Wednesday, September 30, 2009

I Found a Lump

To continue on with the crazy week I had...................

We all know I had an issue with skin cancer (which by the way has all been cleared up and I'm going to be fine). My close friends here are aware of it all. My friend Jason calls me up on Monday night. He says he woke up last week and did the 'man scratch' (you know when the scratch their balls in the morning?) and he felt a lump. I was like 'On your balls?!?!?' He said no, it was lower like on the taint (I have nooo idea how to spell that, and gross!!). He went to the doctor on Monday and they did blood work. His white blood cell count came back elevated (I don't know how elevated like if it's in the cancer range or I may have a cold, or infection, or nothing big range). They did an ultrasound on the lump and said it looks like a tumor or mass.

He called me up scared and nervous. I understand that. It's the not knowing that's the worst. It's scary not knowing what's going on or what's going to happen to you. When you know what's going on, you know ho to treat it, how to handle it. You can get over the initial shock of things, put on your brave face, and do what you need to do.

So on Tuesday night he goes to pee and can't. He starts to vomit and goes in to the ER. The inject some dye and do another ultrasound on his bladder. They find several more lumps around his bladder, that look like the lump under his junk.

In my heart I want to think that everything will be just fine, but in my head I understand that it may not be. Turns out he has an appointment with Oncology at the hospital on Monday. They don't send you to Oncology unless they think that you have cancer. :( He is all kinds of torn up about it and scared (and rightfully so). He doesn't have a lot of people that he's super close to up here because he's quiet and keeps to himself. He's a really great guy with a huge heart, so isn't this fitting? Doesn't that bad stuff always happen to the good guys? I know he'll be ok, but my heart goes out to him as he struggles with how to handle the news and all the up coming doctor appts.

Either way it goes, I get it. I've been there. I've had pre-cancer tissue removed from inside my head, I have a tumor in one of my sinuses (they can't remove it), and my mom has had lots of bouts with cancer (including lots of different treatments). I'll be here waiting for the news, good or bad.

He also doesn't want to tell anyone in the shop because he is supposed to deploy in February. If he ends up on a profile he wont be able to deploy, which he really wants to do. I'll wait until the news and then advice him to make a good choice from there.

I Want to Kill Myself and My Husband is a Pucking Azzhole

Along with Cat, another character I saw this weekend was Rose. Rose is a middle aged, heavy set Asian woman. Last year she found her husband Mark cheating on her (Mark and my husband work together). Rose came home to find her husband in bed with another woman, naked, and banging. She called the other woman 'buffalo' because she was so over weight. Mark was told by his superior officers to stop the behavior immediately and to either work it out with his wife or divorce her. Mark chose divorce, only never really did it. Instead she moved out, then he moved in with her!! She kicked him out and off to Iraq he went. He continued to cheat on her through out his entire deployment.

Rose tried to turn him in again, and again, and again. Problem, the Master Sgt. in the shop was a total LOSER and refused to write up paper work on him (the military has strict rules on cheating, you can lose pay, get kicked out, or even tossed in jail). So he got away with the behavior. The behavior had no consequences, so he kept doing it.

Turns out Buffalo got pg! Now, I was thinking about timing and it doesn't seem to add up. The baby was born in April. He got back from Iraq in Jan/February. It was a 7.5 month deployment. That would have made her pg for 10 - 11 months. So, I'm having a hard time believing it's his, but that's his problem. He seems content with the woman he is with now, but I hate to break it to her, once a cheater always a cheater. Now, I know I know... not always. But in this guy's case, yeah, always. He was cheating on her before he went to Iraq! Rose had hacked into his Myspace account and found e-mails to tons of chicks. Talking about how much fun they've had and nasty pictures being sent to one another (I know this because she showed me and it was pretty gross stuff). Buffalo asked him about it (we forwarded some of the e-mails to her, she had a right to now!!) and he denied it, but the proof is in the pudding baby. It is, what it is.

When I saw her, the first thing she said to me was, 'You'll never guess what the pucking azzhole did Keem! I'm so pucking mad.' (she has a very heavy accent and it's hilarious when she cusses) Rose said that she'd been sooo sick about the entire situation that she'd been sick all the time. She even thought about killing herself. Now, is it just me or does there seem to be an abundance of people trying to commit suicide?? :( She said that she called the shop asking for my phone number and they wouldn't give it out to her (she is a little on the crazy side), so I told her I'd try to stop by her work and check up on her every now and then.

I Tried to Kill Myself and I'm Gay

I said yesterday that I've had quite the week and I ran into a few people that I hadn't seen.

One person I haven't seen in ages (since before Benji was born) is Cat. Cat is married to Randy and they have a son named Aut (not really of course). Their son and K used to play together all the time. Randy went to Iraq last year. Cat is also active duty air force. While in Iraq Cat cheated on him (did I mention there's a lot of cheating in the military??). Cat was pretty open about it, didn't hide it. He spent the night, came over hen lots of people were at her house. It wasn't a secret. I was friends ith Rochelle, whose husband Bill worked ith Randy. Of course when Rochelle found out about it she told her husband. Who turned around and told Randy.

Randy turns it all around and says Cat can't hang out with any of us and it's all our fault (HELLO!! Idiot). She drops off the face of the earth and I don't hear from her. My old roomie Casey was around during all of this and then went home. A few months ago he moves back up here. I was down in Anch. with him back in May and Cat wanted to meet up with him. She shows up and doesn't really say too much to me. What do you say? I didn't know what to say, how she was feeling, ect. I didn't know if she hated me or was mad at me (even though she had no reason to be, but she just kind of disappeared, so who knows). We part ways and I don't hear from her again for a while.

Cat's PCS time is here and she's moving to Montana. She got in her car and headed out on Tuesday. She had a box of Casey's stuff in her garage from last year. He didn't want her to just disappear with it, so he asked her to drop it off at my house, which I had said was fine. I am up in the shower and my cousin, who was still visiting, come up and tells me that Cat is at the door and she wants to wait for me to get out of the shower. I say that's fine and to invite her in.

I dry off and go downstairs to find Cat sitting on my couch. It was weird at first and then things get back to normal. She said she was never mad at me or anything, but was going through some stuff.

Turns out her husband came home and things just got bad. She was REALLY unhappy. At one point she had tried to overdose on medication. She said she was really depressed. Then she went out to the bar one night with Casey back in May/June and things turned around for her.... so she says. She met a woman. Yes, I typed that correct.... a woman. She is now in a relationship with this woman. The other girl is moving out to Montana as soon as Cat gets there and they are going to raise the 3 kids (other woman has a son and daughter) together. The other woman was a military wife. She had a husband that was AD AF (actually worked with Cat). He was supposedly physically and emotionally abusive, so the woman left him. Then started to shaggin' with Cat.

We had a few laughs and joked about Cat being the 'man' in the relationship and who wears the strap on (yeah, Cat wears it). It was good to see her, but I'm not sure how happy she really is. She still seemed sad and lost. I guess only time will tell, but I hope for her son's sake, she doesn't attempt to commit suicide again.

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

You're My Hero...... Kind of

Nothing says military neighborhood like a night in shining armor, coming to the rescue! Ok only kidding about the night in shining armour.

I haven't driven my husband's car in months. Mistake. Ladies, when your husband deploys, start his car often. I'm going to say once a week, probably isn't enough. You should probably drive it at least once a week, and still get oil changes!!

I hop in it and of course it doesn't start.

Problem number two, I don't know how to jump start a car. I understand you need to hook the cables up to the battery, but that's it. I couldn't tell you what color goes on what end. I would probably blow myself and a car, or two, up. So, being the intelligent woman I am, I go ring my neighbor's bell. Braun (enter night in shining armour) says he'll be right out to help. He comes out and I go into my garage to look for cables (we have two sets). I can't find either set in the mess that has become my garage since I moved in a few months ago (trust me, it's bad in there). Braun goes and knocks on Brian's door next door. He comes out to get his cables out of his truck. The first thing I say to him is 'Shut up.' He says 'Oh! The cables are for Kim? In that case, never mind!' and turns around. He was only kidding of course and let us use his cables. After a few minutes Braun gets the car to start up and tells me it will need to run for a bit.

I let it run and then drive it up the street to the BX (it's like a Walmart for military members, only they have better stuff). I shut it off and try to start it again (I want to make sure that it will start up again of course). It doesn't start. I call Braun to tell him I need yet another jump, that I'm stuck up at the BX with the kids. He says he'll be right down (thank you Kim S for donating your hubby!!).

I get some stuff I needed to make soup and call Braun up. He is at the store buying jumper cables. I tell him he's my hero and we get through check out. We get outside and try to figure out a way to get his truck in close enough to jump the car. As he pulls out his cables, I state the obvious.... some day he's going to need a jump and will pull out his cables. He is going to think of and thank the fact that his neighbor is really dumb and doesn't have (errr, can't find) her jumper cables and gets stuck at the store.

I'm Coming Home

It's the phone call you LOVE to get. Very few phone calls involving a deployment/the military are good. None as good as this one. It's the phone call saying your loved one is coming home.

The military made an error in our favor. No, that never happens. They messed up a flight schedule for the guys in TX that are going to Iraq. My husband should be home in around two weeks, instead of three. It's the military so nothing is for sure until it's actually happening, but it's something to hang on to.

You always have a fight before they get home, then some huge fight when they are actually home. It's the stress of the upcoming homecoming and the stress of trying to adjust to married life again. Every one does it, and it's normal. But it still sucks!! This will be our third big homecoming (not counting his R&R from Korea). So we're kind of used to it and getting better at managing the stress of it all. But we're still human and we still fight.

The fighting is all worth it though, to hold them in your arms again.

The short story, Long Time No See




I've had a CRAZY week, as is almost always in the life of a military wife.
The short of it is that I ran into some people I haven't seen in a long time, a friend got bad news, and I saw a family member that I love.

My cousin Jean from WI came up for a visit. I haven't seen her since May, like the rest of my family. She has four boys and a hubby, but only she came up for a visit. It was sooooooooo nice to see her and spend some 'girl' time with her. I also got to get out and visit parts of Alaska I haven't seen in a while.

We went down to Whittier (teeny tiny village), up to Hitcher's (mountain pass), downtown Anchorage, cruised around base, and just had a good time. I feel bad for her though. 1) I was just plain CRANKY! I didn't know why, but turns out I was getting sick! So the first two day she was here I was cranky because I was coming down with something. Then the last three days she was here I was sick and just no fun. She left this am and I'm feeling 100% better tonight, go figure. 2) She was up here without her family and wasn't able to share the journey with her husband and kids. 3) Her mom just died 10 weeks ago (not sure if I wrote about it, but my Aunt Marcy died a few days after Ben got out of the ICU). Even more than that, her mom was here just a day before she died. An Alaskan cruise was her last trip and she loved it here. So when we were in Whittier, we dumped some of Aunt Marcy's ashes in a nice, gorgeous creek. We didn't know it at the time, but Aunt Marcy had been there, just 11 weeks prior. We found a great spot and I think Aunt Marcy will really like it there.


Kayla is finally potty trained. Nothings says you have a newly potty trained toddler than lugging around a potty seat with you where ever you go and stopping to have your toddler pee in a tiny potty chair on the side of a mountain.


Friday, September 18, 2009

Motto: If we didn't do the procedure, you aren't our problem

I will start by saying that I go to the gym about 5 days a week. It allows to me work out the frustrations that go along with being a military wife, but also the wife of a deployed military member. Things like sexual frustration (if you're not the cheating kind), frustration with your children and daughter who constantly says 'No' and 'I miss my daddy!!,' frustration with your husband for not calling or writing. Frustration for being thousands of miles away from family/friends this entire deployment and no one coming to visit you and not being able to afford the $2,000 to fly you and the kids home.

I go to the gym at about the same time every morning. I got to know some of the other regulars over the summer. One 'set' is a couple in their 80's, Kurt and Betty, and their son Kurt (in his 60's I suppose). Kurt Sr. is retired AF and so is Kurt Jr. Kurt Jr. was an officer, not sure about Kurt Sr. Ms. Betty is the cutest old woman I have ever met. She lifts her weights and then walks around the play equipment that is in the center of the building (huge building, in the middle is a playground for kids, a track around it, table to one side, and exercise equipment on the other side). I mean she is just a go getter.

All of that info. is important at some point, I promise.

I have skin cancer. I had the spots removed over 2 weeks ago, at a dermatologist office base. I had five stitches in one arm and three in the other. I was told they would dissolve in two weeks and if not to go in and have them removed.

Two weeks later, they were still in there. Rather than spending more money out of my pocket I called the base and asked if I could go in and have my PCM (primary care manager, AKA doctor)take them out. They said that the surgery center has a walk in wound care clinic and they can remove my stitches, I don't need to wait on an apt with my PCM. SWEET!

I go straight to the hospital and up the elevator to the second floor. I step off the elevator and some place behind me I hear a tiny voice say 'HEY! What are you doing here?!?!' I turn around and there's Ms. Betty!! (aren't you glad I told you who she was?!) She is wearing hospital gowns, but no where near the regular clinic. I ask her what happened and she said that she had her gallbladder taken out the night before (Sunday). I sympathize with her for a minute and tell her I'm there to get my stitches out. She says she needs to talk to someone that works there, that's she's lost. She said they sent her to walk around for a bit and now can't find her room (she was no where near any patient rooms, so I had no idea where she came from). I say, 'well I'm going to the surgery center and I bet that's where you were, since you had surgery. Come with me and we'll get you back to your room.'

We get to the desk and the guys asks how he can help us, I tell him to take care of Ms. Betty first. She explains she doesn't know where her room is and she needs to get back. He says 'do you know where you were? what center you were in?' Now, let me get this straight..... this little old lady says she's LOST and you ask her if you know where she is supposed to be. Uhhhhh, if she knew where she was supposed to be, don't you think she could have followed the signs back there!!! I'm just sayin'. Now I'm getting a litte frustrated with this guy because you can see it is embarrassing her and she needs to rest too. She tells him she was in room 210 and the guy again asks what center. She says she doesn't know, again. At this point, I've had enough and step in. I tell her to go sit down, I'll deal with this Sgt. I say, 'She had SURGERY! we're at the *gasp* surgery center!! How many room 210's do you have?!?! Call back to the clinic behind you!' Does he do that? No. He starts to call all over the hospital and no one has a patient by that name (I would also like to point out, had he called the admissions desk, they could have told this idiot where she belonged). Now I'm really mad. I yell, 'CALL THE DESK BEHIND YOU!! Call the surgery center!' So he does (I could have taken this guy ;) ). A Lt. answers the phone, he asks if they have a pt. Betty X back there. The Lt. says yes, bring her back! (w/o the Sgt. telling the Lt. we had Ms. Betty)

I turn around and say "Betty! How long have you been walking for?!?! They know you're missing!" lol She says it hasn't been that long. This is also the 80 yo woman who walks at least 2 miles every morning... so she was probably gone for a while. She was still embarrassed and even saying 'this is so embarrassing.' So to take her out of the 'I'm old and lost mentality' I told her, 'I'm going to tell Mr. Kurt that I caught you trying to escape! If I hadn't captured you, the jailbird, you were going to make a break for it!!' I get her to laugh and re-assure her it's not a big deal at all (and to be fair, that hospital is very poorly designed and I can never find the clinic I need.... tiny hallways that are hidden behind bathrooms and all kinds of weird crap).

The guy takes her back to her room then comes to get me to remove my stitches. This is the same guy I'm not totally pleased with. We get to the exam room and I tell him what's going on. He says that since I didn't have them done there, a doctor needs to come in and take a look before he can remove them

A Coln. walks in. Here we go. He says hi, asks whats going on. I tell him I need my stitches out. he takes a look and says, these look like dissolvable stitches. Oh really?! I didn't know that, moron. Of course they are dissolve stitches, but have they dissolved?? noooooooooooooooooooo. It's been two week, they said to have them removed so here I am.

"what did you need stitches for?" I got into a knife fight with a Russian mobster, what the hell does the reason matter for? Stop being nosey and take out my stitches. "I have skin cancer" I say. I go on to say that I think the one side is infected. "Why do you think that?" Because I thought it would be fun to say. HELLO!! "It's REALLY bothering me, still sore. Oh and PUSS COMES OUT when you barely brush it." He says "it's probably just skin." Oh really? Because even my 10 year old niece can tell the difference between SKIN and puss.

He cuts out the stitches and goes "OH! You have a very nasty infection in there. There's a roaring monster in there." Really?? Say it isn't so, or that I hadn't just said that. He says I need to make a follow up in a couple days with the doc that did it.

WHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTT?!?!? I'm at the WOUND CLINIC! You are a WOUND DOCTOR!! I am a patient, with a wound. I have a CRAZY idea, how about you treat me!! Ah well, the military didn't do the procedure, so why should we waste our time fixing it?! Oh did I mention that the doc. normally doesn't remove stitches that the NCO's do... and the NCO stood there, in the room, holding this little tool kit for the doctor (and by tool kit I mean a pair of tweezers).

Ahhhh, the glorious life I live as a military wife.

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Mmmmmmmmmmm Doughnuts

(Thanks Scott!)

So, Airmen X was removing a part from a jet. This part is very heavy and can swing out. You are supposed to wear a special helmet when removing this part. (what does this have to do with doughnuts??) This airmen was 'busted' by a safety guy and got into trouble. They told him he had to go and see the commander.

Scott, who is the NCOIC had to take said airmen to see the commander (they went with another NCO also). They knock on the door and walk into the commander's office. Where he sits eating a jelly doughnut. He has them come in and stand there. The commander continues to indulge in this jelly doughnut, spilling crumbs and jelly into his lap.

They tell the commander about the 'infraction' and the guy stops and says "wait a minute, they have helmets? When I was an Airmen, they didn't give us safety helmets to wear!" lol Scott and the other NCO are looking at each other like 'wait a minute! You're supposed to be giving this guy some fantastic ass chewing!'

The commander continue with his doughnut. Then his cell phone rings. He says 'Oh this is a very important phone call, I have to take it.' He starts to talk about fishing. Turns out, it was his brother calling to tell him about some fishing trip he was just on! The commander, while talking about fishing, continues to finish his doughnut and spill crumbs on his dress blues shirt.

Scott ended up leaving with the Airmen and doing the ass chewing on his own. I guess if you ever get into trouble, hope that you get a commander that's really into his doughnut.

Don't Kick the Puppy

We were all sitting by the fire the other night and this story came around, I felt I had to share.

(Thanks Ty)

The Commander was giving a speech at a comm call about moral. He said, "How many of you guys own puppies?" 90% of the people raise their hand. He said "Don't go home and kick the puppy." Everyone looked around confused. He went on to explain. If the commander comes in and says, 'ya know, this place really sucks. You guys suck!' The officers go down the chain and tell the NCOs 'this place sucks, you guys suck.'

The NCO's will go down and tell the airmen 'this place sucks, you guys suck.'

The airmen get the brunt of it and go home in a pissed off mood. He yells at the wife. The wife, in turn, yells at little Johny. Little Johny turns around and kicks the puppy. So if you have a bad attitude at work, it's your fault the puppy gets kicked. Don't kick the puppy!

He went on to ask who has cats? Some people raised their hands. He said "This place sucks!!"

Ahhh, a commander with a sense of humor. :)

Bottom line though, your attitude effects everyone around you. If you are down, it can cause other people to feel down. Chin up.

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

So lets make the world spin!!

Since I will be talking about what the doctor says tomorrow, I thought I should up date.

When called back and offered cash (thanks mom!!), not Tricare, I got in less than 48 hours later.

So it is, 100% about the health insurance. Thanks Uncle Sam for taking care of your military families!! (that was sarcasm)