I Want to Kill Myself and My Husband is a Pucking Azzhole

Along with Cat, another character I saw this weekend was Rose. Rose is a middle aged, heavy set Asian woman. Last year she found her husband Mark cheating on her (Mark and my husband work together). Rose came home to find her husband in bed with another woman, naked, and banging. She called the other woman 'buffalo' because she was so over weight. Mark was told by his superior officers to stop the behavior immediately and to either work it out with his wife or divorce her. Mark chose divorce, only never really did it. Instead she moved out, then he moved in with her!! She kicked him out and off to Iraq he went. He continued to cheat on her through out his entire deployment.

Rose tried to turn him in again, and again, and again. Problem, the Master Sgt. in the shop was a total LOSER and refused to write up paper work on him (the military has strict rules on cheating, you can lose pay, get kicked out, or even tossed in jail). So he got away with the behavior. The behavior had no consequences, so he kept doing it.

Turns out Buffalo got pg! Now, I was thinking about timing and it doesn't seem to add up. The baby was born in April. He got back from Iraq in Jan/February. It was a 7.5 month deployment. That would have made her pg for 10 - 11 months. So, I'm having a hard time believing it's his, but that's his problem. He seems content with the woman he is with now, but I hate to break it to her, once a cheater always a cheater. Now, I know I know... not always. But in this guy's case, yeah, always. He was cheating on her before he went to Iraq! Rose had hacked into his Myspace account and found e-mails to tons of chicks. Talking about how much fun they've had and nasty pictures being sent to one another (I know this because she showed me and it was pretty gross stuff). Buffalo asked him about it (we forwarded some of the e-mails to her, she had a right to now!!) and he denied it, but the proof is in the pudding baby. It is, what it is.

When I saw her, the first thing she said to me was, 'You'll never guess what the pucking azzhole did Keem! I'm so pucking mad.' (she has a very heavy accent and it's hilarious when she cusses) Rose said that she'd been sooo sick about the entire situation that she'd been sick all the time. She even thought about killing herself. Now, is it just me or does there seem to be an abundance of people trying to commit suicide?? :( She said that she called the shop asking for my phone number and they wouldn't give it out to her (she is a little on the crazy side), so I told her I'd try to stop by her work and check up on her every now and then.

I'm Coming Home

It's the phone call you LOVE to get. Very few phone calls involving a deployment/the military are good. None as good as this one. It's the phone call saying your loved one is coming home.

The military made an error in our favor. No, that never happens. They messed up a flight schedule for the guys in TX that are going to Iraq. My husband should be home in around two weeks, instead of three. It's the military so nothing is for sure until it's actually happening, but it's something to hang on to.

You always have a fight before they get home, then some huge fight when they are actually home. It's the stress of the upcoming homecoming and the stress of trying to adjust to married life again. Every one does it, and it's normal. But it still sucks!! This will be our third big homecoming (not counting his R&R from Korea). So we're kind of used to it and getting better at managing the stress of it all. But we're still human and we still fight.

The fighting is all worth it though, to hold them in your arms again.

Everything is so bitter sweet

My friend Ness' husband is home on R&R. What a wonderful opportunity to get a break from the stress of a deployment for him and his family. However, I've been through R&R during a one year deployment. Those few weeks that you get to see your loved one is the best thing in the world. That one last hug, that one last kiss....... that one last look into their eyes.

It's all drowned in a cloud of knowing. Knowing that in just a few short days it's all going to come to an end again and you'll go through a painful goodbye, once again. Everyday they are home, you dread the day that approaches, all too fast, when they have to leave again.

J is due back from his deployment in just 8 weeks, about 60 days. I can do two months standing on my head, holding both kids. But I know the day he comes home will be bittersweet. You are so amazingly over the moon to see your loved one again, safe on our soil. What you also know, in the back of your mind, is that it wont be your last homecoming. That in the months to come, you'll be saying goodbye, again. I know that in November of next year, my DH could deploy yet again. I know without a doubt that if he is still in the military he will deploy again in the next two years. I know I'll having to say goodbye, yet again.

What do you do when you know you'll have to go through a long, terrifying deployment again?? Take it one day at a time and enjoy every single day you have with them. You try not to take things for granted. We can be in the middle of a giant fight, even when he's deployed, and we still say 'I love you' every time we end a phone call or chat. I know it may be the last time I get to say it and if nothing else, he wont ever have a doubt in his mind how I feel about him.

Even though it is bittersweet, I would give ANYTHING for my husband to have R&R (he doesn't get to come home on a 'break' and I haven't seen him since early March). It may be painful knowing that he has to leave again in a few short days, but those you have together are simply amazing.