Who are you again?

First, I apologize for the lack of posts since James' return, it's been a loooong road..... you'll understand a bit more a little later on.

Ok, now on with it.


A homecoming from a 'long' (I know, there are some MUCH, much longer) is bumpy at best. People can say how perfect theirs ones and how soooo much in love they are and 90% of that is bullshit. They may be really love, but that's about the only part that's the truth about a homecoming.

You are so beyond happy that they are home. It's all you've dreamed about since the day you said goodbye. The problem lies in changes. People change. When you are apart, you often change in somewhat different directions. You get into habits and a set way of life. You do everything on your own and become very self reliant. Then one day, you go from being 'single' to married. Over night.

You get used to doing things YOUR way. You clean the house your way, you do the dishes and laundry your way, you discipline your kids your way. Your life is yours. Then, DH (or DW) comes home. It's hard for him because he's been away for so long and all he wants to do is be a part of the family again. He wants your attention, affection, time, and love. He wants to step in and help with the kids, but doesn't know how. Kids change the most. Being away for anything more than 6 months, they miss a LOT. Kids grow and change so fast, esp. before the teen years. And even the teen years are just change after change.



DH came home late. I left the kids home tucked in bed and had a friend come over to sit while I went and got DH. I picked up DH and was shocked to only see one other wife there for a group of about 8. There was no big homecoming. I met my DH at the bottom of an escalator, gave him a big hug and we went to luggage. There was no parade, there was no welcome party, no cameras, no news stations. We got his bags and 2 guys from his shop showed up. Typically when guys come home, at a minimum their co-workers show to welcome them home. These guys have been through SOOO many deployments now a days, that it's not even a big deal when people return. There are CONSTANTLY people coming and going. It's sad that this war has drug on for soooooo long and the men and women have done sooooo many tours that no ones seems to really care any more.

We came home, did what couples do, and he went to sleep. He was just happy to be home. I laid there next to him, wide awake. I hadn't had any one in my bed in almost 9 months. I was used to sleeping alone. Not only was there now someone in my bed, but I looked at him and didn't know who he was. I kept looking, trying to see if I'd recognize him...... nothing. We'd been apart long enough that I didn't know who he was any more. Nothing was said to hurt me, no one was mad. I couldn't help but lay there and think 'Who are you? I don't know you.' the first few nights after that, I asked him to sleep on the couch. There wasn't any fighting or being mad, I just couldn't get to sleep because I couldn't get over this feeling of a stranger laying next to me.

As the days went on, we settled back into our routine. We adjusted and became a family again. The first few days James went back to work, Kayla cried. While he was deployed we told her daddy was at work, because well, he was. So when he would leave she would ask where daddy went. I told her he'd gone to work. The tears would start to roll down her cheeks and she'd cry to me, 'NO! I don't want daddy to go to work because he not come home!' She was heartbroken at the thought of daddy leaving again and not coming home. I had to keep telling her daddy would be home before dinner and in time bed. She didn't believe and would sit and cry. After a week she got that daddy was coming home every day and life moved on with her.

Ben would just look at him. It was just mom and sister before. Now there's this other person. Is he good, bad? Luckily Ben adjusts well to new people and did just fine. James had missed most of his first year.

All in all this was the smoothest adjustment. After a few weeks home we all went on a vacation to the lower 48. We spent most of it in sunny FL and it was so nice to see the sun and the sand! i suppose with this being our third homecoming in just 5 years, you're bound to get good at it.

The general public doesn't understand how complex a homecoming is and what the families go through. A lot of people think, oh the family is whole again! They can be a big happy family now! I can assure you, this is almost never the case. There is usually at least one large fight and rocky times. It's a very rough road at first and some couples don't even make it through. Sometimes being apart for a year is just too much. People grow and change. Often, in different directions.

Shut Up, You're Just a Fat Bitch

You can never go out with a bunch of younger guys to a bar, and expect it to be drama free. Just sayin'.

The Aces have made it into the fight for the Kelly Cup. So fo course I went to the game Friday, which they lost (don't get me started!). I also went to the game on Sat. Both nights I went with 'JT' who is one of my husband's troops (nice kid).

Sat. Chels went too and we had her drive us. We had a few drinks at the game, where I promptly got into a fight with one of South Carolina's Ast. Coaches. No, you can't take me any where. The people around me were cheering me on, and I had to reply with 'please don't encourage me.' Because honestly, that's not a good thing. my bad behavior shouldn't be encouraged.

After the game we met up with 'Es' (another guy in DH's shop). We had Chels drop us off at the bar. We played darts for a while and JT got drunk, way too fast. He was going around flirting with all kinds fo chicks (it was pretty funny to watch at least) and some chicks didn't like it. So one girl was being a HUGE bitch and happened to be sitting at a table right next to ours. She started to get nasty and Es started to tell her off, for JT. Well, she didn't take it well. After a new, Es was like 'Sit down and shut up. You're nothing but a stupid fat bitch anyway.' I about fell off of my chair laughing, because she promptly sat down!! BAAAAHHHHH HA HA HA

After a little bit, I'd decided I'd had enough for the night and called Chels to come get me. She got there at about 1:30am. I told JT and Es I was leaving and asked if either of them needed a sober ride. They said they were both good, so I said good night and left.

I got home and crawled into bed. My head hit the pillow and my phone started to go off. It was JT. He said he needed I ride home. I told him it was too late, the DD was already at home for the night. Got nothing back. About 30 min. later I got another message that said 'some guy just punched me in the face 3 times'.

WHAT?!??!

I didn't get that message until I got up for the day. Turns out, right after I left JT got kicked out of the bar for being too drunk. I guess he should have left when I said it was time, eh? While outside some guy started a fight with him. JT ignored him and was waiting for his DD to get there. Then, while JT was watching the cops give some guy a ticket across the street, the little ass hole came up and sucker punched him in the jaw 3 times. The guys girlfriend pulled him off of JT and said he should leave before JT started to hit him back. In the mean time security was out there. Es was still in the bar and JT called him. Es comes out with 3 security guys and the little shit that suck punched JT took off.

Ah, a night of drinking isn't complete in the military unless someone gets punched in the mouth.