2005. We decide to get married before he leaves. More so that if anything happened to him I'd be made aware of it, I could pay his bills while he was over there, I'd have insurance, ect. Our plan was to get married, not tell any one, and just see how it went when he got back.

On December 21st, 2004 we got married. The first week in January, James left for Iraq. He was to do 2 months of training in Texas and then 9 months over in Iraq.

Soon after he left, I discovered I was pg!! I later miscarried that baby, while he was still in Texas.

I cried every single night that he was gone. I went out with friend every day and still, I cried. It just never got easier. And he wasn't even over seas yet!! He was still in the states! How was I going to get through 9 months of him getting shot at??

Right before they were supposed to leave they were told they'd get one weekend of 'leave.' I asked another girlfriend from the shop if she wanted to drive out to TX with me and visit the guys. She cried and said yes!! YAY!!

Soon after, we were on our way to TX. What an adventure that was. We stopped at gas station casinos on the way out there (they have casinos in gas stations down south!! Go figure!). It was awesome! The guys got leave and it was wonderful to see them. It had been 8 weeks since we'd seen them.

We were set to leave on that Monday I believe. We found out over that weekend that the guys were getting the following weekend off too!! We both called our jobs and said we had to stay longer to see our men one last time. We spent the week shopping and site seeing. We went to the Alamo, the River walk, and all kinds of neat things. I really love San Antonio and it will always hold a special part in my heart. I miss Texas.

On Weds. I get a call from James. A (the girl I was with) and I were out to dinner so I missed the call. The voicemail said 'I'm on my way to the hospital, meet me there'. That was it. Nothing more. I FREAKED OUT!! We were at a hotel just outside the base there in San An. I went over to the hospital ER expecting the worse.

When I got there, he wasn't there. I was able to fill out all the paper work for him and get him checked in.... kind of. I still didn't know what was wrong with him! They were doing training, for all I knew, he'd been shot or stabbed! A few minutes later he was wheeled in on a wheelchair. They thought he broke his foot.

Turns out he tore a bunch of ligaments (or something) in his ankle/foot. So, they wrap him up, send him back to camp, and tell him to come in on Friday.

I go in with him to the hospital. The doc. finds out he's at 'camp' getting ready to deploy. He looks at his foot and says 'You can't deploy. There's no way you can carry your bag or run or anything else.' If I could give that man a hug to this day, I would.

James was going to get to come home with me!! We left that Saturday for GA. It was bittersweet though. My friend's man was still deploying. He was still about to leave. He was going to miss the birth of his daughter. She was going to be alone with her baby for a while before he got home. It broke my heart to watch her suffer, yet inside I was so over joyed that I got to spend the next year with my husband.

It's incredibly hard to watch other wives suffer a pain you know all to well. To go through life's ups and downs all alone...... knowing they miss you as much as you miss them. Military wives share a very special kind of bond, and understanding that only a military wife has.