I belong to a fertility blog group on a different web page. That group is for military spouses. I think that we've all been through deployments and tried to get pg. before a deployment. There seems to be a rather high amount of husbands currently gone.
One spouse today, "C" says:
"Yeah 2 more months, I can't wait!!! I was sad today though, it just feels like it has been forever! I guess it was because I could see him on the web cam and I just wanted to be able to touch him because he seemed so close. The reality is that he is a world away and it sucks. I'm OK with it most of the time but today was hard."
Her husband is due back in 'just' 2 more months. The end of a deployment can't go fast enough. It always seems to drag on and go so slow. It reminded me of how it feels on those days. I hate, hate, hate, HATE that!! It's just horrible. Often times people can use web cams. You can see them and hear them, but you want so badly to be able to touch them and smell them and feel their arms around you. It is wonderful to see them and talk to them, know that they're ok, but there's a part of you that just yearns to be with them. That never goes away. It's on days like those where the web cam is a bit like pouring salt in the wound.
Sometimes you just have to touch the computer screen and day dream of the days you've spent together, praying you'll get to hold each other in your arms again soon................
Showing posts with label wife. Show all posts
Showing posts with label wife. Show all posts
Friday, February 6, 2009
Thursday, February 5, 2009
I'm Pregnant!! I'm going to Korea......
James and I got back from Texas in March of 2005. In May of 2005, I flew to Wisconsin to plan our reception that was to be later in the fall. We'd decided while he was gone that we really wanted to be together and stay married. So we told our families (I'd actually told mine right away, he hadn't told his) and my parent's planned a gorgeous reception for us.
I got home the first week in June. The first week in July, we found out we were pregnant!!
I was feeling REALLLY sick. I took an HPT and the line was faint, but there, but kind of not. James said 'what does it say'. I said 'I think it says you're going to be a daddy.'
I called the base and the told me to come in for a blood test, so I did. The nurse called me the next day and said, 'Congratulations. You're VERY pregnant.' I didn't know what that meant, nor did I care. I just cried and cried because I was going to be a mommy!!
We went to the doc. at 7 weeks pg. and got an ultrasound..... where we were told it was twins!! GAH! YAY! and oh no!! James got so pale I thought he was going to pass out. We were told one baby was measuring very small and looked very sick. We couldn't get a heartbeat, but were told it was may just be to early or it may be dieing. Then it was 'will both babies die,' 'what will happen to the sick baby if it does die'?? The doc. had lots of answers, but it was def. a wait and see kind of thing.
We came back at 12 weeks for another u/s. There was only one baby. I was sad for the baby that had passed away, but was overjoyed that I still had one healthy baby.
We found out around 20 weeks it was a girl!!
When I was about 7 months pg. James came home and said "sit down." (I have since learned a conversation is only going to go down hill VERY fast from there) J said he was going to be going to Korea for one year, in April of 2006. I was due in March of 2006.
Our gorgeous daughter was born in February of 2006. I ended up with pregnancy induced hypertension. I had to go in twice weekly for non-stress tests (sit in a room, quiet, hooked up to monitors) and a weekly ultrasound. I went in for my stress test and Kayla failed it. Her hear rate wasn't responsive at all. My blood preasure was through the roof. While the doc. is telling me to go to the hospital I mention that I think my water broke. It had. So across the street I go for an emergency c-section.
I got home the first week in June. The first week in July, we found out we were pregnant!!
I was feeling REALLLY sick. I took an HPT and the line was faint, but there, but kind of not. James said 'what does it say'. I said 'I think it says you're going to be a daddy.'
I called the base and the told me to come in for a blood test, so I did. The nurse called me the next day and said, 'Congratulations. You're VERY pregnant.' I didn't know what that meant, nor did I care. I just cried and cried because I was going to be a mommy!!
We went to the doc. at 7 weeks pg. and got an ultrasound..... where we were told it was twins!! GAH! YAY! and oh no!! James got so pale I thought he was going to pass out. We were told one baby was measuring very small and looked very sick. We couldn't get a heartbeat, but were told it was may just be to early or it may be dieing. Then it was 'will both babies die,' 'what will happen to the sick baby if it does die'?? The doc. had lots of answers, but it was def. a wait and see kind of thing.
We came back at 12 weeks for another u/s. There was only one baby. I was sad for the baby that had passed away, but was overjoyed that I still had one healthy baby.
We found out around 20 weeks it was a girl!!
When I was about 7 months pg. James came home and said "sit down." (I have since learned a conversation is only going to go down hill VERY fast from there) J said he was going to be going to Korea for one year, in April of 2006. I was due in March of 2006.
Our gorgeous daughter was born in February of 2006. I ended up with pregnancy induced hypertension. I had to go in twice weekly for non-stress tests (sit in a room, quiet, hooked up to monitors) and a weekly ultrasound. I went in for my stress test and Kayla failed it. Her hear rate wasn't responsive at all. My blood preasure was through the roof. While the doc. is telling me to go to the hospital I mention that I think my water broke. It had. So across the street I go for an emergency c-section.
Just a few months later, James was on his way to Korea. I moved back to WI to be with my family. My mom was battling breast cancer for the second time and had to have a double mastectomy.
I had to help my sick mother, be a mommy to a baby, and try to be a good wife from thousands of miles away. It's a very large role to play. I wonder what it's like to have a 'normal' life....... but for me, I guess this is normal.
Kayla and I had MANY adventures on our own. It was a lot of fun. Other things, not so fun. I had my tonsils out just before J came home and it almost killed me (bleeding issues). J got to come home for a 'mid tour' in October and it was wonderful. We decided we'd start trying for baby #2 while he was home!! Having to say good bye again was REALLY REALLY hard, I wouldn't wish that one any one. He was gone for 6 months, home for 3 weeks, and then we had to say goodbye for another 6 months. It was horrible.
Our marriage saw it's far share of issues while he was gone, but I guess I'll save that for another post.
I had to help my sick mother, be a mommy to a baby, and try to be a good wife from thousands of miles away. It's a very large role to play. I wonder what it's like to have a 'normal' life....... but for me, I guess this is normal.
Kayla and I had MANY adventures on our own. It was a lot of fun. Other things, not so fun. I had my tonsils out just before J came home and it almost killed me (bleeding issues). J got to come home for a 'mid tour' in October and it was wonderful. We decided we'd start trying for baby #2 while he was home!! Having to say good bye again was REALLY REALLY hard, I wouldn't wish that one any one. He was gone for 6 months, home for 3 weeks, and then we had to say goodbye for another 6 months. It was horrible.
Our marriage saw it's far share of issues while he was gone, but I guess I'll save that for another post.
"I just got arrested!"
My first experience on a military base was a bit less than graceful.
I had gone from security, to working at a police station, to working at an FBI building, to give you a little history. I love law enforcement and miss my old jobs terribly. I had NEVER been arrested before in my life and only had one speeding ticket, back when I was 18.
I went to Georgia to meet James and spend some time with him. I got there the end of October (like the 29th). On the 31st, we decided to go on base (James lived off base, so it was to be my first time going) and hang out with some of his friends. I met a few people and was having a good time. All of the women were going to take the kids trick-or-treating and asked if I wanted to go. I said 'sure'! The boys went paint balling and then came back to his friend's house and played video games.
After trick-or-treating in one neighborhood, we decided to drive around base and go to the 'Officer housing area'. The first mistake of the night.
There were like 5 adults and I don't know how many kids. There were kids riding around on trailer beds and stuff in the one main neighborhood we were at. So we thought it would be ok if we ALL piled into J's truck. Second mistake of the night. There were kids in the bed of the truck, un-belted. Third mistake of the night. (hind sight is 20/20)
Now, the speed limit was like 5 miles an hour on base, other people were doing it, and there were sooo many people out, you had to go slow to be safe anyway.
We pull into the officer's housing area and there's no one around. I thought it was weird. Before I knew it, we were lost in a sea of cookie-cutter houses. I see some guys in uniform walking on the side of the road. I say 'We'll ask these guys where to go' and begin to pull over. The other girls start shouting 'Nooooooo.' But it was too late. The guys had seen me and were flagging me over with a green flashlight (seriously?? who carries a green flashlight?!). I pull up to them and they come up the driver's side window. I'm sure you can guess where this is headed.... it's two SF's (Security Forces). They ask for my license and what to know what I'm doing. I explain we're just trying to take the kids trick-or-treating. I get yelled at about not having the kids buckled, ect. Then they ask who my sponsor is (if you aren't a military member or dependant of said military member, you must be escorted on base and accompanied at all times by a military member or dependant). NONE of the women in the vehicle will say that they 'sponsor' me and are allowing me to be on base!! Bunch of bitches. So I say 'I guess he's bask at her house' (pointing to one of the women that's with me). They take my license and tell me to go home and get him. All of the women and children were forced to get out and stand on the side of the road.
All alone, and new on base, I try to make my way back to said girl's house, PRAYING the guys were back from paintball. They were. I walk into the house and find James on a couch. I announce
"You need to come with me right now. I've been arrested by SF and everyone else is in custody."
James says: "NO WAY!!"
See, as a sponsor you are responsible for allll of the actions of the person with you. If they get in trouble, your commander can hear about you can get in trouble to include letters of counseling, reprimand, ect. in your file, loosing a stripe/pay grade... it's nothing to be messed with. None of the women wanted their husbands to get in trouble so they refused to say they were my sponsor. They were just as guilty, if not more so, as me. THEY knew the rules of base, I didn't. I should have assumed the same rules applied on base (actually there's more) than off base.
James comes with me back out there. He talks to the police and I wait patiently in the truck. Needless to say, I was very embarrassed. I had JUST met this guy and here, I'm about to get him in MAJOR trouble with his job. DOH!!
Turns out, the police were pissed at the women! They couldn't believe they were sooo selfish as to 'disown' me (when I didn't know any better) and through me to the wolves, just to try to cover their own asses. So they let me and James go and gave all the other women tickets! PER CHILD! LOL So if they had 2 kids, they got 2 tickets.
James later admitted (like years later), that had he gotten into trouble, it probably would have been the end of us and he would have taken me to the air port 2 weeks later, happy to see me leave.
So, lesson learned: Don't be selfish to try to CYA, it wont always work. Oh, and don't let people ride in the bed of your truck. It's just as illegal on base as it is off!!
I had gone from security, to working at a police station, to working at an FBI building, to give you a little history. I love law enforcement and miss my old jobs terribly. I had NEVER been arrested before in my life and only had one speeding ticket, back when I was 18.
I went to Georgia to meet James and spend some time with him. I got there the end of October (like the 29th). On the 31st, we decided to go on base (James lived off base, so it was to be my first time going) and hang out with some of his friends. I met a few people and was having a good time. All of the women were going to take the kids trick-or-treating and asked if I wanted to go. I said 'sure'! The boys went paint balling and then came back to his friend's house and played video games.
After trick-or-treating in one neighborhood, we decided to drive around base and go to the 'Officer housing area'. The first mistake of the night.
There were like 5 adults and I don't know how many kids. There were kids riding around on trailer beds and stuff in the one main neighborhood we were at. So we thought it would be ok if we ALL piled into J's truck. Second mistake of the night. There were kids in the bed of the truck, un-belted. Third mistake of the night. (hind sight is 20/20)
Now, the speed limit was like 5 miles an hour on base, other people were doing it, and there were sooo many people out, you had to go slow to be safe anyway.
We pull into the officer's housing area and there's no one around. I thought it was weird. Before I knew it, we were lost in a sea of cookie-cutter houses. I see some guys in uniform walking on the side of the road. I say 'We'll ask these guys where to go' and begin to pull over. The other girls start shouting 'Nooooooo.' But it was too late. The guys had seen me and were flagging me over with a green flashlight (seriously?? who carries a green flashlight?!). I pull up to them and they come up the driver's side window. I'm sure you can guess where this is headed.... it's two SF's (Security Forces). They ask for my license and what to know what I'm doing. I explain we're just trying to take the kids trick-or-treating. I get yelled at about not having the kids buckled, ect. Then they ask who my sponsor is (if you aren't a military member or dependant of said military member, you must be escorted on base and accompanied at all times by a military member or dependant). NONE of the women in the vehicle will say that they 'sponsor' me and are allowing me to be on base!! Bunch of bitches. So I say 'I guess he's bask at her house' (pointing to one of the women that's with me). They take my license and tell me to go home and get him. All of the women and children were forced to get out and stand on the side of the road.
All alone, and new on base, I try to make my way back to said girl's house, PRAYING the guys were back from paintball. They were. I walk into the house and find James on a couch. I announce
"You need to come with me right now. I've been arrested by SF and everyone else is in custody."
James says: "NO WAY!!"
See, as a sponsor you are responsible for allll of the actions of the person with you. If they get in trouble, your commander can hear about you can get in trouble to include letters of counseling, reprimand, ect. in your file, loosing a stripe/pay grade... it's nothing to be messed with. None of the women wanted their husbands to get in trouble so they refused to say they were my sponsor. They were just as guilty, if not more so, as me. THEY knew the rules of base, I didn't. I should have assumed the same rules applied on base (actually there's more) than off base.
James comes with me back out there. He talks to the police and I wait patiently in the truck. Needless to say, I was very embarrassed. I had JUST met this guy and here, I'm about to get him in MAJOR trouble with his job. DOH!!
Turns out, the police were pissed at the women! They couldn't believe they were sooo selfish as to 'disown' me (when I didn't know any better) and through me to the wolves, just to try to cover their own asses. So they let me and James go and gave all the other women tickets! PER CHILD! LOL So if they had 2 kids, they got 2 tickets.
James later admitted (like years later), that had he gotten into trouble, it probably would have been the end of us and he would have taken me to the air port 2 weeks later, happy to see me leave.
So, lesson learned: Don't be selfish to try to CYA, it wont always work. Oh, and don't let people ride in the bed of your truck. It's just as illegal on base as it is off!!
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