Thursday, February 12, 2009

Going Back to Iraq, Again

J called me at 3:30pm yesterday. He said 'they want me to go to Iraq. I leave in 3 weeks'

J went to Iraq in 2003. He went again in 2005. He went to Korea in 2006. Now he can add another Iraq ''notch'' for 2009.

A guy that was supposed to go on the deployment is being kicked out of the military for being a fat lazy a$$. He failed his fitness test FOUR times (so for like a year he couldn't pass). Because 'fatty' is being kicked out of the military, they HAD to fill his spot. It was either J or another guy who JUST got up here like 3 weeks ago. It wouldn't be fair for that other guy to go, so J said he'd go.

The cons:
He'll be away from his family
He'll miss seeing his new born son grow (just like he missed K)
He'll be shot at and could get killed (he could also crash his car any day and be killed here I suppose)
I wont get any sex for 8 months
He'll be away from his family
He'll be away from his family

The Pros:
It helps some one else out
We'll make a LITTLE extra money
This *may* help him get the points he needs to get promoted next year
He wont be gone for 12 months!
I get to go home and see my family
I wont be going through it alone (I love you Ness!)

The irony in this, he left at the exact same point in K's life. He left when she was 2.5 months old. He's going to be leaving when B is 2.5 months old. The good new is, he'll be back for B's first birthday and Christmas!! YAY!

He leaves in just a few weeks (on the 5th of March). In May I'm going to head to the midwest with the kiddos (what an adventure that will be!!). He'd going to try to get out processed by the end of the week, and then take 10 days off to be with us.

As it goes in an active duty military wife's life, things are ever changing. Nothing is set in stone, until it's underway it seems. I know the kids and I will have lots of our own adventures, while J will have lots of his own.

He shouldn't have to go to Russia now in Dec., so that's good. We also wont have to extend out our time here in Alaska!! YAY!!

My good friend 'Ness' (you'll hear about her a lot) back in WI, is going to be on almost the EXACT same timeline as us. Her DH (dear hubby) is heading to TX now for training, and then will be going over seas the same time as my DH. It would be nice if our husbands could hook up with each other while over there, but the sandbox is a BIG place. Ness and her 2 gorgeous daughters (we've decided B is going to marry her youngest, A) are going to hopeful come up here towards the end of July/Aug.

So much weighs heavily on a wife's mind when their husbands are deployed. Are they ok, what are they doing, who are they with, what have the seen, will they be ok when the get back?? The burning question on lots of minds, 'is he cheating?' That ladies and gentle men will be touched on often, as it comes up often. Men/women in the military are no more likely to cheat on their spouses than men/women who stay at home every day. I've seen families ripped apart, hide it, drag through it, and get over it. I've seen wives back home cheat and know of men over there that cheat. But I'll dive into that later.

*women over there cheat too (obviously) and men back home cheat too, I'm just phrasing it as it applies to me and most of my friends, as wives at home*

Friday, February 6, 2009

I want to be able to hold him........ but he's a world away

I belong to a fertility blog group on a different web page. That group is for military spouses. I think that we've all been through deployments and tried to get pg. before a deployment. There seems to be a rather high amount of husbands currently gone.

One spouse today, "C" says:
"Yeah 2 more months, I can't wait!!! I was sad today though, it just feels like it has been forever! I guess it was because I could see him on the web cam and I just wanted to be able to touch him because he seemed so close. The reality is that he is a world away and it sucks. I'm OK with it most of the time but today was hard."

Her husband is due back in 'just' 2 more months. The end of a deployment can't go fast enough. It always seems to drag on and go so slow. It reminded me of how it feels on those days. I hate, hate, hate, HATE that!! It's just horrible. Often times people can use web cams. You can see them and hear them, but you want so badly to be able to touch them and smell them and feel their arms around you. It is wonderful to see them and talk to them, know that they're ok, but there's a part of you that just yearns to be with them. That never goes away. It's on days like those where the web cam is a bit like pouring salt in the wound.

Sometimes you just have to touch the computer screen and day dream of the days you've spent together, praying you'll get to hold each other in your arms again soon................

I'm going to 12's

J comes home the other night and says they have to start working 12 hour shifts.

They've deployed SO MANY people out of his shop that there's no one left. J is one man deep (as in he's the only one!) in his section, doing a job it takes 3-5 people to do. So he's over stressed as it is, not they have to start working 12 hours on top of it?? The morale in that shop is going to hit rock bottom, and fast.

They keep getting tasked (asked to deploy people). So who is in charge of that? Why doesn't who ever is in charge start to turn them down? Why do they keep saying 'sure, we'll send more people'? I just don't get it. Where's the logic? I'm obviously missing something.

They're getting in some 'newbs' (new guys, fresh out of basic training) over the next 20 days and a few people are PCSing up here.

On an up note J said that they're starting to close down some bases over in the middle east. There really IS going to be a pullout. But do you think the MSM is going to cover it? No, because they'd have to give the Bush admin. credit that the surge worked. Go figure.

Call 911!!!

I will start by saying that I am happy to be alive an thankful to have my family. When I bought the house the ONLY demand I made was that they went out and bought a new CO detector for the second floor. I've never even known any one that had a problem, but it was just something I was being OCD about.

Sunday night we were supposed to ALL go out with some friends. James was being a jerk and I told him to stay home so I didn't have to deal with him and my mom and Kayla decided to stay too. So I took Ben and went out with some friends for dinner.

I got home at 9:30pm and James was still up. He wanted to apologize for being such an asshat. So he stayed up (normally he's asleep by 8:30 because he has to get up at 4:30) with me for a bit to talk. We were sharing a glass of milk, joking around, when an 'alarm' went off (10:30pm). We have HUGE, tall vaulted ceilings (so it echos in here) and thought it was the fire alarm at the top. I ran Ben into our bedroom so that his ears weren't hurting and James went to get the ladder. We couldn't figure out why it was going off since there was no smoke. I called my mom up to take Ben, while I helped James. He pulls if off the ceiling and is like 'this isn't going off'. We realized it was the carbon monoxide detector over by the fireplace. It's an older one so I figured the battery was dead or the sensor was 'dirty' and needed to air out. We put in a new battery and tried to air it out. It stopped after we had it outside for a min (and the door open off the family room, to the balcony).

We go sit back down and relax when the alarm in my daughters room goes off. I freak out and yell at James to go get her and get her outside NOW! I yell at my mom to get Ben outside right away. She was like 'why?' I just yelled at her again to get him out of the house. She wrapped him up in a blanket and headed to the door.

James got K and carried her outside. I called 911 (10:41pm) and gathered up blankets (it was -4 out that night) for in the vehicle. I get outside and we wait for the FD to get there. It's a volunteer dept. so it took them like 20 min. (thank God it wasn't burning down!). I notice a headache, but think it's just stress related.... after all, it's probably just faulty alarms, batteries, something.

A firefighter shows up with a special machine and James and him go inside w/o masks (idiots) to check it out. They're in there for a while and I got worried and texted James to see if everything was ok. He said no, there are 'elevated' levels in the house and 'calling back up'. Then another truck shows up and a bunch of guys get out in all their gear/masks, ect. They go in the house and are in there forever.

Finally I'm told that it's coming from the furnace... this gas was coming through ALL of the vents in the house!! Thank God we had a second alarm in Kayla's room. The first one did start going off again about 20 min. later (we'd had the door open and it cleared out a lot of the gas in the family room), but her room would have just been filling with gas that entire time.

At like 1:00 I tell James I'm going to leave and take the kids to a hotel since they were both tired and needed to go to sleep. We got to the hotel and all tucked into bed about 2am. It was just a really, really long night.

So we've had a ton of service guys out Monday, it still isn't 'fixed' per say. There's no more gas leak, but it will happen again. Turns out Carrier had a recall on their heat exchange things (can't remember the part name), but it isn't public or on their website!! These jerks could have killed my entire family, because they aren't 'vocal' about the recall on a part of theirs! So now I have to contact them and bitch about it. *sigh*

We still had a hotel room for Monday night and are home for good now. I had to go out and get a special detector that gives you the exact read out of carbon monoxide levels in the house and plug it in where Ben sleeps.

Make sure you guys all have detectors!!! I don't know what I would have done if I had lost my daughter or any one else

I have to take Ben to the hospital

So January 1st, I find out I have a severe case of mastitis.

January 5th J has to go back to work.

Ben got really sick when I had to switch him to formula. He started to spit up and throw up, like across the room throw up. So I had to switch him to 'sensitive' formula. He was also put on Zantac for his reflux.

He still seemed to be sick. So I have to take him back in (along with Kayla since James can't get off work to help me out, stupid military). They put him on Soy formula (he's now my hippie baby) and up his Zantac.

Then he got a rash that I thought had to do with the Zantac, so I drag him and Kayla back into the doctor.

Now he's on special formula (Alimentum) that is like $30 a can.

Breastfeeding is so much easier than this...................

I have to go to the ER

One New Year's Eve I went grocery shopping and noticed my right breast started to hurt. I went home and pumped, thinking I was just engorged. It didn't help.

So then, I look up mastitis on a hunch. It said to apply mouist heat, massage the area and it should help. I did that and went to bed. That night I thought I was dieing. I was shaking cold and in pain. I finally fell asleep around 4am. I woke up at 10am and felt fine. It worked!!

At noon I started to hurt again. By 2pm I could barely take it. By 4pm (New Year's day) I said I HAVE to go to the ER. Something is wrong!!

Turns out I had mastitis. But, do you think I could have a regular staph infection? No, it had to be MRSA! So I had to take 2 antibiotics, 10 times a day, for 10 days!! I had to stop breastfeeding Benjamin immediately. :O(

That's when the problems with Ben started.

So here I am, just 2.5 weeks postpartum and James has to go back to work, I'm on tons of meds., and then Ben gets sick........ even when J is home, it's like being a single parent.

I have to go back to work

James was supposed to be getting his 'holiday leave' the week leading up to Christmas. Then he was going to take his 10 days paternity leave. Then he was going to take the rest of leave until my mom got here.

His work said no. They took away his holiday leave entirely and made him take his 10 days pat. leave then. Then they said he HAD to be back to work 2 weeks later, and charged him those 2 weeks of leave.

So every one else in his shop got their holiday leave. My husband had a sick baby, a sick wife, and a toddler at home and he got his leave taken away. WTF?? The military REALLY sucks some times.

So James went back to work on the 5th........ but not before me getting really sick......

"Your baby had to go to the NICU"




December 14th/15th/16th, 2008




Sat. (the 14th) came and I was still having ctx., but only every 15 min. or so. Most of them were ok, but there were a few that stopped me in my tracks.




Sun. I woke up and felt 'off'. I just didn't feel well at all and I was really crampy (like AF cramps). I ate a pop tart for breakfast and just laid around on the couch not feeling well. Noon rolled around and I still wasn't feeling very good. The ctx. were about every 15 min. or so, but I felt sick. I had a few pieces of toast for lunch and that was all. I went back to sitting on the couch feeling yucky.




At 2pm the ctx. picked up to every 5 min. apart and were hurting. I took a bath, didn't help. I drank about 80 oz. of water, that didn't help. I got out a heating pad, that didn't help. I couldn't eat dinner at all and I noticed that Ben wasn't moving much. At about 6pm I realized things were NOT getting better but much worse. The ctx. were every 3-5 min. at that point and pretty painful. I called my doc. and they said to go back into L&D to get looked at again. We dropped off Kayla at the sitter and headed into the hospital. When I got there the ctx were every 2-3 min. apart and HORRIBLE! The ctx themselves weren't awful, but the pain at my old scar tissue area was wicked bad. It felt like someone was stabbing me in the lower abdomen or that my uterus was ripping apart. I got checked and my cervix was at 0cm ( the week before it was like a 1.5) and 20% effaced, baby was so high they couldn't even feel him. They started IV fluid and got me something for the nausea (because of the pain I was in I felt sick). After a while the ctx. were every 30sec.-3min. They checked me and I was at a 1. I got meds for the pain and was still having ctx. regularly. They checked me again and I was a 1.5. They knew Ben's lungs weren't ready yet (they were measuring 34weeks gestation) so I would have to be transported 45 min. to Anchorage to the Children's hospital where the only level III NICU in the state is. They asked if I still wanted a VBAC to which I said no. I know I could have gotten an epi. for the pain, but the ctx. weren't that bad (not compared to the other pain). I felt very unsure about the other pain and thought something else was up. The scar tissue pain shouldn't have been like it was and they thought I had a hematoma and adhesion's on the inside where Ben's head was hitting it. So I felt safest doing a c-section.




They called an ambulance, I got loaded up, and I was off to Anchorage. They checked me before we left and I was at 2 cm. They called guardian flight ambulance services. They have all the same equipment that med flight does and have the same 'staff' on board. They have a complete pharmacy and everything needed to deliver a baby on board. The hospital also had to send down my nurse, who brought two more bags with equipment to help in the delivery of a baby. I was dilating quickly enough, they weren't sure we'd make it. There were so many people and so much equipment in the ambulance that there was no room for James to ride with. He followed us down there and later told me the slowest we were going at any point was 80.



I started to feel some weird pressure during ctx. only and the nurse said she needed to check me again. She waited until just after a ctx. and then checked me, I was at a 3 (in just 2 hours). The driver asked if he needed to step it up and I said I was fine, lol..... because like I can control how fast my cervix opens..... riiiiiiiiight. They had to check my bp periodically also. we got about 20 miles outside of town and my bp dropped. It was 80/50 and the two people in back couldn't really believe it. The nurse (Julie) asked how I was feeling and I told her ok, just had a headache. So they checked my bp again right away and it was 60/50. The driver again is asking if he should go faster, and I think at that point, he just did. So, they immediately grab me and roll me onto my side. The baby was laying on a main artery and cutting off my blood supply I guess. After rolling me over, my bp went back up to normal.



We get to Anchorage (in what seemed like no time at all, it couldn't have taken more than 30 min. MAX) and I'm wheeled back to a huge delivery room. The hospital checked me again and I was at a 2 (diff. person checking me), but the baby's head was now 'right there' and I had lots of bloody show. A woman came in and asked me if I still wanted to try the VBAC to which I said no, because I didn't think it was safe for me or baby. They got the team together and got me ready for a c-section. I was taken into the OR and given a spinal. They had 2 OBs there, a neonatologist, and a perinatalogist (the ONLY one in the state!!), plus all the other nurses, some residents, and a ped. The spinal went in fine and they got me all draped. James was brought in just after the drape went up. It was strangely quiet during this c-section.




During my first with Kayla people were talking and it was calm. James sat there holding my hand and we waited. Before I knew it they were sucking out the fluid and the anesth. said the doc. was going to push really hard to get the baby out (and push they did!!). Finally they said 'the baby's here!'



There were no screams or cries. The held him over the drape for half a second and he was the smallest, cutest thing I had ever seen. They took him over to the warmer right away. It was so silent in there you could hear a pin drop. Instead of a pin drop all I could hear was the sound of an oxygen bag being pumped steadily and quickly. The nurses were all around the warmer and they had James stand in my way, so I couldn't see. I didn't need to see, the sound said it all. My baby wasn't breathing. I just laid there in shock praying for him to take a breathe. What seemed like 30 min. passed. After an actual min., he took his first breath and made his first little 'meow'. All the nurses kind of cheered and the tension suddenly died. James got up and was over by Ben (I found out alter he was cutting what was left of the cord). Ben's one min. apgar score was only a 3. I still couldn't see what was going on and just laid there. All the sudden I felt sick. I told them I was going to be sick and they got me a small pail thing and said 'go ahead and throw up.' To which I said, 'WHAT?!?! I'll choke and die!!' LOL SURELY since I was laying down, if I threw up I was going to die. The anesth. put drugs in my IV to help me not get sick, which didn't get in soon enough. It was just bile since I hadn't eaten in over 12 hours, but the anesth. was right there with a suction and I didn't choke.... or die :O)



They brought Ben over for a second (thank God the nausea meds. kicked in, otherwise I would have asked them to take him away!). I got to give him a kiss and tell him I loved him. Then he was off to the NICU, James went with.



I laid there, alone, in silence, while they finished up the surgery. It seemed to be taking FOREVER and I asked how much longer it was going to take. They said they were almost done and that they'd talk to me about it later. That's never a good thing to hear!



I got to recovery and they said that Ben was out of the NICU and in the step down nursery. A little while later, James came in. We chatted about the baby and he asked how I was doing. Then a nurse came in and asked if I knew Ben was back in the NICU. I said no as I held back the tears. James told the nurse he hadn't told me yet because he didn't want to upset me.
Ben had spent 30 min. in the NICU and did fine, so they sent him down to the regular nursery. He had low blood sugar so they tried to give him some formula, where he chocked on it and stopped breathing, so back up to NICU he went. He started to have apnea spells where his oxygen levels dropped as well as his breathing.



When I was able to move my legs, they transferred me to my post-partum room. I was on a morphine pump when I got there. As soon as my pump was emtpy 12 hours after the surgery, I was allowed to walk down to see Ben. I got into the NICU and had to scrub in, just to go see my child. We went to the Intensive care part of the NICU. Ben was in the first bed and he was hooked up to all kinds of machines. It took everything I had not to break down in tears. They let me hold him on my chest for a while. When it was time for us to go, I laid him down, and he stopped breathing. My heart sunk as I watched his lips turn blue. The nurse grabbed him and quickly stimulated him. I went back to my room in shock that my baby was sick.



The next day they moved him to the 'step down' NICU. He was discharged on Friday, Dec. 19th at 12:30pm.



On Tuesday morning the perinatologist came in to see how I was doing. I asked her what had happened during the surgery and what she saw. I said there HAD to be something wrong in there with all the pain I was in. She said that my uterus was bruised from front to back all long my old scar tissue. She said the bruising was very extensive and bad. She also said that the old scar was very thin in some places and had I been allowed to labor any longer, I would have abrupted. She said that had I tried the VBAC, my uterus would have burst open and we would have ended up in an emergency c-section, where Ben and I both may have died. She said that the scar was so bruised and thin that she had to overlap parts or my uterus, just to get it to stitch back together. She said that I should never 'labor' again. I'm very grateful for Dr. Richey. She saved my uterus and gave me the option of having more children some day, should that be what we decide.



I'm doing good and feel great considering what all we've been through the last few days.
I got to the hospital by house around 7:30pm on the 14th. I was in Anchorage by 12:30am on the 15th, and Ben was out by 2:28am.



So, Benjamin David was born at 2:28am, on Dec. 15th. He weighed 6lbs 4oz and is 20 inches long.

Your baby's lungs aren't mature




Dec. 12th, 2008

I went to my apt. yesterday as planned. I had been in false labor for days. No big deal, except that during and after every contraction I was in HORRIBLE pain down low, where I guessed my scar tissue from my first c-section was. Did the NST, Ben did his normal fail and took and hour and a half to 'pass.' I get into the room, they do the GBS test and check my cervix. I told my doc. about the sharp stabbing pain. I was worried if I was went into labor that i would abrupt or something because it hurt so bad. She agreed and said I need an u/s ASAP to look at the scar and make sure it isn't too thin. So I scheduled with the front desk person for an u/s on Weds. and went about my way home.

I got half way home when my fav. nurse Beverly calls. I answer the phone and it went something like this:
Nurse: "Kimberly........ this is Bev"
Me: "Hi Beverly!! " (she's my fav., I really like her)
Nurse: "what are you doing?"
Me: "going home!"
Nurse: "No, you need to get your little butt over to L&D right away for an u/s!"

So I head over there, get set up and hooked up to monitors..... I'm contracting about every 5-10 min. and the pain in the scar tissue area is still there. They wheel me down to u/s and take a peak. I tell her where it hurts and it IS exactly on my scar line. But she couldn't see how thick the scar was or anything because Ben's head was pushed right up against it. He did measure 6lbs, 11oz. though! And was practicing his breathing.

So I head back to Triage and I'm still contracting and the pain is getting worse. My OB says to start an IV to try to slow down the ctx. so that I don't hurt as bad. It took them TWO hours to get an IV in me!! (keep in mind I had water at the OBs office and two large glasses since sitting there, my veins just disappeared!) They had to call down a peds nurse and she couldn't get it! Finally they called down a pedi. DOCTOR and she was able to get an IV in, after about 10 min. of digging in my hand, ouch! I got stuck a total of 6 times and am all bruised up from it..... fun. So, IV went in and fluids started. the ctx. got WORSE! They were stronger and only 2-3 min. apart. The ctx. themselves weren't that bad at all, but the scar tissue pain was getting worse and worse with every contraction. Finally my OB says admit her and they gave me drugs to take the edge off...... no one said it would make me feel drunk though! I felt great! We got settled into our room and were told to get some sleep. They were to do an amnio. in the am and if all went well, c/s in the afternoon. Someone came in to draw blood (yet another needle poke!), but it only took one stick. They gave me something to make me sleep, and off I went at about 11pm.

At 7am I got up for my second blood draw (yup, ANOTHER needle poke) and got ready for my amnio. I hadn't had anything to eat since 11am the day before and they took away all liquids at midnight :cry: They did an u/s there in my room to find a spot for the amnio. My fluid level had DROPPED a lot from the u/s the night before. Which, doesn't make any sense to me since they were packing me full of IV fluid all night but, whatever. In every quadrant Ben had a limb, face, cord, or placenta. finally they found a spot, number the skin and did the stick. OF COURSE, he moved into the way and they had to pull it out. They found a new spot and did another stick!! Ok, seriously, enough with the needles already! They got what they needed and we started the wait.

At 10:30 they found out his lungs weren't good enough, but didn't have any numbers back, since the lab here isn't that good. So they had to hire a Currier (sp)/private jet to fly my amnio. down to CA. They'll have the full results tomorrow, but will give me a call on Monday. With those results they'll be able to tell what day would be best to take him out. As soon as he's ready, they're going to pull him out. It could be Mon., but shouldn't be any later than Friday.

As for the pain........ the scar itself looked great and REALLY thick. It looked like there were a bunch of adhesions on the inside of it, so where the baby is and a small hematoma (sp?). Because his hard head is right on top of the scar and I've been ctx., with every ctx his head is slammed into the scar tissue causing the bleeding. So, that's their explanation of the pain. Since I'm at home and not at the hospital, I can only take Tylenol. But I REALLY wanted to come home and see my DD and get some final stuff ready. I'm on strict bed rest again, so I can only get up to pee, eat, and shower. DH took next week off work, and then his holiday leave starts on Friday, so that's good. I was sooooooo beyond amazed at how good he was. All he wanted to do was help me and make sure I was comfy. Of course, all I wanted was total silence and to be left alone.......

more complications











Nov. 11th, 2008:






a week ago I was in L&D after losing part of my mucus plug. I went into labor while at the hospital. My cervix dilated to 2 and I was 75% effaced. Then it stopped just as soon as it started! So they said I could go home as long as I stayed on bedrest. At my apt. on Thurs. I had an NST. Ben's heart rate wasn't responsive. He was cutting off his own blood supply :O( So the doctor said just 5 more weeks!! I have an NST once a week from now on. So, stay put little boy just a few more weeks! We're down to only 4 weeks!! YAY!



Nov. 18th:



My apt. went great today. My BP was the lowest it's ever been and Ben's HR was actually responsive! So they said that at this point they will let me go until 39 weeks!! Because of my prior c-sec. they said they will NOT induce me, period. IF I go into labor on my own any time after the 1st of Dec., they wont do any thing to stop it and I get to have my VBAC if things progress normally. IF I can get to 3 cm dilated before 39 weeks they will break my water and I can have a VBAC if everything is going well. If I do not dilate (I'm still a fingertip, so I hope this isn't the case) and I make it all the way to 39 weeks, Ben will be delivered vis c-section on Dec. 29th! So the LAST day I will be pg. with Ben, at the latest, is the 29th! I'm sooooooo excited to have a date on paper. Obviously I hope it doesn't come to that and I do go into labor on my own prior or I do dilate, but if not, then it's a repeat section on the 29th.




Nov. 26th:


My apt. went ok. I didn't need an NST because they were able to see him 'breathing' a lot, so that was good. His growth has slowed WAY down and he's now measuring behind. He has been measuring big since like 18 weeks and because of the BP meds. I'm on, he SHOULD be on the big side (which is why they did this scan). My fluid level was also low. So it's something new they need to keep an eye on. He weighs 4 pounds 12oz. and is a week behind overall. Considering just a few weeks ago, he was measuring several weeks ahead, that's a big slow down, when he should be growing a lot right now.








Dec. 3rd:


Did I mention that I fell down the stairs today? Well I more landed on my butt and slid on my side a little. I have a LONG cut and bruise from it and they had to place the band from the NST around it. So Ben's movement had been WAY down the last 2 days and then the fall today, every one was pretty concerned. I get hooked up to the machines (Ben had been moving about since lunch) and he was ALLLLL over the place! His heart rate went OVER 200 several times. NOT normal for him. It took almost an hour for it to come down to his normal range. So then, no longer worried about that.... but then he wasn't responsive at all. Then he went to sleep (he was pooped after all that running around in there). UGH! So I had to drink water, eat crackers, ect. I was there for 2 hours on the stupid machine. But he passed, finally, and barely. But hey, passing is good enough for me! So now at next week apt., even if he fails horribly and I have to have an emergency c-section that day (good lord I hope that never happens), I wont have to get transfered to Anch.! We wont need the NICU or anything, so we're good to go! They start to check my cervix next week too! YAY! I can't believe I'm almost done and I'm about to meet my son! Oh, after he calmed down a bit he got MASSIVE hickups for 15 min. They were so loud the machine had a hard time getting his heart rate over the noice, lol. So all up and down the halls you could here him hickup. It was the funniest sound! I've felt them a LOT, but have never heard them like that. The nurses were all laughing at him, lol. They also nicknamed him 'wild child' since EVERY time I go in there for an NST he's allllll over the place, but never reactive. He's so naughty The nurses all know who I am (even though they have 9,000 pts.) since EVERY time I'm in there, he gives them such a hard time. So I had one of my reg. nurses today and all the others I see popped in to say hi and laugh at Ben.

It's a............

August, 2008
BOY!! We are just over the moon to be adding a baby boy to our family.

Sept. 9th
Ahhh, to be at viability. Just 7 days away!! the large milestones just seem to keep coming and going and I couldn't be happier. Ben is a VERY active baby. He throws really good punches and kicks. His favorite place is straight down into my bladder, what a nice baby. lol The last few days he's been kicking up higher and it's nice to actually be able to SEE my belly move now. When he kicks down I can feel it (it HURTS), but it can't be seen or felt from the outside. So daddy hasn't been to feel very many kicks yet, even though I get nailed throughout the day. Ben just started kicking me in my bladder as if he knows I'm talking about him, lol. He has about 3-4 good 'wake' periods a day now where he moves/kicks for a good 45 min. at a time, not just random movements throughout the day. I still have those of course, but when he's 'awake,' he's REALLY awake. It's such a weird change for me because Kayla was always so gentle and never really kicked, but it was more like a dance. I'm really enjoying some of those good strong movements because it makes me feel like he's healthy and strong in there. My back has hurt most of the pg., but not like it was with Kayla's. It's tolerable and I can still stand for longer periods of time. So that's also a very nice change. My hips are starting to hurt now as Ben gets heavier. That gets worse every day (it only started a week ago) and it's hard to think I have a good 14 weeks of it left!! All of the physical pain is very worth the reward in the end!!

Sept. 11th

So I went in today for my regular 4 week checkup. I found out I'm having a DECEMBER baby!! I've had chronic high bp this entire pg., so knew this was coming.... Normally my BP is through the roof when I go in, but today it wasn't horrible. They still put me on Aldomet starting today. I have to take it 3X a day until Ben is here and they'll up the dose as needed. Because of the meds. they have to start doing growth scan at 28-32 weeks, every week until he's born. They will not let me go past 39 weeks (last week in December) because of the meds. I'm on also. So, heart meds., baby in December, and u/s in the am. I can't believe I get to meet my little boy in just 3 months!!

It's no longer a normal pregnany


July 31st, 2008


Well, my uneventful pregnancy is no longer uneventful.


I had a regular apt. Tuesday. The first time I was allowed to go more than 2 weeks w/o seeing a doctor!! I made it all four weeks! Then that came crashing down :O( My BP has been high this entire pg. pretty much. It was a bit higher Tuesday and high enough that I now have to be seen every two weeks (then weekly starting at 28 weeks). Yes, I go back in just 2 weeks. At my apt. on the 14th we will discuss which heart medication I need to be on. I PRAY that it works and I don't need bed rest. Bed rest would present a whole new basket of problems with Kayla and what not. So we'll go over if James would get convalescent leave or not. If not Kayla will go live with my parents for the remainder of my pg. (should bed rest become an issue, she would leave then) It's hard to imagine Kayla being gone for a couple of months, even for a couple of weeks!! So I hope that doesn't become an issue, but it's good to know she'd be taken care of, if needed. I'm also waiting on my referral from Tricare for my 'BIG' ultrasound. I hope we can get it scheduled for next week. I'm super anxious to find out what this baby's sex is! :O)



Aug. 15th

I just got home from L&D. blah. I was contracting every about 15 min and I went to bathroom and found spotting and a part of my mucus plug. Thought if I laid down it would stop. It did. Then James called the hospital (w/o telling me) and they said I needed to come in. So I got up to go in and the contractions started again. So they hook me up and see I'm contracting about every 8 minutes. The doc. on call comes in and says I'm contracting way more than I should be (duh!). After an hour they do a vaginal u/s to measure my cervix it was over 4cm, so that was awesome. Did an internal and my cervix was closed. Tested my pee for a UTI and it came back just saying I haven't had enough to eat today... whatever. So they sent me home. Which is great and I'm over the moon that I'm not in pre-term labor or anything. I'm frustrated that there's nothing they would do to stop the contractions. Granted they weren't doing anything/dilating me, but they were still uncomfortable. Soooooo I have an irritable uterus. If the contractions get more painful or I start to spot/bleed, then I need to come back in. In the mean time I get just have fun with LOTS of contractions for the next 20 weeks.... SUCKS! Oh well though, it could be way worse.

I'm pregnant again




I decided I would do one lst round of clomid and metformin. After that, no more. I couldn't continue the up and down roller coaster. It was just too much for James and I.




The rest of the Journey went something like this:




April 27th, 2008:


We're pregnant!! After a year and a half of trying and four early losses (not including Kayla's twin and the pregnancy before Kayla's) we're pregnant again. Things are going great so far, but we'll know more in the next few days. If I can just make it through the next two days things will look great (I haven't made it that far since Kayla). I was going to surprise James but ended up starting to cry. He asked why I was upset and I showed him the test. So much for a big surprise, lol. We're both super excited and couldn't be happier.




April 30th:


I just got back from my first prenatal apt. It went great. Everything is looking really good so far! I'm having my first ultrasound in just 2 weeks!! We're hoping to be able to see the heartbeat by then, but may not be able to. As long as there's a yolk sac and fetal pole things will be good! Our first beta just came back at 47. I thought it would only be around 30 based on ovulation date and probably implant day (nice dip in my chart) so it sounds like a nice healthy little bean is in there! I go in Friday for another beta to make sure the number goes up (it should double every 48-72 hours), so anything above 80 would be great (I'd like it to be over 100 though, but it would be just fine in the 80's or 90's)




May 2nd:


We got our second beta number back last night. It was 152!! The first number was 47, an acceptable seond number would have been 80-94. So that number is great!! now the 2 week wait for our first u/s begins!!




June 4th:


We had our second ultrasound on Monday morning. At our first us we coud see a nice gestationa sac and a yolk sac. Well, Monday we got a GREAT view of the baby!!! S/he was very co-operative with us this time. The baby was looking right at us (see us pic. in photos). We got to see it's little arms and legs. It's FAT little belly and it's alien face. But best of all, we got to see the heart beating. And it was a good strong rate at 180!!! It was moving around a lot :O) Maybe it's another little girl! :O) We got to listen to the heartbeat and it was the best sound in the world!! We are able to breathe a HUGE sigh of relief as the risk for miscarriage is now less than 3%, although we are well aware that a lot can still go wrong. We continue to pray for this little one and hope it all turns out ok.




June 27th


At my apt. I asked the nurse about a NT scan. She didn't even know what I was talking about!!! As it turns out, they don't do them there, period. They send you for a blood panel at 18 weeks and if anything comes back odd, then they send you to a radiologist. So I figured, ok I wont get to see the baby. Then the doctor came in and said, lets just go do a scan rather than chasing the baby around (with the doppler). So off we went to the u/s room and we got to see and hear the baby. S/he was in there just wiggling away. The baby was looking at us most of the time and then right at the end, s/he turned his/her head and we were able to get a picture of his/her face (profile). I go back in a month for a reg. apt. and because I mentioned a nt scan, they're going to set up a 'anatomy??' scan at a radiologist between 18 & 20 weeks and check out all the organs, sex of the baby (which they would normally do in office), ect. Oh, the baby is also measuring at 12+5, so it had a little growth spurt! But since we know the day I got pg., we're not changing the due date.

James, we lost the baby.


Our quest for baby #2 begin in October of 2006 when James was home on R&R. I didn't get pg.

We continued trying in May 2007, when he got home from Korea. Nothing.

Then in June we found out we were pregnant! We'd done it! It only took us 3 months to get pregnant with our daughter, it should be just as easy this time. Just a week after I found out I was pregnant I started to bleed. There was no more baby. It was hard, but nothing compared to what we were approaching.

In July we found out we were pregnant again!! SUCCESS! This was it. This was going to be a healthy baby and I couldn't wait to hold him/her in my arms. Two weeks later I started to bleed again. I'd lost another baby. I couldn't believe it. This one was harder than the last. Was there something wrong with me? Was there something wrong with my babies? What was going on? The military doctors were of no help and wouldn't even see me.

In September I found out I was pregnant again. I cried. I knew this baby would die to, just like the last two. I made an appointment to see the doctor. I went in two weeks after I found out I was pregnant (the base has this 'rule' that they wont see you unless you are two weeks late). I had my blood drawn and my HCG was already down to a 1. This was my third miscarriage in a row. I cried and cried, and then cried some more. How could I go home and tell my husband that we'd lost our fourth baby (there was one before Kayla, while he was in training in Texas). I'd failed as a mother and a wife. My body was rejecting our children. What was wrong with me??

I FINALLY got in to see the doctor and they began testing me. I was having a progesterone issue. I would ovulate, but weekly and my prog. level wouldn't get high enough to sustain a pregnancy. I was given the medication Clomid (and metformin) to make me ovulate better. The first month on it, I ovulated! WOO HOOO! My body was working. My numbers were getting better, but still weren't perfect.

The second month on it, I just KNEW it was going to be the month. Sure enough, I got pregnant. I was on infertility meds., this pregnancy was going to work out and I was going to be pregnant and hold my child! I went in for testing and a day later I was bleeding. My blood levels came back again, to show low progesterone.

I couldn't stop crying. My body had once again let me down. Let my child down. Let my husband down. I quit. I decided I couldn't do it any more and that maybe we were meant to just have one child. I couldn't take the ups and downs any more. I now had five babies in heaven..... I wanted my babies to play with me, not Jesus.





Summer Twilight by Amy Harris


When first we knew you were alive, we danced for joy.

We fell down on our knees and prayed for a healthy girl or boy.

We dreamed of how our hearts would soar when we held your tiny frame.

You never even had a name, and yet we loved you just the same.


Chorus:

Why did you have to leave us befor we could see your face,

Touch your hair, dry your tears, or feel your sweet embrace?

You are safe and warm now with our Father who knows best.

He'll take care, and we'll see you there when we come into His rest.

Would you have had your daddy's hands, or your mama's eyes?

Would you have spent the summer twilight just chasing firefiles?

Would your grandpa teach you how to fish on a clear blue mountain lake?

Blow out the candles on your cake! What kinds of wishes would you make?

Chorus:We never heard your laughter, we never saw your smile.

We never looked into your eyes to say, "I love you, my child."

We never got to hold you and kiss away your fears.

Oh God, Oh God, please hold us and wipe away our tears!


Dear little one, it seems too soon to say goodbye,

And though we know it's not for long, our hearts still cry.

By faith we put our hope in God, in His strong and loving hand.

We're trusting in His perfect plan, but still we do not understand....
Oh baby, we'll see you when we come into His rest.


It's breast cancer...... again.


Right before our wedding reception in 2005, I found out that my mom had breast cancer. It was aggressive and she would need chemo and radiation. I wasn't home for it, and was 'far' away in Georgia, but my heart hurt for her. She never did good under anesthesia and didn't respond well to medications in general. She's very sensitive to things like that. I worried every day about the chemo and if it would kill her.


When I saw my mom at our reception that August, she had no hair. My dad had shaved his head also and even the ugly mustache he'd had since before I was born. I was glad to see my dad's new hair do.... not so excited about my moms. The day of my reception, she looked gorgeous, even bald.


After the chemo and radiation things were going well and all was fine.


Kayla was born 6 months later. My mom came down to Georgia in March, when Kayla was 2 weeks old. Her hair had started to grow back and looked nice. My mom on the other hand, didn't. She seemed tired and just looked bad. I thought it was because of the chemo., but as time went on with her, I just knew something else was wrong.


I went to bed the third night of her being there and sat up talking with J. I told him she looked sick and that something was wrong. Some thing HAD to be wrong with my mom. My 'mom' was there, but she wasn't. Something wasn't right.


My mom went home and my MIL came down for a week. Since James was going to be leaving for Korea for a year just a month later, we decided we'd go to Michigan to see his family and then home to see mine. We spent a week in MI and then headed to WI.


While in WI I found out that my mom had breast cancer, again. It was a very aggressive strain, worse than the first one. I didn't under stand at all. She JUST went through chemo. and radiation. How did she have cancer again? Her hair hadn't even grown back all the way, how could this be going on?? What was the chemo for? Why did she suffer through all of that if it didn't even help her?? It was a different breast cancer, a worse one. She would need an immediate double mastectomy. The doctor told her to take one last vacation and then return for the surgery.


James and I decided then that I would return home with Kayla in April to help my mom and be with her. She'd need it.


I got to WI in April, James left for Korea a week later. In May, my mom took her 'last' vacation. She came home and had a double mastectomy and a reconstruction at the same time. Her recovery was slow and painful. I'd get up every morning with Kayla and go up stairs to the main floor. My mom would hear her cooing and would slowly make her way down to see her. I think that's the only reason she got out of bed most days.... to see Kayla.


She slowly recovered and is doing amazing to this day. They found out it was hormone receptive (or something like that) and had been 'triggered' by hormones. I can never go on BCPs or hormone contraceptives again.



Thursday, February 5, 2009

We've got orders!




While James was in Korea, we were to move from GA, to our new base.

I got a call from J one day and he said "we've got orders!" To where?? Alaska!! "Wait, WHAT?? You want me to pick up my daughter and move 4,000 miles away to a cold ass place?? You're nuts and I'm not going!!" I hung up the phone. Nice huh?

Well, obviously I changed my mind. In February of 2007 I returned to Georgia from Wisconsin. I packed up my daughter and all of our stuff. I made the trip, alone with my daughter, across the country. We flew from Atlanta to AZ and from there on to AK. I bought a house and moved all of our stuff into it. Then I waited. I waited until May for James to get 'home' to Alaska. I only knew one person 'Ali'. I didn't know where any thing was. In true military fashion, no one from J's new shop called me, offered me a map, or checked in on me. Talk about putting a bad taste in the mouth, before you've even taken a bite!!
We've had tons of amazing adventures here since. Alaska is gorgeous and I recommend every one get here at least once in their life to see the beauty!! We've seen bear, moose, and bald eagles. We've been through wind storms, earthquakes, and volcanoes. It's an amazing, ever changing world here. We have one more summer here (this is our last year) and the things to do are endless....... I can't wait to see what this year brings us!!
In Dec. we're all going to Wisconsin for a few weeks and James is leaving from there to Russia. Then I'm taking the kids to Florida for some much needed R&R (and distraction from the fact that daddy is gone) in Jan. I don't know when we'll return to Alaska, but I'm guessing in Feb. Where we sit and wait for J to get back, again. Why does it seem we're always waiting for him to return home from some place over seas? This really sucks!

I'm Pregnant!! I'm going to Korea......


James and I got back from Texas in March of 2005. In May of 2005, I flew to Wisconsin to plan our reception that was to be later in the fall. We'd decided while he was gone that we really wanted to be together and stay married. So we told our families (I'd actually told mine right away, he hadn't told his) and my parent's planned a gorgeous reception for us.

I got home the first week in June. The first week in July, we found out we were pregnant!!

I was feeling REALLLY sick. I took an HPT and the line was faint, but there, but kind of not. James said 'what does it say'. I said 'I think it says you're going to be a daddy.'

I called the base and the told me to come in for a blood test, so I did. The nurse called me the next day and said, 'Congratulations. You're VERY pregnant.' I didn't know what that meant, nor did I care. I just cried and cried because I was going to be a mommy!!

We went to the doc. at 7 weeks pg. and got an ultrasound..... where we were told it was twins!! GAH! YAY! and oh no!! James got so pale I thought he was going to pass out. We were told one baby was measuring very small and looked very sick. We couldn't get a heartbeat, but were told it was may just be to early or it may be dieing. Then it was 'will both babies die,' 'what will happen to the sick baby if it does die'?? The doc. had lots of answers, but it was def. a wait and see kind of thing.

We came back at 12 weeks for another u/s. There was only one baby. I was sad for the baby that had passed away, but was overjoyed that I still had one healthy baby.

We found out around 20 weeks it was a girl!!

When I was about 7 months pg. James came home and said "sit down." (I have since learned a conversation is only going to go down hill VERY fast from there) J said he was going to be going to Korea for one year, in April of 2006. I was due in March of 2006.

Our gorgeous daughter was born in February of 2006. I ended up with pregnancy induced hypertension. I had to go in twice weekly for non-stress tests (sit in a room, quiet, hooked up to monitors) and a weekly ultrasound. I went in for my stress test and Kayla failed it. Her hear rate wasn't responsive at all. My blood preasure was through the roof. While the doc. is telling me to go to the hospital I mention that I think my water broke. It had. So across the street I go for an emergency c-section.


Just a few months later, James was on his way to Korea. I moved back to WI to be with my family. My mom was battling breast cancer for the second time and had to have a double mastectomy.

I had to help my sick mother, be a mommy to a baby, and try to be a good wife from thousands of miles away. It's a very large role to play. I wonder what it's like to have a 'normal' life....... but for me, I guess this is normal.

Kayla and I had MANY adventures on our own. It was a lot of fun. Other things, not so fun. I had my tonsils out just before J came home and it almost killed me (bleeding issues). J got to come home for a 'mid tour' in October and it was wonderful. We decided we'd start trying for baby #2 while he was home!! Having to say good bye again was REALLY REALLY hard, I wouldn't wish that one any one. He was gone for 6 months, home for 3 weeks, and then we had to say goodbye for another 6 months. It was horrible.

Our marriage saw it's far share of issues while he was gone, but I guess I'll save that for another post.

Honey, I'm deploying to Iraq


James and I had been dating for oh, I don't know.... a month! He comes home and says 'Honey, I'm deploying to Iraq.' I knew before agreeing to move in with him he would be deploying at some point. We just didn't realize it would be so soon. He had just gotten home from a 9 month tour in May of 2004, it was only November.

In December we find out it's going to be in January of 2005. We decide to get married before he leaves. More so that if anything happened to him I'd be made aware of it, I could pay his bills while he was over there, I'd have insurance, ect. Our plan was to get married, not tell any one, and just see how it went when he got back.

On December 21st, 2004 we got married. The first week in January, James left for Iraq. He was to do 2 months of training in Texas and then 9 months over in Iraq.

Soon after he left, I discovered I was pg!! I later miscarried that baby, while he was still in Texas.

I cried every single night that he was gone. I went out with friend every day and still, I cried. It just never got easier. And he wasn't even over seas yet!! He was still in the states! How was I going to get through 9 months of him getting shot at??

Right before they were supposed to leave they were told they'd get one weekend of 'leave.' I asked another girlfriend from the shop if she wanted to drive out to TX with me and visit the guys. She cried and said yes!! YAY!!

Soon after, we were on our way to TX. What an adventure that was. We stopped at gas station casinos on the way out there (they have casinos in gas stations down south!! Go figure!). It was awesome! The guys got leave and it was wonderful to see them. It had been 8 weeks since we'd seen them.

We were set to leave on that Monday I believe. We found out over that weekend that the guys were getting the following weekend off too!! We both called our jobs and said we had to stay longer to see our men one last time. We spent the week shopping and site seeing. We went to the Alamo, the River walk, and all kinds of neat things. I really love San Antonio and it will always hold a special part in my heart. I miss Texas.

On Weds. I get a call from James. A (the girl I was with) and I were out to dinner so I missed the call. The voicemail said 'I'm on my way to the hospital, meet me there'. That was it. Nothing more. I FREAKED OUT!! We were at a hotel just outside the base there in San An. I went over to the hospital ER expecting the worse.

When I got there, he wasn't there. I was able to fill out all the paper work for him and get him checked in.... kind of. I still didn't know what was wrong with him! They were doing training, for all I knew, he'd been shot or stabbed! A few minutes later he was wheeled in on a wheelchair. They thought he broke his foot.

Turns out he tore a bunch of ligaments (or something) in his ankle/foot. So, they wrap him up, send him back to camp, and tell him to come in on Friday.

I go in with him to the hospital. The doc. finds out he's at 'camp' getting ready to deploy. He looks at his foot and says 'You can't deploy. There's no way you can carry your bag or run or anything else.' If I could give that man a hug to this day, I would.

James was going to get to come home with me!! We left that Saturday for GA. It was bittersweet though. My friend's man was still deploying. He was still about to leave. He was going to miss the birth of his daughter. She was going to be alone with her baby for a while before he got home. It broke my heart to watch her suffer, yet inside I was so over joyed that I got to spend the next year with my husband.

It's incredibly hard to watch other wives suffer a pain you know all to well. To go through life's ups and downs all alone...... knowing they miss you as much as you miss them. Military wives share a very special kind of bond, and understanding that only a military wife has.

"I just got arrested!"

My first experience on a military base was a bit less than graceful.

I had gone from security, to working at a police station, to working at an FBI building, to give you a little history. I love law enforcement and miss my old jobs terribly. I had NEVER been arrested before in my life and only had one speeding ticket, back when I was 18.

I went to Georgia to meet James and spend some time with him. I got there the end of October (like the 29th). On the 31st, we decided to go on base (James lived off base, so it was to be my first time going) and hang out with some of his friends. I met a few people and was having a good time. All of the women were going to take the kids trick-or-treating and asked if I wanted to go. I said 'sure'! The boys went paint balling and then came back to his friend's house and played video games.

After trick-or-treating in one neighborhood, we decided to drive around base and go to the 'Officer housing area'. The first mistake of the night.

There were like 5 adults and I don't know how many kids. There were kids riding around on trailer beds and stuff in the one main neighborhood we were at. So we thought it would be ok if we ALL piled into J's truck. Second mistake of the night. There were kids in the bed of the truck, un-belted. Third mistake of the night. (hind sight is 20/20)

Now, the speed limit was like 5 miles an hour on base, other people were doing it, and there were sooo many people out, you had to go slow to be safe anyway.

We pull into the officer's housing area and there's no one around. I thought it was weird. Before I knew it, we were lost in a sea of cookie-cutter houses. I see some guys in uniform walking on the side of the road. I say 'We'll ask these guys where to go' and begin to pull over. The other girls start shouting 'Nooooooo.' But it was too late. The guys had seen me and were flagging me over with a green flashlight (seriously?? who carries a green flashlight?!). I pull up to them and they come up the driver's side window. I'm sure you can guess where this is headed.... it's two SF's (Security Forces). They ask for my license and what to know what I'm doing. I explain we're just trying to take the kids trick-or-treating. I get yelled at about not having the kids buckled, ect. Then they ask who my sponsor is (if you aren't a military member or dependant of said military member, you must be escorted on base and accompanied at all times by a military member or dependant). NONE of the women in the vehicle will say that they 'sponsor' me and are allowing me to be on base!! Bunch of bitches. So I say 'I guess he's bask at her house' (pointing to one of the women that's with me). They take my license and tell me to go home and get him. All of the women and children were forced to get out and stand on the side of the road.


All alone, and new on base, I try to make my way back to said girl's house, PRAYING the guys were back from paintball. They were. I walk into the house and find James on a couch. I announce
"You need to come with me right now. I've been arrested by SF and everyone else is in custody."

James says: "NO WAY!!"

See, as a sponsor you are responsible for allll of the actions of the person with you. If they get in trouble, your commander can hear about you can get in trouble to include letters of counseling, reprimand, ect. in your file, loosing a stripe/pay grade... it's nothing to be messed with. None of the women wanted their husbands to get in trouble so they refused to say they were my sponsor. They were just as guilty, if not more so, as me. THEY knew the rules of base, I didn't. I should have assumed the same rules applied on base (actually there's more) than off base.

James comes with me back out there. He talks to the police and I wait patiently in the truck. Needless to say, I was very embarrassed. I had JUST met this guy and here, I'm about to get him in MAJOR trouble with his job. DOH!!

Turns out, the police were pissed at the women! They couldn't believe they were sooo selfish as to 'disown' me (when I didn't know any better) and through me to the wolves, just to try to cover their own asses. So they let me and James go and gave all the other women tickets! PER CHILD! LOL So if they had 2 kids, they got 2 tickets.

James later admitted (like years later), that had he gotten into trouble, it probably would have been the end of us and he would have taken me to the air port 2 weeks later, happy to see me leave.

So, lesson learned: Don't be selfish to try to CYA, it wont always work. Oh, and don't let people ride in the bed of your truck. It's just as illegal on base as it is off!!

'Welcome'

Ok, for those of you who don't know me.......... here's the 'back ground'.

Meeting my husband:
I was getting ready to go into the Air Force and turn 21. I was planning a big 21st. birthday bash. A friend of mine 'Denny' (I met while working security years prior) wanted to come up and celebrate with me. He was stationed at Warner Robins AFB, in GA. He came up, the night went great. We bar hoped and landed at a strip club in central WI (where I lived at the time). At bar time (2am WI time, so 3am GA time) we left. My cousin L was our DD, Denny and I were drunk. Denny was in the back seat, my upfront. Denny was feeling up my cousin from the back seat (lol and ewww all at the same time). I stole Denny's phone and said 'lets call a friend of yours' (who doesn't love drunk dialing at 3am?!?!). He told me he didn't have any friends. I scrolled through his phone saying 'everyone has friends' and landed on James. Denny said 'he's pretty cute.' So I gave him a call. This guy picked up the other end!! It was 3 in the freakin' morning on a Friday!! He had just gotten off work and answered the phone because he knew Denny was going up to 'some girl's' birthday party and he thought Denny had gotten arrested (seriously?? Denny was really lame and quiet... he'd never get arrested, EVER). Well, we chatted (yes, me being drunk) until 6am. He gave me his number and told me to call him the next day (so Friday) when I sobered up, if I even remembered. Well, I did. I had to take L to the hospital for an out patient thing and while I was waiting for her to get out, I called him.... and he answered again!!

I had some vacation time coming up (I worked a very high stress job and you could only work so many days a week, but that's another story). He told me I should come down there for a visit. Less than 2 weeks later I was on a plane to Georgia.

I stayed in GA for 2 weeks and we got on great. We had soooooo much fun. Actually, I almost got him arrested my first night on base (again, another story). James asked me if I would move to GA to be with him. I flew home on a Friday, packed my bags on Saturday, and was back in GA by Sunday. My family was pretty upset about it, but so it goes.

We were married just a month later on December 21, 2004. It was VERY fast, as I soon learned most military relationships are. I wonder if that's why the divorce rate is so high??

Just a few weeks later in January of 2006, James deployed to Iraq.......... and that leads into another story "Honey, I'm deploying to Iraq"