First, I apologize for the lack of posts since James' return, it's been a loooong road..... you'll understand a bit more a little later on.
Ok, now on with it.
A homecoming from a 'long' (I know, there are some MUCH, much longer) is bumpy at best. People can say how perfect theirs ones and how soooo much in love they are and 90% of that is bullshit. They may be really love, but that's about the only part that's the truth about a homecoming.
You are so beyond happy that they are home. It's all you've dreamed about since the day you said goodbye. The problem lies in changes. People change. When you are apart, you often change in somewhat different directions. You get into habits and a set way of life. You do everything on your own and become very self reliant. Then one day, you go from being 'single' to married. Over night.
You get used to doing things YOUR way. You clean the house your way, you do the dishes and laundry your way, you discipline your kids your way. Your life is yours. Then, DH (or DW) comes home. It's hard for him because he's been away for so long and all he wants to do is be a part of the family again. He wants your attention, affection, time, and love. He wants to step in and help with the kids, but doesn't know how. Kids change the most. Being away for anything more than 6 months, they miss a LOT. Kids grow and change so fast, esp. before the teen years. And even the teen years are just change after change.
DH came home late. I left the kids home tucked in bed and had a friend come over to sit while I went and got DH. I picked up DH and was shocked to only see one other wife there for a group of about 8. There was no big homecoming. I met my DH at the bottom of an escalator, gave him a big hug and we went to luggage. There was no parade, there was no welcome party, no cameras, no news stations. We got his bags and 2 guys from his shop showed up. Typically when guys come home, at a minimum their co-workers show to welcome them home. These guys have been through SOOO many deployments now a days, that it's not even a big deal when people return. There are CONSTANTLY people coming and going. It's sad that this war has drug on for soooooo long and the men and women have done sooooo many tours that no ones seems to really care any more.
We came home, did what couples do, and he went to sleep. He was just happy to be home. I laid there next to him, wide awake. I hadn't had any one in my bed in almost 9 months. I was used to sleeping alone. Not only was there now someone in my bed, but I looked at him and didn't know who he was. I kept looking, trying to see if I'd recognize him...... nothing. We'd been apart long enough that I didn't know who he was any more. Nothing was said to hurt me, no one was mad. I couldn't help but lay there and think 'Who are you? I don't know you.' the first few nights after that, I asked him to sleep on the couch. There wasn't any fighting or being mad, I just couldn't get to sleep because I couldn't get over this feeling of a stranger laying next to me.
As the days went on, we settled back into our routine. We adjusted and became a family again. The first few days James went back to work, Kayla cried. While he was deployed we told her daddy was at work, because well, he was. So when he would leave she would ask where daddy went. I told her he'd gone to work. The tears would start to roll down her cheeks and she'd cry to me, 'NO! I don't want daddy to go to work because he not come home!' She was heartbroken at the thought of daddy leaving again and not coming home. I had to keep telling her daddy would be home before dinner and in time bed. She didn't believe and would sit and cry. After a week she got that daddy was coming home every day and life moved on with her.
Ben would just look at him. It was just mom and sister before. Now there's this other person. Is he good, bad? Luckily Ben adjusts well to new people and did just fine. James had missed most of his first year.
All in all this was the smoothest adjustment. After a few weeks home we all went on a vacation to the lower 48. We spent most of it in sunny FL and it was so nice to see the sun and the sand! i suppose with this being our third homecoming in just 5 years, you're bound to get good at it.
The general public doesn't understand how complex a homecoming is and what the families go through. A lot of people think, oh the family is whole again! They can be a big happy family now! I can assure you, this is almost never the case. There is usually at least one large fight and rocky times. It's a very rough road at first and some couples don't even make it through. Sometimes being apart for a year is just too much. People grow and change. Often, in different directions.
Showing posts with label Iraq. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Iraq. Show all posts
Sunday, March 7, 2010
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
I Tried to Kill Myself and I'm Gay
I said yesterday that I've had quite the week and I ran into a few people that I hadn't seen.
One person I haven't seen in ages (since before Benji was born) is Cat. Cat is married to Randy and they have a son named Aut (not really of course). Their son and K used to play together all the time. Randy went to Iraq last year. Cat is also active duty air force. While in Iraq Cat cheated on him (did I mention there's a lot of cheating in the military??). Cat was pretty open about it, didn't hide it. He spent the night, came over hen lots of people were at her house. It wasn't a secret. I was friends ith Rochelle, whose husband Bill worked ith Randy. Of course when Rochelle found out about it she told her husband. Who turned around and told Randy.
Randy turns it all around and says Cat can't hang out with any of us and it's all our fault (HELLO!! Idiot). She drops off the face of the earth and I don't hear from her. My old roomie Casey was around during all of this and then went home. A few months ago he moves back up here. I was down in Anch. with him back in May and Cat wanted to meet up with him. She shows up and doesn't really say too much to me. What do you say? I didn't know what to say, how she was feeling, ect. I didn't know if she hated me or was mad at me (even though she had no reason to be, but she just kind of disappeared, so who knows). We part ways and I don't hear from her again for a while.
Cat's PCS time is here and she's moving to Montana. She got in her car and headed out on Tuesday. She had a box of Casey's stuff in her garage from last year. He didn't want her to just disappear with it, so he asked her to drop it off at my house, which I had said was fine. I am up in the shower and my cousin, who was still visiting, come up and tells me that Cat is at the door and she wants to wait for me to get out of the shower. I say that's fine and to invite her in.
I dry off and go downstairs to find Cat sitting on my couch. It was weird at first and then things get back to normal. She said she was never mad at me or anything, but was going through some stuff.
Turns out her husband came home and things just got bad. She was REALLY unhappy. At one point she had tried to overdose on medication. She said she was really depressed. Then she went out to the bar one night with Casey back in May/June and things turned around for her.... so she says. She met a woman. Yes, I typed that correct.... a woman. She is now in a relationship with this woman. The other girl is moving out to Montana as soon as Cat gets there and they are going to raise the 3 kids (other woman has a son and daughter) together. The other woman was a military wife. She had a husband that was AD AF (actually worked with Cat). He was supposedly physically and emotionally abusive, so the woman left him. Then started to shaggin' with Cat.
We had a few laughs and joked about Cat being the 'man' in the relationship and who wears the strap on (yeah, Cat wears it). It was good to see her, but I'm not sure how happy she really is. She still seemed sad and lost. I guess only time will tell, but I hope for her son's sake, she doesn't attempt to commit suicide again.
One person I haven't seen in ages (since before Benji was born) is Cat. Cat is married to Randy and they have a son named Aut (not really of course). Their son and K used to play together all the time. Randy went to Iraq last year. Cat is also active duty air force. While in Iraq Cat cheated on him (did I mention there's a lot of cheating in the military??). Cat was pretty open about it, didn't hide it. He spent the night, came over hen lots of people were at her house. It wasn't a secret. I was friends ith Rochelle, whose husband Bill worked ith Randy. Of course when Rochelle found out about it she told her husband. Who turned around and told Randy.
Randy turns it all around and says Cat can't hang out with any of us and it's all our fault (HELLO!! Idiot). She drops off the face of the earth and I don't hear from her. My old roomie Casey was around during all of this and then went home. A few months ago he moves back up here. I was down in Anch. with him back in May and Cat wanted to meet up with him. She shows up and doesn't really say too much to me. What do you say? I didn't know what to say, how she was feeling, ect. I didn't know if she hated me or was mad at me (even though she had no reason to be, but she just kind of disappeared, so who knows). We part ways and I don't hear from her again for a while.
Cat's PCS time is here and she's moving to Montana. She got in her car and headed out on Tuesday. She had a box of Casey's stuff in her garage from last year. He didn't want her to just disappear with it, so he asked her to drop it off at my house, which I had said was fine. I am up in the shower and my cousin, who was still visiting, come up and tells me that Cat is at the door and she wants to wait for me to get out of the shower. I say that's fine and to invite her in.
I dry off and go downstairs to find Cat sitting on my couch. It was weird at first and then things get back to normal. She said she was never mad at me or anything, but was going through some stuff.
Turns out her husband came home and things just got bad. She was REALLY unhappy. At one point she had tried to overdose on medication. She said she was really depressed. Then she went out to the bar one night with Casey back in May/June and things turned around for her.... so she says. She met a woman. Yes, I typed that correct.... a woman. She is now in a relationship with this woman. The other girl is moving out to Montana as soon as Cat gets there and they are going to raise the 3 kids (other woman has a son and daughter) together. The other woman was a military wife. She had a husband that was AD AF (actually worked with Cat). He was supposedly physically and emotionally abusive, so the woman left him. Then started to shaggin' with Cat.
We had a few laughs and joked about Cat being the 'man' in the relationship and who wears the strap on (yeah, Cat wears it). It was good to see her, but I'm not sure how happy she really is. She still seemed sad and lost. I guess only time will tell, but I hope for her son's sake, she doesn't attempt to commit suicide again.
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
I'm Coming Home
It's the phone call you LOVE to get. Very few phone calls involving a deployment/the military are good. None as good as this one. It's the phone call saying your loved one is coming home.
The military made an error in our favor. No, that never happens. They messed up a flight schedule for the guys in TX that are going to Iraq. My husband should be home in around two weeks, instead of three. It's the military so nothing is for sure until it's actually happening, but it's something to hang on to.
You always have a fight before they get home, then some huge fight when they are actually home. It's the stress of the upcoming homecoming and the stress of trying to adjust to married life again. Every one does it, and it's normal. But it still sucks!! This will be our third big homecoming (not counting his R&R from Korea). So we're kind of used to it and getting better at managing the stress of it all. But we're still human and we still fight.
The fighting is all worth it though, to hold them in your arms again.
The military made an error in our favor. No, that never happens. They messed up a flight schedule for the guys in TX that are going to Iraq. My husband should be home in around two weeks, instead of three. It's the military so nothing is for sure until it's actually happening, but it's something to hang on to.
You always have a fight before they get home, then some huge fight when they are actually home. It's the stress of the upcoming homecoming and the stress of trying to adjust to married life again. Every one does it, and it's normal. But it still sucks!! This will be our third big homecoming (not counting his R&R from Korea). So we're kind of used to it and getting better at managing the stress of it all. But we're still human and we still fight.
The fighting is all worth it though, to hold them in your arms again.
Sunday, August 16, 2009
Everything is so bitter sweet
My friend Ness' husband is home on R&R. What a wonderful opportunity to get a break from the stress of a deployment for him and his family. However, I've been through R&R during a one year deployment. Those few weeks that you get to see your loved one is the best thing in the world. That one last hug, that one last kiss....... that one last look into their eyes.
It's all drowned in a cloud of knowing. Knowing that in just a few short days it's all going to come to an end again and you'll go through a painful goodbye, once again. Everyday they are home, you dread the day that approaches, all too fast, when they have to leave again.
J is due back from his deployment in just 8 weeks, about 60 days. I can do two months standing on my head, holding both kids. But I know the day he comes home will be bittersweet. You are so amazingly over the moon to see your loved one again, safe on our soil. What you also know, in the back of your mind, is that it wont be your last homecoming. That in the months to come, you'll be saying goodbye, again. I know that in November of next year, my DH could deploy yet again. I know without a doubt that if he is still in the military he will deploy again in the next two years. I know I'll having to say goodbye, yet again.
What do you do when you know you'll have to go through a long, terrifying deployment again?? Take it one day at a time and enjoy every single day you have with them. You try not to take things for granted. We can be in the middle of a giant fight, even when he's deployed, and we still say 'I love you' every time we end a phone call or chat. I know it may be the last time I get to say it and if nothing else, he wont ever have a doubt in his mind how I feel about him.
Even though it is bittersweet, I would give ANYTHING for my husband to have R&R (he doesn't get to come home on a 'break' and I haven't seen him since early March). It may be painful knowing that he has to leave again in a few short days, but those you have together are simply amazing.
Thursday, March 5, 2009
Day 1 & 2
He's gone. My husband is on his way to a world I know nothing of. I can't even begin to imagine what it will be like over there. The first day or so is the hardest. You're in your home that you share. Everything reminds you of him. You can still smell him and see his things, but you can't feel him. You'd give anything to have that last hug back.
Day 1:
I ended up getting a room on base so that I could spend those last few hours with J. We went out to dinner with some of other people deploying with him and then went back to our room. I got K in her PJs and tucked into bed. Then J came in to say good night to her. It was horrible. I had to leave the room so that K wouldn't see me so upset. He explained to her that he had to go to work and that he wouldn't be there in the morning. That he'd be gone for a very long time, but that he loved her and she needed to help me around the house. She said 'ok, love you!' and went to sleep.
I laid with J out on the sleeper sofa in the hotel room, just holding him. Trying to enjoy every last min. we'd have together. He fell asleep almost right away (it had been a very long night the night before when we said our goodbye's and he finished packing, ect.). I just laid there listening to him breathe, enjoying the last hug. At 1 am I woke him and told it was time for him to go. How horrible to have to tell you DH (dear husband) it's time for them to leave you and know you wont be able to see them for months on end.
He got up, called his shop to have someone come pick him up from the room. He kissed me goodbye and then quietly slipped out the door. He came back a few minutes later to give me another kiss good bye. Then he was gone. I laid alone in a hotel room, next to our new born son, crying.
My husband is an amazing person, doing an amazing job. He serves his country and helps keep millions of people safe at night and ensures their basic rights are never taken away.
I woke up in the morning and fed the baby. K came out shortly after and I watched Dora with her. I got her dressed and packed up the van. We went and got some food and made the long drive home. I made it all morning without a tear. We got home and I opened the front door and just lost it. I knew that my husband wasn't going to come home tonight.
K came up to me when I was crying and said 'Why sad? don't cry mommy, no worry.' She did fine and just said that daddy was at work and went about her day like nothing was different. Someone came to the door and she yelled "Daddy's home!" I had to explain to her again that no, daddy wasn't home and he wouldn't be home for a long time. I talked to another wife "T", via text off and on. She was having a rough first day too (her DH is with mine on this deployment).
I got to talk to J several times throughout the day and that helped to lift my spirit. I made K and myself dinner, then she wanted to take a bath. I got her bath set up and she jumped in. I was laying on the floor playing with B, when I heard K get out of the tub (she normally calls me and asks for my help and a towel). I looked up and saw her standing naked and wet in the hall. She started to cry and said 'Daddy's not home!' I got her a towel and hugged her and said no, daddy's not home. It finally hit her when daddy wasn't home for dinner and then for bath. He's always home in time for a bath.
I put her to bed and crawled into my own bed. It was my first full night at home, alone. I just cried and cried. It's sooooo difficult to deal with the fact that your Dh is soooooo far away and in harms way. It's even worse knowing there is NOTHING you can do or say to change that or help protect them. "T" ended up calling me as she was laying awake too. We just chatted and it took my mind away from things. I was able to fall asleep after our long chat, it was so nice. It was just a great distraction.
Day 2:
Kayla woke up this morning and I sat her down for breakfast. She just sat at the table, looking at her Cheerios crying saying daddy was gone. J called and she got to talk to him for a little bit and it seemed to help her. She went down stairs to play with her toys and has been laughing ever since.
I'm doing great today. I've gotten to talk to J a few times (he's still in the US, doing training before he leaves for over there) and I know he's still safe. I've adjusted to being away from him (this isn't our first rodeo) and spent the morning cleaning and doing laundry.
Our third (his fourth) deployment is now underway.
Sit down and buckle up. Share the journey and the experience with me and thousands of other military wives. Things are going to be scary, lonely, exciting, heartbreaking, and wonderful. Soon the sad stories of cheating, death, injury, family issues, ect. will start (it doesn't take long sadly enough). I seem to know an ever increasing number of wives that are away from the husbands right now and I look forward to hearing their experiences and being able to share them with you, good and bad.
The life of a military wife is a complicated, dynamic one that only other military wives seem to really understand.
Thursday, February 12, 2009
Going Back to Iraq, Again
J called me at 3:30pm yesterday. He said 'they want me to go to Iraq. I leave in 3 weeks'
J went to Iraq in 2003. He went again in 2005. He went to Korea in 2006. Now he can add another Iraq ''notch'' for 2009.
A guy that was supposed to go on the deployment is being kicked out of the military for being a fat lazy a$$. He failed his fitness test FOUR times (so for like a year he couldn't pass). Because 'fatty' is being kicked out of the military, they HAD to fill his spot. It was either J or another guy who JUST got up here like 3 weeks ago. It wouldn't be fair for that other guy to go, so J said he'd go.
The cons:
He'll be away from his family
He'll miss seeing his new born son grow (just like he missed K)
He'll be shot at and could get killed (he could also crash his car any day and be killed here I suppose)
I wont get any sex for 8 months
He'll be away from his family
He'll be away from his family
The Pros:
It helps some one else out
We'll make a LITTLE extra money
This *may* help him get the points he needs to get promoted next year
He wont be gone for 12 months!
I get to go home and see my family
I wont be going through it alone (I love you Ness!)
The irony in this, he left at the exact same point in K's life. He left when she was 2.5 months old. He's going to be leaving when B is 2.5 months old. The good new is, he'll be back for B's first birthday and Christmas!! YAY!
He leaves in just a few weeks (on the 5th of March). In May I'm going to head to the midwest with the kiddos (what an adventure that will be!!). He'd going to try to get out processed by the end of the week, and then take 10 days off to be with us.
As it goes in an active duty military wife's life, things are ever changing. Nothing is set in stone, until it's underway it seems. I know the kids and I will have lots of our own adventures, while J will have lots of his own.
He shouldn't have to go to Russia now in Dec., so that's good. We also wont have to extend out our time here in Alaska!! YAY!!
My good friend 'Ness' (you'll hear about her a lot) back in WI, is going to be on almost the EXACT same timeline as us. Her DH (dear hubby) is heading to TX now for training, and then will be going over seas the same time as my DH. It would be nice if our husbands could hook up with each other while over there, but the sandbox is a BIG place. Ness and her 2 gorgeous daughters (we've decided B is going to marry her youngest, A) are going to hopeful come up here towards the end of July/Aug.
So much weighs heavily on a wife's mind when their husbands are deployed. Are they ok, what are they doing, who are they with, what have the seen, will they be ok when the get back?? The burning question on lots of minds, 'is he cheating?' That ladies and gentle men will be touched on often, as it comes up often. Men/women in the military are no more likely to cheat on their spouses than men/women who stay at home every day. I've seen families ripped apart, hide it, drag through it, and get over it. I've seen wives back home cheat and know of men over there that cheat. But I'll dive into that later.
*women over there cheat too (obviously) and men back home cheat too, I'm just phrasing it as it applies to me and most of my friends, as wives at home*
J went to Iraq in 2003. He went again in 2005. He went to Korea in 2006. Now he can add another Iraq ''notch'' for 2009.
A guy that was supposed to go on the deployment is being kicked out of the military for being a fat lazy a$$. He failed his fitness test FOUR times (so for like a year he couldn't pass). Because 'fatty' is being kicked out of the military, they HAD to fill his spot. It was either J or another guy who JUST got up here like 3 weeks ago. It wouldn't be fair for that other guy to go, so J said he'd go.
The cons:
He'll be away from his family
He'll miss seeing his new born son grow (just like he missed K)
He'll be shot at and could get killed (he could also crash his car any day and be killed here I suppose)
I wont get any sex for 8 months
He'll be away from his family
He'll be away from his family
The Pros:
It helps some one else out
We'll make a LITTLE extra money
This *may* help him get the points he needs to get promoted next year
He wont be gone for 12 months!
I get to go home and see my family
I wont be going through it alone (I love you Ness!)
The irony in this, he left at the exact same point in K's life. He left when she was 2.5 months old. He's going to be leaving when B is 2.5 months old. The good new is, he'll be back for B's first birthday and Christmas!! YAY!
He leaves in just a few weeks (on the 5th of March). In May I'm going to head to the midwest with the kiddos (what an adventure that will be!!). He'd going to try to get out processed by the end of the week, and then take 10 days off to be with us.
As it goes in an active duty military wife's life, things are ever changing. Nothing is set in stone, until it's underway it seems. I know the kids and I will have lots of our own adventures, while J will have lots of his own.
He shouldn't have to go to Russia now in Dec., so that's good. We also wont have to extend out our time here in Alaska!! YAY!!
My good friend 'Ness' (you'll hear about her a lot) back in WI, is going to be on almost the EXACT same timeline as us. Her DH (dear hubby) is heading to TX now for training, and then will be going over seas the same time as my DH. It would be nice if our husbands could hook up with each other while over there, but the sandbox is a BIG place. Ness and her 2 gorgeous daughters (we've decided B is going to marry her youngest, A) are going to hopeful come up here towards the end of July/Aug.
So much weighs heavily on a wife's mind when their husbands are deployed. Are they ok, what are they doing, who are they with, what have the seen, will they be ok when the get back?? The burning question on lots of minds, 'is he cheating?' That ladies and gentle men will be touched on often, as it comes up often. Men/women in the military are no more likely to cheat on their spouses than men/women who stay at home every day. I've seen families ripped apart, hide it, drag through it, and get over it. I've seen wives back home cheat and know of men over there that cheat. But I'll dive into that later.
*women over there cheat too (obviously) and men back home cheat too, I'm just phrasing it as it applies to me and most of my friends, as wives at home*
Friday, February 6, 2009
I want to be able to hold him........ but he's a world away
I belong to a fertility blog group on a different web page. That group is for military spouses. I think that we've all been through deployments and tried to get pg. before a deployment. There seems to be a rather high amount of husbands currently gone.
One spouse today, "C" says:
"Yeah 2 more months, I can't wait!!! I was sad today though, it just feels like it has been forever! I guess it was because I could see him on the web cam and I just wanted to be able to touch him because he seemed so close. The reality is that he is a world away and it sucks. I'm OK with it most of the time but today was hard."
Her husband is due back in 'just' 2 more months. The end of a deployment can't go fast enough. It always seems to drag on and go so slow. It reminded me of how it feels on those days. I hate, hate, hate, HATE that!! It's just horrible. Often times people can use web cams. You can see them and hear them, but you want so badly to be able to touch them and smell them and feel their arms around you. It is wonderful to see them and talk to them, know that they're ok, but there's a part of you that just yearns to be with them. That never goes away. It's on days like those where the web cam is a bit like pouring salt in the wound.
Sometimes you just have to touch the computer screen and day dream of the days you've spent together, praying you'll get to hold each other in your arms again soon................
One spouse today, "C" says:
"Yeah 2 more months, I can't wait!!! I was sad today though, it just feels like it has been forever! I guess it was because I could see him on the web cam and I just wanted to be able to touch him because he seemed so close. The reality is that he is a world away and it sucks. I'm OK with it most of the time but today was hard."
Her husband is due back in 'just' 2 more months. The end of a deployment can't go fast enough. It always seems to drag on and go so slow. It reminded me of how it feels on those days. I hate, hate, hate, HATE that!! It's just horrible. Often times people can use web cams. You can see them and hear them, but you want so badly to be able to touch them and smell them and feel their arms around you. It is wonderful to see them and talk to them, know that they're ok, but there's a part of you that just yearns to be with them. That never goes away. It's on days like those where the web cam is a bit like pouring salt in the wound.
Sometimes you just have to touch the computer screen and day dream of the days you've spent together, praying you'll get to hold each other in your arms again soon................
Thursday, February 5, 2009
Honey, I'm deploying to Iraq
James and I had been dating for oh, I don't know.... a month! He comes home and says 'Honey, I'm deploying to Iraq.' I knew before agreeing to move in with him he would be deploying at some point. We just didn't realize it would be so soon. He had just gotten home from a 9 month tour in May of 2004, it was only November.
In December we find out it's going to be in January of 2005. We decide to get married before he leaves. More so that if anything happened to him I'd be made aware of it, I could pay his bills while he was over there, I'd have insurance, ect. Our plan was to get married, not tell any one, and just see how it went when he got back.
On December 21st, 2004 we got married. The first week in January, James left for Iraq. He was to do 2 months of training in Texas and then 9 months over in Iraq.
Soon after he left, I discovered I was pg!! I later miscarried that baby, while he was still in Texas.
I cried every single night that he was gone. I went out with friend every day and still, I cried. It just never got easier. And he wasn't even over seas yet!! He was still in the states! How was I going to get through 9 months of him getting shot at??
Right before they were supposed to leave they were told they'd get one weekend of 'leave.' I asked another girlfriend from the shop if she wanted to drive out to TX with me and visit the guys. She cried and said yes!! YAY!!
Soon after, we were on our way to TX. What an adventure that was. We stopped at gas station casinos on the way out there (they have casinos in gas stations down south!! Go figure!). It was awesome! The guys got leave and it was wonderful to see them. It had been 8 weeks since we'd seen them.
We were set to leave on that Monday I believe. We found out over that weekend that the guys were getting the following weekend off too!! We both called our jobs and said we had to stay longer to see our men one last time. We spent the week shopping and site seeing. We went to the Alamo, the River walk, and all kinds of neat things. I really love San Antonio and it will always hold a special part in my heart. I miss Texas.
On Weds. I get a call from James. A (the girl I was with) and I were out to dinner so I missed the call. The voicemail said 'I'm on my way to the hospital, meet me there'. That was it. Nothing more. I FREAKED OUT!! We were at a hotel just outside the base there in San An. I went over to the hospital ER expecting the worse.
When I got there, he wasn't there. I was able to fill out all the paper work for him and get him checked in.... kind of. I still didn't know what was wrong with him! They were doing training, for all I knew, he'd been shot or stabbed! A few minutes later he was wheeled in on a wheelchair. They thought he broke his foot.
Turns out he tore a bunch of ligaments (or something) in his ankle/foot. So, they wrap him up, send him back to camp, and tell him to come in on Friday.
I go in with him to the hospital. The doc. finds out he's at 'camp' getting ready to deploy. He looks at his foot and says 'You can't deploy. There's no way you can carry your bag or run or anything else.' If I could give that man a hug to this day, I would.
James was going to get to come home with me!! We left that Saturday for GA. It was bittersweet though. My friend's man was still deploying. He was still about to leave. He was going to miss the birth of his daughter. She was going to be alone with her baby for a while before he got home. It broke my heart to watch her suffer, yet inside I was so over joyed that I got to spend the next year with my husband.
It's incredibly hard to watch other wives suffer a pain you know all to well. To go through life's ups and downs all alone...... knowing they miss you as much as you miss them. Military wives share a very special kind of bond, and understanding that only a military wife has.
In December we find out it's going to be in January of 2005. We decide to get married before he leaves. More so that if anything happened to him I'd be made aware of it, I could pay his bills while he was over there, I'd have insurance, ect. Our plan was to get married, not tell any one, and just see how it went when he got back.
On December 21st, 2004 we got married. The first week in January, James left for Iraq. He was to do 2 months of training in Texas and then 9 months over in Iraq.
Soon after he left, I discovered I was pg!! I later miscarried that baby, while he was still in Texas.
I cried every single night that he was gone. I went out with friend every day and still, I cried. It just never got easier. And he wasn't even over seas yet!! He was still in the states! How was I going to get through 9 months of him getting shot at??
Right before they were supposed to leave they were told they'd get one weekend of 'leave.' I asked another girlfriend from the shop if she wanted to drive out to TX with me and visit the guys. She cried and said yes!! YAY!!
Soon after, we were on our way to TX. What an adventure that was. We stopped at gas station casinos on the way out there (they have casinos in gas stations down south!! Go figure!). It was awesome! The guys got leave and it was wonderful to see them. It had been 8 weeks since we'd seen them.
We were set to leave on that Monday I believe. We found out over that weekend that the guys were getting the following weekend off too!! We both called our jobs and said we had to stay longer to see our men one last time. We spent the week shopping and site seeing. We went to the Alamo, the River walk, and all kinds of neat things. I really love San Antonio and it will always hold a special part in my heart. I miss Texas.
On Weds. I get a call from James. A (the girl I was with) and I were out to dinner so I missed the call. The voicemail said 'I'm on my way to the hospital, meet me there'. That was it. Nothing more. I FREAKED OUT!! We were at a hotel just outside the base there in San An. I went over to the hospital ER expecting the worse.
When I got there, he wasn't there. I was able to fill out all the paper work for him and get him checked in.... kind of. I still didn't know what was wrong with him! They were doing training, for all I knew, he'd been shot or stabbed! A few minutes later he was wheeled in on a wheelchair. They thought he broke his foot.
Turns out he tore a bunch of ligaments (or something) in his ankle/foot. So, they wrap him up, send him back to camp, and tell him to come in on Friday.
I go in with him to the hospital. The doc. finds out he's at 'camp' getting ready to deploy. He looks at his foot and says 'You can't deploy. There's no way you can carry your bag or run or anything else.' If I could give that man a hug to this day, I would.
James was going to get to come home with me!! We left that Saturday for GA. It was bittersweet though. My friend's man was still deploying. He was still about to leave. He was going to miss the birth of his daughter. She was going to be alone with her baby for a while before he got home. It broke my heart to watch her suffer, yet inside I was so over joyed that I got to spend the next year with my husband.
It's incredibly hard to watch other wives suffer a pain you know all to well. To go through life's ups and downs all alone...... knowing they miss you as much as you miss them. Military wives share a very special kind of bond, and understanding that only a military wife has.
'Welcome'
Ok, for those of you who don't know me.......... here's the 'back ground'.
Meeting my husband:
I was getting ready to go into the Air Force and turn 21. I was planning a big 21st. birthday bash. A friend of mine 'Denny' (I met while working security years prior) wanted to come up and celebrate with me. He was stationed at Warner Robins AFB, in GA. He came up, the night went great. We bar hoped and landed at a strip club in central WI (where I lived at the time). At bar time (2am WI time, so 3am GA time) we left. My cousin L was our DD, Denny and I were drunk. Denny was in the back seat, my upfront. Denny was feeling up my cousin from the back seat (lol and ewww all at the same time). I stole Denny's phone and said 'lets call a friend of yours' (who doesn't love drunk dialing at 3am?!?!). He told me he didn't have any friends. I scrolled through his phone saying 'everyone has friends' and landed on James. Denny said 'he's pretty cute.' So I gave him a call. This guy picked up the other end!! It was 3 in the freakin' morning on a Friday!! He had just gotten off work and answered the phone because he knew Denny was going up to 'some girl's' birthday party and he thought Denny had gotten arrested (seriously?? Denny was really lame and quiet... he'd never get arrested, EVER). Well, we chatted (yes, me being drunk) until 6am. He gave me his number and told me to call him the next day (so Friday) when I sobered up, if I even remembered. Well, I did. I had to take L to the hospital for an out patient thing and while I was waiting for her to get out, I called him.... and he answered again!!
I had some vacation time coming up (I worked a very high stress job and you could only work so many days a week, but that's another story). He told me I should come down there for a visit. Less than 2 weeks later I was on a plane to Georgia.
I stayed in GA for 2 weeks and we got on great. We had soooooo much fun. Actually, I almost got him arrested my first night on base (again, another story). James asked me if I would move to GA to be with him. I flew home on a Friday, packed my bags on Saturday, and was back in GA by Sunday. My family was pretty upset about it, but so it goes.
We were married just a month later on December 21, 2004. It was VERY fast, as I soon learned most military relationships are. I wonder if that's why the divorce rate is so high??
Just a few weeks later in January of 2006, James deployed to Iraq.......... and that leads into another story "Honey, I'm deploying to Iraq"
Meeting my husband:
I was getting ready to go into the Air Force and turn 21. I was planning a big 21st. birthday bash. A friend of mine 'Denny' (I met while working security years prior) wanted to come up and celebrate with me. He was stationed at Warner Robins AFB, in GA. He came up, the night went great. We bar hoped and landed at a strip club in central WI (where I lived at the time). At bar time (2am WI time, so 3am GA time) we left. My cousin L was our DD, Denny and I were drunk. Denny was in the back seat, my upfront. Denny was feeling up my cousin from the back seat (lol and ewww all at the same time). I stole Denny's phone and said 'lets call a friend of yours' (who doesn't love drunk dialing at 3am?!?!). He told me he didn't have any friends. I scrolled through his phone saying 'everyone has friends' and landed on James. Denny said 'he's pretty cute.' So I gave him a call. This guy picked up the other end!! It was 3 in the freakin' morning on a Friday!! He had just gotten off work and answered the phone because he knew Denny was going up to 'some girl's' birthday party and he thought Denny had gotten arrested (seriously?? Denny was really lame and quiet... he'd never get arrested, EVER). Well, we chatted (yes, me being drunk) until 6am. He gave me his number and told me to call him the next day (so Friday) when I sobered up, if I even remembered. Well, I did. I had to take L to the hospital for an out patient thing and while I was waiting for her to get out, I called him.... and he answered again!!
I had some vacation time coming up (I worked a very high stress job and you could only work so many days a week, but that's another story). He told me I should come down there for a visit. Less than 2 weeks later I was on a plane to Georgia.
I stayed in GA for 2 weeks and we got on great. We had soooooo much fun. Actually, I almost got him arrested my first night on base (again, another story). James asked me if I would move to GA to be with him. I flew home on a Friday, packed my bags on Saturday, and was back in GA by Sunday. My family was pretty upset about it, but so it goes.
We were married just a month later on December 21, 2004. It was VERY fast, as I soon learned most military relationships are. I wonder if that's why the divorce rate is so high??
Just a few weeks later in January of 2006, James deployed to Iraq.......... and that leads into another story "Honey, I'm deploying to Iraq"
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