DH and I have gone through a bit of infertility. While it isn't a long time compared to others, two years is hard on any woman trying to become pregnant.
While it seems that in the military almost everyone just gets pg., that couldn't be farther from the truth. I know a lot of women who just pop out babies no problem. I also know a lot of women who have a really difficult time. Living on a military makes this hard. When ever there is a huge unit homecoming, there are always babies. There's now a 'boom' and every where you look you see a pg. woman. This is REALLY hard if you are one of those women who have a difficult time. You go in to see the doctor and are surrounded by pg. women. To look at them makes you hurt inside. While some of them may have had a struggle and you are happy for them, you are sad for you! It's hard, period. You want to be a 'good' person and be happy for everyone..... some women are 'bitter', but really most of them are just sad for them. And that's OK. It's OK for you to be happy for someone else and sad for you. There's nothing wrong with hurting and feeling pain for something you need in your life.
Ben's birth was horrible, at best. It left me with a lot of scar tissue. What it took to have him was 2 years of trying and medical help. We were told we'd probably never get pg. again for a lot of reasons, at least not on our own.
We went to FL and had a great time!! We came home and got settled back into life here. About 3 weeks later I wasn't feeling well. At Christmas time I felt kind of gross, but thought nothing of it. I took a pregnancy test on New Years because I felt 'off.' I'd been pregnant 7 times and kind of knew what to expect or what it felt like. Sure enough, it was positive. I went in and started to have blood tests done every 48 hours for a few weeks. I had less than 1% chance of even getting pg. and the chances of an early miscarriage were extremely high for me.
It took over a week for the utter shock to wear off. Then it was fear. I'd lost so many pregnancies. This was now my eighth pregnancy and I only have two children. I had a cat scan while technically pg, but didn't have any idea. I was worried that if the baby did make it there would be something life-threatening wrong.
So far, so good. I am now in my second trimester and if everything goes well, we will be having our third child in mid-August. This is the smoothest pregnancy I've ever had, in terms of pregnancy. I have been REALLY really sick though. I had a flu bug and had to get IV fluids. I then had a nasty sinus infection which needs antibiotics. I then got fluid in my lungs. My healthy has been total crap, but none of it is pregnancy related. Go figure.
That is why I have been MIA. I'm hardly on the computer and when I am it's just to catch up with friends and family and then I'm off!! But, I promise to be better from now on :)
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