So, the shit storm around me continues. Sometimes it's great to be sitting in your glass house watching to poo fly around you, but other times you want to reach and pull some one into the safety of your lookout!
I had introduced Petrea and Jason. She was going through a divorce and he was just single (er, um... so I thought). She's one of the nicest people I had ever met and he seemed to be an honest guy (LOL!). I told them to go out and have fun. It turned into more than that and she wasn't interested. She was ok with being 'fuck buddies' if you will. She told him nothing more, he pursued her. He was like 'I love you, I want to merry you. I'll move to Canada with you when I got out of the military.' He was just head over heals about her! She felt guilty because he was such a nice guy and treated her well. So she said 'fine.' (who does that by the way?!?!)
Over the summer they had kind of split and another friend of mine came up. They did everything but have sex. No big deal, they're adults and both single. Fine.
A month ago Petrea and I were out at dinner. Jason was really upset she was out with me, which was strange considering Jason and I were friends and I was obviously friends with her. He was just super upset that we were hanging out (obviously no the first time we'd ever hung out!). Somehow Allison and Jason came up. She said something about them only kissing. I about fell out of my chair laughing. THAT'S why he didn't want us to talk!! He knew it would come up and he had lied to Petrea. I was laughing and tell that is hardly what happened. That I had walked in on them both naked on my couch (don't worry, I got new couches). So I KNEW 100% they didn't just 'kiss once outside'.
She calls and asks him about it and he gets pissed that we were talking about him and then begins to lie. He says that nothing happened, he promises her. That I'm a liar and a bitch (now that's not very nice Jason). I am now just 'done' with him. I CANNOT stand liars. If there's one thing I have zero tolerance for, it's liars. Not only did he lie, but he tried to throw me under a bus... that wasn't even moving! I've known Petrea for years and have no reason to lie to her. She believed me. But more than that you have Allison who says this is what happened and another GF of mine who walked in on them also! So obviously, Petrea knew the truth. She wasn't upset he had messed around with another women, they were broken up (and that night she was out with another guy)!! And she was messing around with other people since she was single. No big deal.
What pissed her off was the lie, which makes sense. He guilt's her into staying with him. He was on his way to Iraq and said he couldn't live with out her, blah, blah, blah. He was going to send her an engagement ring (barf) from Iraq. She went to see him TX after his training, before he got on 'that plane'.
I, on the other hand, was like 'up yours buddy!!' You don't accuse me of stuff (when you are lieing) and have me just be ok with it. I knew if he was willing to lie about something sooooo minor, he was a HUGE liar and lied about other things. I began to think when he went home before he left that he went to see another woman, ect. I had no proof and didn't say anything to Petrea other than he's a liar and I didn't trust him.
She calls me in tears a few nights ago.........................
She was on the web cam with him when her phone rang. She said, 'Hello?' A voice on the other end said, 'Is this Petrea? This is Darcy XXXXXX.' Petrea was just like 'OK'. Darcy goes on to say 'Jason XXXXXX wife.'
Petrea looks at Jason (they were on the web cam together!! OMG what timing!!) gives him the middle finger, and yells 'FUCK YOU ASS HOLE!' and hangs up on him (well, you know what I mean by hang up).
They chatted for almost two hours. Turns out, he was married. I don't mean married and they were separated or going through a divorce. I mean still married as in talked every day, visited each other, said 'I love you,' planned on being with each other, she had no idea he was sleeping with another woman, that kind of still married.
The kicker is Petrea has an STD. She has HPV, which can cause cervical cancer. She's always really careful and Jason knew. They began to have unprotected sex because he begged and begged. She told him the risks..... he basically could never have unprotected sex with another woman. He said they were going to get married, so that didn't matter. But Jason, it's pretty hard to marry a woman when you're still married to someone else!! DUH!
So that poor, poor wife of his now has to go get checked. He may have given her cancer! Petrea felt HORRIBLE! Her husband had cheated on her (as I've talked about) and that's why she's going through a divorce. Petrea would have never, ever, EVER gone near him with a 10 foot pole if she knew he was married.
As it turns out, every.single.thing. Jason had said was a lie. EVERYTHING! Down to the smallest of details. At one point he said he had cancer and was going through all this treatment, even getting out of work!! It was all a lie!! All of it.
There was another guy in the shop that helped carry on the lie, totally disgusting. I know a lot of people cheat in the military, and all over for that matter.... but this...... this is like serial killer, double life kind of crazy. I knew he was a liar, but had noooo idea had bad it really was. P later went to talk to the 'friend' and he said he knew about J still being married and everything. His response was: "every one in the military cheats." REALLY? I wonder if his wife knows that......
Little things keep coming out and she's finding out more and more everyday. He wrote a letter at one point before he left for a mission the other day saying he was going to carry out both relationships and see which one failed first..... niiiiiiiiice!!
I hope that at some point he gets the help he clearly needs, but I doubt he will ever go in. In his mind, he's just a jerk. In my mind, he's a lunatic.
Showing posts with label deployment. Show all posts
Showing posts with label deployment. Show all posts
Sunday, March 7, 2010
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
I Found a Lump
To continue on with the crazy week I had...................
We all know I had an issue with skin cancer (which by the way has all been cleared up and I'm going to be fine). My close friends here are aware of it all. My friend Jason calls me up on Monday night. He says he woke up last week and did the 'man scratch' (you know when the scratch their balls in the morning?) and he felt a lump. I was like 'On your balls?!?!?' He said no, it was lower like on the taint (I have nooo idea how to spell that, and gross!!). He went to the doctor on Monday and they did blood work. His white blood cell count came back elevated (I don't know how elevated like if it's in the cancer range or I may have a cold, or infection, or nothing big range). They did an ultrasound on the lump and said it looks like a tumor or mass.
He called me up scared and nervous. I understand that. It's the not knowing that's the worst. It's scary not knowing what's going on or what's going to happen to you. When you know what's going on, you know ho to treat it, how to handle it. You can get over the initial shock of things, put on your brave face, and do what you need to do.
So on Tuesday night he goes to pee and can't. He starts to vomit and goes in to the ER. The inject some dye and do another ultrasound on his bladder. They find several more lumps around his bladder, that look like the lump under his junk.
In my heart I want to think that everything will be just fine, but in my head I understand that it may not be. Turns out he has an appointment with Oncology at the hospital on Monday. They don't send you to Oncology unless they think that you have cancer. :( He is all kinds of torn up about it and scared (and rightfully so). He doesn't have a lot of people that he's super close to up here because he's quiet and keeps to himself. He's a really great guy with a huge heart, so isn't this fitting? Doesn't that bad stuff always happen to the good guys? I know he'll be ok, but my heart goes out to him as he struggles with how to handle the news and all the up coming doctor appts.
Either way it goes, I get it. I've been there. I've had pre-cancer tissue removed from inside my head, I have a tumor in one of my sinuses (they can't remove it), and my mom has had lots of bouts with cancer (including lots of different treatments). I'll be here waiting for the news, good or bad.
He also doesn't want to tell anyone in the shop because he is supposed to deploy in February. If he ends up on a profile he wont be able to deploy, which he really wants to do. I'll wait until the news and then advice him to make a good choice from there.
We all know I had an issue with skin cancer (which by the way has all been cleared up and I'm going to be fine). My close friends here are aware of it all. My friend Jason calls me up on Monday night. He says he woke up last week and did the 'man scratch' (you know when the scratch their balls in the morning?) and he felt a lump. I was like 'On your balls?!?!?' He said no, it was lower like on the taint (I have nooo idea how to spell that, and gross!!). He went to the doctor on Monday and they did blood work. His white blood cell count came back elevated (I don't know how elevated like if it's in the cancer range or I may have a cold, or infection, or nothing big range). They did an ultrasound on the lump and said it looks like a tumor or mass.
He called me up scared and nervous. I understand that. It's the not knowing that's the worst. It's scary not knowing what's going on or what's going to happen to you. When you know what's going on, you know ho to treat it, how to handle it. You can get over the initial shock of things, put on your brave face, and do what you need to do.
So on Tuesday night he goes to pee and can't. He starts to vomit and goes in to the ER. The inject some dye and do another ultrasound on his bladder. They find several more lumps around his bladder, that look like the lump under his junk.
In my heart I want to think that everything will be just fine, but in my head I understand that it may not be. Turns out he has an appointment with Oncology at the hospital on Monday. They don't send you to Oncology unless they think that you have cancer. :( He is all kinds of torn up about it and scared (and rightfully so). He doesn't have a lot of people that he's super close to up here because he's quiet and keeps to himself. He's a really great guy with a huge heart, so isn't this fitting? Doesn't that bad stuff always happen to the good guys? I know he'll be ok, but my heart goes out to him as he struggles with how to handle the news and all the up coming doctor appts.
Either way it goes, I get it. I've been there. I've had pre-cancer tissue removed from inside my head, I have a tumor in one of my sinuses (they can't remove it), and my mom has had lots of bouts with cancer (including lots of different treatments). I'll be here waiting for the news, good or bad.
He also doesn't want to tell anyone in the shop because he is supposed to deploy in February. If he ends up on a profile he wont be able to deploy, which he really wants to do. I'll wait until the news and then advice him to make a good choice from there.
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
I'm Coming Home
It's the phone call you LOVE to get. Very few phone calls involving a deployment/the military are good. None as good as this one. It's the phone call saying your loved one is coming home.
The military made an error in our favor. No, that never happens. They messed up a flight schedule for the guys in TX that are going to Iraq. My husband should be home in around two weeks, instead of three. It's the military so nothing is for sure until it's actually happening, but it's something to hang on to.
You always have a fight before they get home, then some huge fight when they are actually home. It's the stress of the upcoming homecoming and the stress of trying to adjust to married life again. Every one does it, and it's normal. But it still sucks!! This will be our third big homecoming (not counting his R&R from Korea). So we're kind of used to it and getting better at managing the stress of it all. But we're still human and we still fight.
The fighting is all worth it though, to hold them in your arms again.
The military made an error in our favor. No, that never happens. They messed up a flight schedule for the guys in TX that are going to Iraq. My husband should be home in around two weeks, instead of three. It's the military so nothing is for sure until it's actually happening, but it's something to hang on to.
You always have a fight before they get home, then some huge fight when they are actually home. It's the stress of the upcoming homecoming and the stress of trying to adjust to married life again. Every one does it, and it's normal. But it still sucks!! This will be our third big homecoming (not counting his R&R from Korea). So we're kind of used to it and getting better at managing the stress of it all. But we're still human and we still fight.
The fighting is all worth it though, to hold them in your arms again.
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
You need to call the Red Cross
"Why? It wont do any good." Is the first thought I had when talking to my husband's new 'leader' in the shop.
It started last week when I noticed that a lump on one arm and a spot on the other had grown a bit in the last few months. I went to the doctor yesterday morning and she confirmed what I had thought. That one looked like a basil carcinoma (sp?) and the other looked like a melanoma.
The BCC you just punch out, sew the skin shut, and watch for any more. If you're going to have skin cancer, that's the best kind to have!! If there is such a thing as a 'good' kind of cancer.
The melanoma, not so much. I asked them to remove it yesterday and she wouldn't go near it. She said that it looked bad that they weren't sure how much skin around it would need to be remove also to get a clean border. So I have to go see a dermatologist and have them biopsy it.
I left the office ok. I had prepared myself for what was to come, as you can see what it is by just looking at it. I tried to ready myself for the blow of having it confirmed that it is what you fear. I then tried to call my mom and tell her. I couldn't do it. I managed to squeak out "I'll call you back." and hang up. I haven't had the best of luck in my life. I have had pre-cancer tissue removed from my sinuses, I have tumor still in one of my sinuses, I've had my tonsils out, my appendix out, two emergency c-sections, I just found out that I have arthritis in my knees, and my asthma is getting worse. I have the crappy genetics of this family. My FOUR brothers are all as healthy as can be. My mom has had lots of bouts with different cancers and my dad, skin cancer. So how do you tell them that your baby girl has cancer? Don't I have enough going on in my life?
I call James' shop to let them know. I told them I wasn't sure what kind of help I was looking for because I didn't know how bad, or not so bad things were. I needed to have the biopsy in order to get a grasp on the totality of the circumstance. Was it something they could just remove and I'd be fine?? Would I need chemo in a bottle (it's a lotion that you apply to the skin)? Would I need regular chemotherapy? How bad is this monster? I think it's early enough that it is something we just remove and I'll be fine. But I wont know until we get in there.
His 'boss' told me to call the Red Cross and request James to come home. His tour is up in just 4 weeks anyway, but he needs to be home to support me and hold my hand when I have surgery. It's something that I don't want to go through alone.
But the truth of the matter is, the Red Cross sucks. You have strangers behind a desk making a decision about who stays and who goes. These people don't know you, what you're going through, or you entire situation. They don't know anything about the military. They aren't medical professionals. They are random citizens that volunteer or get paid by the Red Cross to make these choices for other people.
So what do I do when I get the phone call later today that the Red Cross 'doesn't approve it' even though his shop here send him home?? I try to find someone nice enough to watch my kids for me while I go in and have these spots removed. Then, when I get the results I sit alone in my room, crying. I either just got awesome news and I'm grateful it's over for now or I just found out I'm going to need more treatment and sob by myself.
Either way, no one should have to go through this alone. I'm over 4,000 miles away from my family and relying on strangers to help get me through things in life that your family should be there for.
Oh, the glorious life of a military wife.
It started last week when I noticed that a lump on one arm and a spot on the other had grown a bit in the last few months. I went to the doctor yesterday morning and she confirmed what I had thought. That one looked like a basil carcinoma (sp?) and the other looked like a melanoma.
The BCC you just punch out, sew the skin shut, and watch for any more. If you're going to have skin cancer, that's the best kind to have!! If there is such a thing as a 'good' kind of cancer.
The melanoma, not so much. I asked them to remove it yesterday and she wouldn't go near it. She said that it looked bad that they weren't sure how much skin around it would need to be remove also to get a clean border. So I have to go see a dermatologist and have them biopsy it.
I left the office ok. I had prepared myself for what was to come, as you can see what it is by just looking at it. I tried to ready myself for the blow of having it confirmed that it is what you fear. I then tried to call my mom and tell her. I couldn't do it. I managed to squeak out "I'll call you back." and hang up. I haven't had the best of luck in my life. I have had pre-cancer tissue removed from my sinuses, I have tumor still in one of my sinuses, I've had my tonsils out, my appendix out, two emergency c-sections, I just found out that I have arthritis in my knees, and my asthma is getting worse. I have the crappy genetics of this family. My FOUR brothers are all as healthy as can be. My mom has had lots of bouts with different cancers and my dad, skin cancer. So how do you tell them that your baby girl has cancer? Don't I have enough going on in my life?
I call James' shop to let them know. I told them I wasn't sure what kind of help I was looking for because I didn't know how bad, or not so bad things were. I needed to have the biopsy in order to get a grasp on the totality of the circumstance. Was it something they could just remove and I'd be fine?? Would I need chemo in a bottle (it's a lotion that you apply to the skin)? Would I need regular chemotherapy? How bad is this monster? I think it's early enough that it is something we just remove and I'll be fine. But I wont know until we get in there.
His 'boss' told me to call the Red Cross and request James to come home. His tour is up in just 4 weeks anyway, but he needs to be home to support me and hold my hand when I have surgery. It's something that I don't want to go through alone.
But the truth of the matter is, the Red Cross sucks. You have strangers behind a desk making a decision about who stays and who goes. These people don't know you, what you're going through, or you entire situation. They don't know anything about the military. They aren't medical professionals. They are random citizens that volunteer or get paid by the Red Cross to make these choices for other people.
So what do I do when I get the phone call later today that the Red Cross 'doesn't approve it' even though his shop here send him home?? I try to find someone nice enough to watch my kids for me while I go in and have these spots removed. Then, when I get the results I sit alone in my room, crying. I either just got awesome news and I'm grateful it's over for now or I just found out I'm going to need more treatment and sob by myself.
Either way, no one should have to go through this alone. I'm over 4,000 miles away from my family and relying on strangers to help get me through things in life that your family should be there for.
Oh, the glorious life of a military wife.
Sunday, August 16, 2009
Your neighbor is a crazy bitch!!
Living on base has been, well...... an experience. I have never lived on a military base before. It has been wonderful!! I have the best neighbors in the world really, and couldn't have asked to live next to nicer people.
A, D, J, and K are awesome! They are there if you need anything, willing to help out, and they understand. They have been through deployments and they get it. They know what you go through.
When I first moved in my neighbors in D unit were, ummmmmm different. She talked a little smack about the other women (which i let go in one ear and out the other, I like to make my own judgements on people) and her DH said they were 'anti-social.' I live in a cul-da-sac and most of the people in my building and the next one over cookout on the weekends and have a fire in the middle of the court. Everyone brings a dish, hangs out, has a drink or two, and enjoys the very short summer we have.
Well D unit neighbors were crazy. They never came out to hang out (that doesn't make them crazy) and didn't get along with anyone in the court. They called housing to 'report' everyone (except me, I was never reported because they 'liked' me).
"so and so has too much stuff in their yard. So and so has too many cars. So and so makes too much noise."
STUPID complaints. Well people in the next building (A & T in C unit ) have friends in housing. He would tell A&T when they (D unit) called to complain.. which he probably shouldn't do. One day after A&T were made aware of all the stupid complaints, T was outside working on his truck. People in a separate building were PCSing and had a Uhaul in the court. Tony (guy from D Unit, my neighbor) went over and started to yell at the guy!! He was throwing his arms around and just having a temper tantrum. Then the wife of the guy comes out and Tony is yelling at both of them. T (from C Unit) is just laughing, watching this happen. Turns out Tony was pissed that the Uhaul was in the court. HELLOOOOO!! We ALL PCS at some point. You know damn well what they're going through and that it's only going to last a week.
Well, now it's D units turn to PCS. They want to park their semi in front of my house. Which I don't have a problem with. HOWEVER, he's been such a jerk to everyone.... do I pay it back?? A little justice in the cul-da-sac? Well, it never even made it to me.
Tony asked the people next to me in B Unit to move their truck first (then were going to come ask me to move DH's car). They said 'No.' They knew that he'd thrown a fit about a stupid Uhaul, and just said No.
Well the wife of Tony, Maria, comes knocking on my door. Am (from B unit who told them no), HAPPENS to be in my house at the time. Am got the door then took off back to her house. I was like, 'what the hell' and went to the door. There stand Maria, SHAKING she is soooo mad at Am. I about started to laugh right then and there. She goes on to say how Am is such a bitch for not moving their truck and blah blah blah. Now, Maria is being LOUD. I mean, LOUD. It was a nice day so people had their windows open. I was able to get her to move into the street where we stood. She was just going on and on about how Am and her DH are horrible, rotten people. I came to their defence. I said, 'actually Am is a VERY nice person. You're going to hell for having bad thoughts about a nice person.' At this point, I am trying my hardest not to smile and laugh. Then she decided to start in on all of our other neighbors. And she was talking some trash if I've ever heard it........ and waving her arms around and being all dramatic. I've dealt with crazy people because of working in law enforcement, so I just stood there trying not to laugh, listen to her go off. Then she got a bit out of line. I was like 'SHUT UP!! People are going to start coming out of their houses!!' She was being super loud, and windows are open.... and, I have friends there. I knew it was only a matter of time before women started to come out, thinking she was yelling at me, and come to my defense. Well, moments later I see women starting to come out. A (T's wife) comes out and asks if I'm ok. I tell her to go back inside. Then Am comes back out and comes down to us.
Oh man, I wish I had this part on film.... Am walks up to us and is all like 'Hi!' LOL Maria starts turning red and is shaking again she is sooooooo mad!! This woman was soooo strung on Am being the biggest bitch in the world, it was just funny to watch her reaction. Am was polite and calm. Eventually Maria goes away.
They ended up parking the trailer in their driveway and Maria stood out there laughing like she had some how stuck it to the neighborhood, lol. I was outside with A when she was doing this, so we sat there laughing back at them and all A could get out was 'Your neighbor is a crazy bitch!'
I don't mind living next to crazy people, it is usually pretty funny if nothing else.
A, D, J, and K are awesome! They are there if you need anything, willing to help out, and they understand. They have been through deployments and they get it. They know what you go through.
When I first moved in my neighbors in D unit were, ummmmmm different. She talked a little smack about the other women (which i let go in one ear and out the other, I like to make my own judgements on people) and her DH said they were 'anti-social.' I live in a cul-da-sac and most of the people in my building and the next one over cookout on the weekends and have a fire in the middle of the court. Everyone brings a dish, hangs out, has a drink or two, and enjoys the very short summer we have.
Well D unit neighbors were crazy. They never came out to hang out (that doesn't make them crazy) and didn't get along with anyone in the court. They called housing to 'report' everyone (except me, I was never reported because they 'liked' me).
"so and so has too much stuff in their yard. So and so has too many cars. So and so makes too much noise."
STUPID complaints. Well people in the next building (A & T in C unit ) have friends in housing. He would tell A&T when they (D unit) called to complain.. which he probably shouldn't do. One day after A&T were made aware of all the stupid complaints, T was outside working on his truck. People in a separate building were PCSing and had a Uhaul in the court. Tony (guy from D Unit, my neighbor) went over and started to yell at the guy!! He was throwing his arms around and just having a temper tantrum. Then the wife of the guy comes out and Tony is yelling at both of them. T (from C Unit) is just laughing, watching this happen. Turns out Tony was pissed that the Uhaul was in the court. HELLOOOOO!! We ALL PCS at some point. You know damn well what they're going through and that it's only going to last a week.
Well, now it's D units turn to PCS. They want to park their semi in front of my house. Which I don't have a problem with. HOWEVER, he's been such a jerk to everyone.... do I pay it back?? A little justice in the cul-da-sac? Well, it never even made it to me.
Tony asked the people next to me in B Unit to move their truck first (then were going to come ask me to move DH's car). They said 'No.' They knew that he'd thrown a fit about a stupid Uhaul, and just said No.
Well the wife of Tony, Maria, comes knocking on my door. Am (from B unit who told them no), HAPPENS to be in my house at the time. Am got the door then took off back to her house. I was like, 'what the hell' and went to the door. There stand Maria, SHAKING she is soooo mad at Am. I about started to laugh right then and there. She goes on to say how Am is such a bitch for not moving their truck and blah blah blah. Now, Maria is being LOUD. I mean, LOUD. It was a nice day so people had their windows open. I was able to get her to move into the street where we stood. She was just going on and on about how Am and her DH are horrible, rotten people. I came to their defence. I said, 'actually Am is a VERY nice person. You're going to hell for having bad thoughts about a nice person.' At this point, I am trying my hardest not to smile and laugh. Then she decided to start in on all of our other neighbors. And she was talking some trash if I've ever heard it........ and waving her arms around and being all dramatic. I've dealt with crazy people because of working in law enforcement, so I just stood there trying not to laugh, listen to her go off. Then she got a bit out of line. I was like 'SHUT UP!! People are going to start coming out of their houses!!' She was being super loud, and windows are open.... and, I have friends there. I knew it was only a matter of time before women started to come out, thinking she was yelling at me, and come to my defense. Well, moments later I see women starting to come out. A (T's wife) comes out and asks if I'm ok. I tell her to go back inside. Then Am comes back out and comes down to us.
Oh man, I wish I had this part on film.... Am walks up to us and is all like 'Hi!' LOL Maria starts turning red and is shaking again she is sooooooo mad!! This woman was soooo strung on Am being the biggest bitch in the world, it was just funny to watch her reaction. Am was polite and calm. Eventually Maria goes away.
They ended up parking the trailer in their driveway and Maria stood out there laughing like she had some how stuck it to the neighborhood, lol. I was outside with A when she was doing this, so we sat there laughing back at them and all A could get out was 'Your neighbor is a crazy bitch!'
I don't mind living next to crazy people, it is usually pretty funny if nothing else.
Everything is so bitter sweet
My friend Ness' husband is home on R&R. What a wonderful opportunity to get a break from the stress of a deployment for him and his family. However, I've been through R&R during a one year deployment. Those few weeks that you get to see your loved one is the best thing in the world. That one last hug, that one last kiss....... that one last look into their eyes.
It's all drowned in a cloud of knowing. Knowing that in just a few short days it's all going to come to an end again and you'll go through a painful goodbye, once again. Everyday they are home, you dread the day that approaches, all too fast, when they have to leave again.
J is due back from his deployment in just 8 weeks, about 60 days. I can do two months standing on my head, holding both kids. But I know the day he comes home will be bittersweet. You are so amazingly over the moon to see your loved one again, safe on our soil. What you also know, in the back of your mind, is that it wont be your last homecoming. That in the months to come, you'll be saying goodbye, again. I know that in November of next year, my DH could deploy yet again. I know without a doubt that if he is still in the military he will deploy again in the next two years. I know I'll having to say goodbye, yet again.
What do you do when you know you'll have to go through a long, terrifying deployment again?? Take it one day at a time and enjoy every single day you have with them. You try not to take things for granted. We can be in the middle of a giant fight, even when he's deployed, and we still say 'I love you' every time we end a phone call or chat. I know it may be the last time I get to say it and if nothing else, he wont ever have a doubt in his mind how I feel about him.
Even though it is bittersweet, I would give ANYTHING for my husband to have R&R (he doesn't get to come home on a 'break' and I haven't seen him since early March). It may be painful knowing that he has to leave again in a few short days, but those you have together are simply amazing.
Thursday, March 5, 2009
The anatomy of a deployment
Before he leaves: You will have a fight a few days before he leaves. It can be a little one or a big one. This is normal and is a way for both of you to start getting used to being separated and apart from each other. Sometimes you'll be very surprised at what you'll argue over. You push each other away. You know in your heart that he's going to be leaving you soon, but it's like second nature. It's a defense mechanism. You figure maybe if I'm mad at him I wont miss him as much. Not only will you miss him just the same, you'll feel bad for spending time fighting before he leaves. You can't help it though, it's natural.
During the deployment: God has blessed us with an amazing ability to compartmentalize our lives. This will allow him to put you and the family in a little box in his mind and believe it or not - not think of you for a while. This is also a danger. It is a tough balancing act to remember you enough to keep connected yet keep the family out of his mind while on duty.
While he is able to put home in a box and not think about it - after all nothing where he is going will remind him of you. As a wife, you're around the same house, kids, friends, activities, etc. that will constantly remind you of him. You will constantly be reminded that he is not there. You have to plug into a good support group (wives, church, family, etc.). I've found that spending time with other military wives is especially helpful. Those going through a deployment or that have gone through one will be the most helpful. Only they TRULY understand what you're going through. They can lend a good shoulder to cry on, a big hug, and advice when needed
The homecoming: This will be quite a shock for both of you. There is a big readjustment period that takes place. He will come home and expect everyone to be just as he left you. In the mean time you (and the kid/s) will have grown, changed and gotten used to dealing with things without daddy. As he tries to pick up where he left off, you will have thoughts like, "I've been able to do this without you and now you are coming in here and making all the decisions without even asking me." Some wives want to hold on to the things that have been working while he was gone so that the next time he leaves it will be easier. Some wives will be more than happy to throw most of the responsibilities back to him. The kids are used to just mommy, now all the sudden daddy is back and taking up her time and trying to run things. It's rough. As you grow, you also grow apart slightly. So you have to learn to grow back together and re-connect. A deployment can rip marriages apart (I promise that J will call me at some point to tell me that so-and-so is getting a divorce, either during or after the deployment, may even be mine, you can't predict what a deployment will hold for you..... I pray it's not me or on of my friends, but you just never really know).
Fight for your marriage to work. Any marriage is work, a military marriage is 10X that amount.
One of the women from my fertility bg. posted a message like this and I just edited it, to explain a deployment and make it more general and less personal. *Thanks E!*
Day 1 & 2
He's gone. My husband is on his way to a world I know nothing of. I can't even begin to imagine what it will be like over there. The first day or so is the hardest. You're in your home that you share. Everything reminds you of him. You can still smell him and see his things, but you can't feel him. You'd give anything to have that last hug back.
Day 1:
I ended up getting a room on base so that I could spend those last few hours with J. We went out to dinner with some of other people deploying with him and then went back to our room. I got K in her PJs and tucked into bed. Then J came in to say good night to her. It was horrible. I had to leave the room so that K wouldn't see me so upset. He explained to her that he had to go to work and that he wouldn't be there in the morning. That he'd be gone for a very long time, but that he loved her and she needed to help me around the house. She said 'ok, love you!' and went to sleep.
I laid with J out on the sleeper sofa in the hotel room, just holding him. Trying to enjoy every last min. we'd have together. He fell asleep almost right away (it had been a very long night the night before when we said our goodbye's and he finished packing, ect.). I just laid there listening to him breathe, enjoying the last hug. At 1 am I woke him and told it was time for him to go. How horrible to have to tell you DH (dear husband) it's time for them to leave you and know you wont be able to see them for months on end.
He got up, called his shop to have someone come pick him up from the room. He kissed me goodbye and then quietly slipped out the door. He came back a few minutes later to give me another kiss good bye. Then he was gone. I laid alone in a hotel room, next to our new born son, crying.
My husband is an amazing person, doing an amazing job. He serves his country and helps keep millions of people safe at night and ensures their basic rights are never taken away.
I woke up in the morning and fed the baby. K came out shortly after and I watched Dora with her. I got her dressed and packed up the van. We went and got some food and made the long drive home. I made it all morning without a tear. We got home and I opened the front door and just lost it. I knew that my husband wasn't going to come home tonight.
K came up to me when I was crying and said 'Why sad? don't cry mommy, no worry.' She did fine and just said that daddy was at work and went about her day like nothing was different. Someone came to the door and she yelled "Daddy's home!" I had to explain to her again that no, daddy wasn't home and he wouldn't be home for a long time. I talked to another wife "T", via text off and on. She was having a rough first day too (her DH is with mine on this deployment).
I got to talk to J several times throughout the day and that helped to lift my spirit. I made K and myself dinner, then she wanted to take a bath. I got her bath set up and she jumped in. I was laying on the floor playing with B, when I heard K get out of the tub (she normally calls me and asks for my help and a towel). I looked up and saw her standing naked and wet in the hall. She started to cry and said 'Daddy's not home!' I got her a towel and hugged her and said no, daddy's not home. It finally hit her when daddy wasn't home for dinner and then for bath. He's always home in time for a bath.
I put her to bed and crawled into my own bed. It was my first full night at home, alone. I just cried and cried. It's sooooo difficult to deal with the fact that your Dh is soooooo far away and in harms way. It's even worse knowing there is NOTHING you can do or say to change that or help protect them. "T" ended up calling me as she was laying awake too. We just chatted and it took my mind away from things. I was able to fall asleep after our long chat, it was so nice. It was just a great distraction.
Day 2:
Kayla woke up this morning and I sat her down for breakfast. She just sat at the table, looking at her Cheerios crying saying daddy was gone. J called and she got to talk to him for a little bit and it seemed to help her. She went down stairs to play with her toys and has been laughing ever since.
I'm doing great today. I've gotten to talk to J a few times (he's still in the US, doing training before he leaves for over there) and I know he's still safe. I've adjusted to being away from him (this isn't our first rodeo) and spent the morning cleaning and doing laundry.
Our third (his fourth) deployment is now underway.
Sit down and buckle up. Share the journey and the experience with me and thousands of other military wives. Things are going to be scary, lonely, exciting, heartbreaking, and wonderful. Soon the sad stories of cheating, death, injury, family issues, ect. will start (it doesn't take long sadly enough). I seem to know an ever increasing number of wives that are away from the husbands right now and I look forward to hearing their experiences and being able to share them with you, good and bad.
The life of a military wife is a complicated, dynamic one that only other military wives seem to really understand.
Thursday, February 12, 2009
Going Back to Iraq, Again
J called me at 3:30pm yesterday. He said 'they want me to go to Iraq. I leave in 3 weeks'
J went to Iraq in 2003. He went again in 2005. He went to Korea in 2006. Now he can add another Iraq ''notch'' for 2009.
A guy that was supposed to go on the deployment is being kicked out of the military for being a fat lazy a$$. He failed his fitness test FOUR times (so for like a year he couldn't pass). Because 'fatty' is being kicked out of the military, they HAD to fill his spot. It was either J or another guy who JUST got up here like 3 weeks ago. It wouldn't be fair for that other guy to go, so J said he'd go.
The cons:
He'll be away from his family
He'll miss seeing his new born son grow (just like he missed K)
He'll be shot at and could get killed (he could also crash his car any day and be killed here I suppose)
I wont get any sex for 8 months
He'll be away from his family
He'll be away from his family
The Pros:
It helps some one else out
We'll make a LITTLE extra money
This *may* help him get the points he needs to get promoted next year
He wont be gone for 12 months!
I get to go home and see my family
I wont be going through it alone (I love you Ness!)
The irony in this, he left at the exact same point in K's life. He left when she was 2.5 months old. He's going to be leaving when B is 2.5 months old. The good new is, he'll be back for B's first birthday and Christmas!! YAY!
He leaves in just a few weeks (on the 5th of March). In May I'm going to head to the midwest with the kiddos (what an adventure that will be!!). He'd going to try to get out processed by the end of the week, and then take 10 days off to be with us.
As it goes in an active duty military wife's life, things are ever changing. Nothing is set in stone, until it's underway it seems. I know the kids and I will have lots of our own adventures, while J will have lots of his own.
He shouldn't have to go to Russia now in Dec., so that's good. We also wont have to extend out our time here in Alaska!! YAY!!
My good friend 'Ness' (you'll hear about her a lot) back in WI, is going to be on almost the EXACT same timeline as us. Her DH (dear hubby) is heading to TX now for training, and then will be going over seas the same time as my DH. It would be nice if our husbands could hook up with each other while over there, but the sandbox is a BIG place. Ness and her 2 gorgeous daughters (we've decided B is going to marry her youngest, A) are going to hopeful come up here towards the end of July/Aug.
So much weighs heavily on a wife's mind when their husbands are deployed. Are they ok, what are they doing, who are they with, what have the seen, will they be ok when the get back?? The burning question on lots of minds, 'is he cheating?' That ladies and gentle men will be touched on often, as it comes up often. Men/women in the military are no more likely to cheat on their spouses than men/women who stay at home every day. I've seen families ripped apart, hide it, drag through it, and get over it. I've seen wives back home cheat and know of men over there that cheat. But I'll dive into that later.
*women over there cheat too (obviously) and men back home cheat too, I'm just phrasing it as it applies to me and most of my friends, as wives at home*
J went to Iraq in 2003. He went again in 2005. He went to Korea in 2006. Now he can add another Iraq ''notch'' for 2009.
A guy that was supposed to go on the deployment is being kicked out of the military for being a fat lazy a$$. He failed his fitness test FOUR times (so for like a year he couldn't pass). Because 'fatty' is being kicked out of the military, they HAD to fill his spot. It was either J or another guy who JUST got up here like 3 weeks ago. It wouldn't be fair for that other guy to go, so J said he'd go.
The cons:
He'll be away from his family
He'll miss seeing his new born son grow (just like he missed K)
He'll be shot at and could get killed (he could also crash his car any day and be killed here I suppose)
I wont get any sex for 8 months
He'll be away from his family
He'll be away from his family
The Pros:
It helps some one else out
We'll make a LITTLE extra money
This *may* help him get the points he needs to get promoted next year
He wont be gone for 12 months!
I get to go home and see my family
I wont be going through it alone (I love you Ness!)
The irony in this, he left at the exact same point in K's life. He left when she was 2.5 months old. He's going to be leaving when B is 2.5 months old. The good new is, he'll be back for B's first birthday and Christmas!! YAY!
He leaves in just a few weeks (on the 5th of March). In May I'm going to head to the midwest with the kiddos (what an adventure that will be!!). He'd going to try to get out processed by the end of the week, and then take 10 days off to be with us.
As it goes in an active duty military wife's life, things are ever changing. Nothing is set in stone, until it's underway it seems. I know the kids and I will have lots of our own adventures, while J will have lots of his own.
He shouldn't have to go to Russia now in Dec., so that's good. We also wont have to extend out our time here in Alaska!! YAY!!
My good friend 'Ness' (you'll hear about her a lot) back in WI, is going to be on almost the EXACT same timeline as us. Her DH (dear hubby) is heading to TX now for training, and then will be going over seas the same time as my DH. It would be nice if our husbands could hook up with each other while over there, but the sandbox is a BIG place. Ness and her 2 gorgeous daughters (we've decided B is going to marry her youngest, A) are going to hopeful come up here towards the end of July/Aug.
So much weighs heavily on a wife's mind when their husbands are deployed. Are they ok, what are they doing, who are they with, what have the seen, will they be ok when the get back?? The burning question on lots of minds, 'is he cheating?' That ladies and gentle men will be touched on often, as it comes up often. Men/women in the military are no more likely to cheat on their spouses than men/women who stay at home every day. I've seen families ripped apart, hide it, drag through it, and get over it. I've seen wives back home cheat and know of men over there that cheat. But I'll dive into that later.
*women over there cheat too (obviously) and men back home cheat too, I'm just phrasing it as it applies to me and most of my friends, as wives at home*
Friday, February 6, 2009
I want to be able to hold him........ but he's a world away
I belong to a fertility blog group on a different web page. That group is for military spouses. I think that we've all been through deployments and tried to get pg. before a deployment. There seems to be a rather high amount of husbands currently gone.
One spouse today, "C" says:
"Yeah 2 more months, I can't wait!!! I was sad today though, it just feels like it has been forever! I guess it was because I could see him on the web cam and I just wanted to be able to touch him because he seemed so close. The reality is that he is a world away and it sucks. I'm OK with it most of the time but today was hard."
Her husband is due back in 'just' 2 more months. The end of a deployment can't go fast enough. It always seems to drag on and go so slow. It reminded me of how it feels on those days. I hate, hate, hate, HATE that!! It's just horrible. Often times people can use web cams. You can see them and hear them, but you want so badly to be able to touch them and smell them and feel their arms around you. It is wonderful to see them and talk to them, know that they're ok, but there's a part of you that just yearns to be with them. That never goes away. It's on days like those where the web cam is a bit like pouring salt in the wound.
Sometimes you just have to touch the computer screen and day dream of the days you've spent together, praying you'll get to hold each other in your arms again soon................
One spouse today, "C" says:
"Yeah 2 more months, I can't wait!!! I was sad today though, it just feels like it has been forever! I guess it was because I could see him on the web cam and I just wanted to be able to touch him because he seemed so close. The reality is that he is a world away and it sucks. I'm OK with it most of the time but today was hard."
Her husband is due back in 'just' 2 more months. The end of a deployment can't go fast enough. It always seems to drag on and go so slow. It reminded me of how it feels on those days. I hate, hate, hate, HATE that!! It's just horrible. Often times people can use web cams. You can see them and hear them, but you want so badly to be able to touch them and smell them and feel their arms around you. It is wonderful to see them and talk to them, know that they're ok, but there's a part of you that just yearns to be with them. That never goes away. It's on days like those where the web cam is a bit like pouring salt in the wound.
Sometimes you just have to touch the computer screen and day dream of the days you've spent together, praying you'll get to hold each other in your arms again soon................
Thursday, February 5, 2009
I'm Pregnant!! I'm going to Korea......
James and I got back from Texas in March of 2005. In May of 2005, I flew to Wisconsin to plan our reception that was to be later in the fall. We'd decided while he was gone that we really wanted to be together and stay married. So we told our families (I'd actually told mine right away, he hadn't told his) and my parent's planned a gorgeous reception for us.
I got home the first week in June. The first week in July, we found out we were pregnant!!
I was feeling REALLLY sick. I took an HPT and the line was faint, but there, but kind of not. James said 'what does it say'. I said 'I think it says you're going to be a daddy.'
I called the base and the told me to come in for a blood test, so I did. The nurse called me the next day and said, 'Congratulations. You're VERY pregnant.' I didn't know what that meant, nor did I care. I just cried and cried because I was going to be a mommy!!
We went to the doc. at 7 weeks pg. and got an ultrasound..... where we were told it was twins!! GAH! YAY! and oh no!! James got so pale I thought he was going to pass out. We were told one baby was measuring very small and looked very sick. We couldn't get a heartbeat, but were told it was may just be to early or it may be dieing. Then it was 'will both babies die,' 'what will happen to the sick baby if it does die'?? The doc. had lots of answers, but it was def. a wait and see kind of thing.
We came back at 12 weeks for another u/s. There was only one baby. I was sad for the baby that had passed away, but was overjoyed that I still had one healthy baby.
We found out around 20 weeks it was a girl!!
When I was about 7 months pg. James came home and said "sit down." (I have since learned a conversation is only going to go down hill VERY fast from there) J said he was going to be going to Korea for one year, in April of 2006. I was due in March of 2006.
Our gorgeous daughter was born in February of 2006. I ended up with pregnancy induced hypertension. I had to go in twice weekly for non-stress tests (sit in a room, quiet, hooked up to monitors) and a weekly ultrasound. I went in for my stress test and Kayla failed it. Her hear rate wasn't responsive at all. My blood preasure was through the roof. While the doc. is telling me to go to the hospital I mention that I think my water broke. It had. So across the street I go for an emergency c-section.
I got home the first week in June. The first week in July, we found out we were pregnant!!
I was feeling REALLLY sick. I took an HPT and the line was faint, but there, but kind of not. James said 'what does it say'. I said 'I think it says you're going to be a daddy.'
I called the base and the told me to come in for a blood test, so I did. The nurse called me the next day and said, 'Congratulations. You're VERY pregnant.' I didn't know what that meant, nor did I care. I just cried and cried because I was going to be a mommy!!
We went to the doc. at 7 weeks pg. and got an ultrasound..... where we were told it was twins!! GAH! YAY! and oh no!! James got so pale I thought he was going to pass out. We were told one baby was measuring very small and looked very sick. We couldn't get a heartbeat, but were told it was may just be to early or it may be dieing. Then it was 'will both babies die,' 'what will happen to the sick baby if it does die'?? The doc. had lots of answers, but it was def. a wait and see kind of thing.
We came back at 12 weeks for another u/s. There was only one baby. I was sad for the baby that had passed away, but was overjoyed that I still had one healthy baby.
We found out around 20 weeks it was a girl!!
When I was about 7 months pg. James came home and said "sit down." (I have since learned a conversation is only going to go down hill VERY fast from there) J said he was going to be going to Korea for one year, in April of 2006. I was due in March of 2006.
Our gorgeous daughter was born in February of 2006. I ended up with pregnancy induced hypertension. I had to go in twice weekly for non-stress tests (sit in a room, quiet, hooked up to monitors) and a weekly ultrasound. I went in for my stress test and Kayla failed it. Her hear rate wasn't responsive at all. My blood preasure was through the roof. While the doc. is telling me to go to the hospital I mention that I think my water broke. It had. So across the street I go for an emergency c-section.
Just a few months later, James was on his way to Korea. I moved back to WI to be with my family. My mom was battling breast cancer for the second time and had to have a double mastectomy.
I had to help my sick mother, be a mommy to a baby, and try to be a good wife from thousands of miles away. It's a very large role to play. I wonder what it's like to have a 'normal' life....... but for me, I guess this is normal.
Kayla and I had MANY adventures on our own. It was a lot of fun. Other things, not so fun. I had my tonsils out just before J came home and it almost killed me (bleeding issues). J got to come home for a 'mid tour' in October and it was wonderful. We decided we'd start trying for baby #2 while he was home!! Having to say good bye again was REALLY REALLY hard, I wouldn't wish that one any one. He was gone for 6 months, home for 3 weeks, and then we had to say goodbye for another 6 months. It was horrible.
Our marriage saw it's far share of issues while he was gone, but I guess I'll save that for another post.
I had to help my sick mother, be a mommy to a baby, and try to be a good wife from thousands of miles away. It's a very large role to play. I wonder what it's like to have a 'normal' life....... but for me, I guess this is normal.
Kayla and I had MANY adventures on our own. It was a lot of fun. Other things, not so fun. I had my tonsils out just before J came home and it almost killed me (bleeding issues). J got to come home for a 'mid tour' in October and it was wonderful. We decided we'd start trying for baby #2 while he was home!! Having to say good bye again was REALLY REALLY hard, I wouldn't wish that one any one. He was gone for 6 months, home for 3 weeks, and then we had to say goodbye for another 6 months. It was horrible.
Our marriage saw it's far share of issues while he was gone, but I guess I'll save that for another post.
Honey, I'm deploying to Iraq
James and I had been dating for oh, I don't know.... a month! He comes home and says 'Honey, I'm deploying to Iraq.' I knew before agreeing to move in with him he would be deploying at some point. We just didn't realize it would be so soon. He had just gotten home from a 9 month tour in May of 2004, it was only November.
In December we find out it's going to be in January of 2005. We decide to get married before he leaves. More so that if anything happened to him I'd be made aware of it, I could pay his bills while he was over there, I'd have insurance, ect. Our plan was to get married, not tell any one, and just see how it went when he got back.
On December 21st, 2004 we got married. The first week in January, James left for Iraq. He was to do 2 months of training in Texas and then 9 months over in Iraq.
Soon after he left, I discovered I was pg!! I later miscarried that baby, while he was still in Texas.
I cried every single night that he was gone. I went out with friend every day and still, I cried. It just never got easier. And he wasn't even over seas yet!! He was still in the states! How was I going to get through 9 months of him getting shot at??
Right before they were supposed to leave they were told they'd get one weekend of 'leave.' I asked another girlfriend from the shop if she wanted to drive out to TX with me and visit the guys. She cried and said yes!! YAY!!
Soon after, we were on our way to TX. What an adventure that was. We stopped at gas station casinos on the way out there (they have casinos in gas stations down south!! Go figure!). It was awesome! The guys got leave and it was wonderful to see them. It had been 8 weeks since we'd seen them.
We were set to leave on that Monday I believe. We found out over that weekend that the guys were getting the following weekend off too!! We both called our jobs and said we had to stay longer to see our men one last time. We spent the week shopping and site seeing. We went to the Alamo, the River walk, and all kinds of neat things. I really love San Antonio and it will always hold a special part in my heart. I miss Texas.
On Weds. I get a call from James. A (the girl I was with) and I were out to dinner so I missed the call. The voicemail said 'I'm on my way to the hospital, meet me there'. That was it. Nothing more. I FREAKED OUT!! We were at a hotel just outside the base there in San An. I went over to the hospital ER expecting the worse.
When I got there, he wasn't there. I was able to fill out all the paper work for him and get him checked in.... kind of. I still didn't know what was wrong with him! They were doing training, for all I knew, he'd been shot or stabbed! A few minutes later he was wheeled in on a wheelchair. They thought he broke his foot.
Turns out he tore a bunch of ligaments (or something) in his ankle/foot. So, they wrap him up, send him back to camp, and tell him to come in on Friday.
I go in with him to the hospital. The doc. finds out he's at 'camp' getting ready to deploy. He looks at his foot and says 'You can't deploy. There's no way you can carry your bag or run or anything else.' If I could give that man a hug to this day, I would.
James was going to get to come home with me!! We left that Saturday for GA. It was bittersweet though. My friend's man was still deploying. He was still about to leave. He was going to miss the birth of his daughter. She was going to be alone with her baby for a while before he got home. It broke my heart to watch her suffer, yet inside I was so over joyed that I got to spend the next year with my husband.
It's incredibly hard to watch other wives suffer a pain you know all to well. To go through life's ups and downs all alone...... knowing they miss you as much as you miss them. Military wives share a very special kind of bond, and understanding that only a military wife has.
In December we find out it's going to be in January of 2005. We decide to get married before he leaves. More so that if anything happened to him I'd be made aware of it, I could pay his bills while he was over there, I'd have insurance, ect. Our plan was to get married, not tell any one, and just see how it went when he got back.
On December 21st, 2004 we got married. The first week in January, James left for Iraq. He was to do 2 months of training in Texas and then 9 months over in Iraq.
Soon after he left, I discovered I was pg!! I later miscarried that baby, while he was still in Texas.
I cried every single night that he was gone. I went out with friend every day and still, I cried. It just never got easier. And he wasn't even over seas yet!! He was still in the states! How was I going to get through 9 months of him getting shot at??
Right before they were supposed to leave they were told they'd get one weekend of 'leave.' I asked another girlfriend from the shop if she wanted to drive out to TX with me and visit the guys. She cried and said yes!! YAY!!
Soon after, we were on our way to TX. What an adventure that was. We stopped at gas station casinos on the way out there (they have casinos in gas stations down south!! Go figure!). It was awesome! The guys got leave and it was wonderful to see them. It had been 8 weeks since we'd seen them.
We were set to leave on that Monday I believe. We found out over that weekend that the guys were getting the following weekend off too!! We both called our jobs and said we had to stay longer to see our men one last time. We spent the week shopping and site seeing. We went to the Alamo, the River walk, and all kinds of neat things. I really love San Antonio and it will always hold a special part in my heart. I miss Texas.
On Weds. I get a call from James. A (the girl I was with) and I were out to dinner so I missed the call. The voicemail said 'I'm on my way to the hospital, meet me there'. That was it. Nothing more. I FREAKED OUT!! We were at a hotel just outside the base there in San An. I went over to the hospital ER expecting the worse.
When I got there, he wasn't there. I was able to fill out all the paper work for him and get him checked in.... kind of. I still didn't know what was wrong with him! They were doing training, for all I knew, he'd been shot or stabbed! A few minutes later he was wheeled in on a wheelchair. They thought he broke his foot.
Turns out he tore a bunch of ligaments (or something) in his ankle/foot. So, they wrap him up, send him back to camp, and tell him to come in on Friday.
I go in with him to the hospital. The doc. finds out he's at 'camp' getting ready to deploy. He looks at his foot and says 'You can't deploy. There's no way you can carry your bag or run or anything else.' If I could give that man a hug to this day, I would.
James was going to get to come home with me!! We left that Saturday for GA. It was bittersweet though. My friend's man was still deploying. He was still about to leave. He was going to miss the birth of his daughter. She was going to be alone with her baby for a while before he got home. It broke my heart to watch her suffer, yet inside I was so over joyed that I got to spend the next year with my husband.
It's incredibly hard to watch other wives suffer a pain you know all to well. To go through life's ups and downs all alone...... knowing they miss you as much as you miss them. Military wives share a very special kind of bond, and understanding that only a military wife has.
'Welcome'
Ok, for those of you who don't know me.......... here's the 'back ground'.
Meeting my husband:
I was getting ready to go into the Air Force and turn 21. I was planning a big 21st. birthday bash. A friend of mine 'Denny' (I met while working security years prior) wanted to come up and celebrate with me. He was stationed at Warner Robins AFB, in GA. He came up, the night went great. We bar hoped and landed at a strip club in central WI (where I lived at the time). At bar time (2am WI time, so 3am GA time) we left. My cousin L was our DD, Denny and I were drunk. Denny was in the back seat, my upfront. Denny was feeling up my cousin from the back seat (lol and ewww all at the same time). I stole Denny's phone and said 'lets call a friend of yours' (who doesn't love drunk dialing at 3am?!?!). He told me he didn't have any friends. I scrolled through his phone saying 'everyone has friends' and landed on James. Denny said 'he's pretty cute.' So I gave him a call. This guy picked up the other end!! It was 3 in the freakin' morning on a Friday!! He had just gotten off work and answered the phone because he knew Denny was going up to 'some girl's' birthday party and he thought Denny had gotten arrested (seriously?? Denny was really lame and quiet... he'd never get arrested, EVER). Well, we chatted (yes, me being drunk) until 6am. He gave me his number and told me to call him the next day (so Friday) when I sobered up, if I even remembered. Well, I did. I had to take L to the hospital for an out patient thing and while I was waiting for her to get out, I called him.... and he answered again!!
I had some vacation time coming up (I worked a very high stress job and you could only work so many days a week, but that's another story). He told me I should come down there for a visit. Less than 2 weeks later I was on a plane to Georgia.
I stayed in GA for 2 weeks and we got on great. We had soooooo much fun. Actually, I almost got him arrested my first night on base (again, another story). James asked me if I would move to GA to be with him. I flew home on a Friday, packed my bags on Saturday, and was back in GA by Sunday. My family was pretty upset about it, but so it goes.
We were married just a month later on December 21, 2004. It was VERY fast, as I soon learned most military relationships are. I wonder if that's why the divorce rate is so high??
Just a few weeks later in January of 2006, James deployed to Iraq.......... and that leads into another story "Honey, I'm deploying to Iraq"
Meeting my husband:
I was getting ready to go into the Air Force and turn 21. I was planning a big 21st. birthday bash. A friend of mine 'Denny' (I met while working security years prior) wanted to come up and celebrate with me. He was stationed at Warner Robins AFB, in GA. He came up, the night went great. We bar hoped and landed at a strip club in central WI (where I lived at the time). At bar time (2am WI time, so 3am GA time) we left. My cousin L was our DD, Denny and I were drunk. Denny was in the back seat, my upfront. Denny was feeling up my cousin from the back seat (lol and ewww all at the same time). I stole Denny's phone and said 'lets call a friend of yours' (who doesn't love drunk dialing at 3am?!?!). He told me he didn't have any friends. I scrolled through his phone saying 'everyone has friends' and landed on James. Denny said 'he's pretty cute.' So I gave him a call. This guy picked up the other end!! It was 3 in the freakin' morning on a Friday!! He had just gotten off work and answered the phone because he knew Denny was going up to 'some girl's' birthday party and he thought Denny had gotten arrested (seriously?? Denny was really lame and quiet... he'd never get arrested, EVER). Well, we chatted (yes, me being drunk) until 6am. He gave me his number and told me to call him the next day (so Friday) when I sobered up, if I even remembered. Well, I did. I had to take L to the hospital for an out patient thing and while I was waiting for her to get out, I called him.... and he answered again!!
I had some vacation time coming up (I worked a very high stress job and you could only work so many days a week, but that's another story). He told me I should come down there for a visit. Less than 2 weeks later I was on a plane to Georgia.
I stayed in GA for 2 weeks and we got on great. We had soooooo much fun. Actually, I almost got him arrested my first night on base (again, another story). James asked me if I would move to GA to be with him. I flew home on a Friday, packed my bags on Saturday, and was back in GA by Sunday. My family was pretty upset about it, but so it goes.
We were married just a month later on December 21, 2004. It was VERY fast, as I soon learned most military relationships are. I wonder if that's why the divorce rate is so high??
Just a few weeks later in January of 2006, James deployed to Iraq.......... and that leads into another story "Honey, I'm deploying to Iraq"
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