DH and I have gone through a bit of infertility. While it isn't a long time compared to others, two years is hard on any woman trying to become pregnant.
While it seems that in the military almost everyone just gets pg., that couldn't be farther from the truth. I know a lot of women who just pop out babies no problem. I also know a lot of women who have a really difficult time. Living on a military makes this hard. When ever there is a huge unit homecoming, there are always babies. There's now a 'boom' and every where you look you see a pg. woman. This is REALLY hard if you are one of those women who have a difficult time. You go in to see the doctor and are surrounded by pg. women. To look at them makes you hurt inside. While some of them may have had a struggle and you are happy for them, you are sad for you! It's hard, period. You want to be a 'good' person and be happy for everyone..... some women are 'bitter', but really most of them are just sad for them. And that's OK. It's OK for you to be happy for someone else and sad for you. There's nothing wrong with hurting and feeling pain for something you need in your life.
Ben's birth was horrible, at best. It left me with a lot of scar tissue. What it took to have him was 2 years of trying and medical help. We were told we'd probably never get pg. again for a lot of reasons, at least not on our own.
We went to FL and had a great time!! We came home and got settled back into life here. About 3 weeks later I wasn't feeling well. At Christmas time I felt kind of gross, but thought nothing of it. I took a pregnancy test on New Years because I felt 'off.' I'd been pregnant 7 times and kind of knew what to expect or what it felt like. Sure enough, it was positive. I went in and started to have blood tests done every 48 hours for a few weeks. I had less than 1% chance of even getting pg. and the chances of an early miscarriage were extremely high for me.
It took over a week for the utter shock to wear off. Then it was fear. I'd lost so many pregnancies. This was now my eighth pregnancy and I only have two children. I had a cat scan while technically pg, but didn't have any idea. I was worried that if the baby did make it there would be something life-threatening wrong.
So far, so good. I am now in my second trimester and if everything goes well, we will be having our third child in mid-August. This is the smoothest pregnancy I've ever had, in terms of pregnancy. I have been REALLY really sick though. I had a flu bug and had to get IV fluids. I then had a nasty sinus infection which needs antibiotics. I then got fluid in my lungs. My healthy has been total crap, but none of it is pregnancy related. Go figure.
That is why I have been MIA. I'm hardly on the computer and when I am it's just to catch up with friends and family and then I'm off!! But, I promise to be better from now on :)
Sunday, March 7, 2010
Who are you again?
First, I apologize for the lack of posts since James' return, it's been a loooong road..... you'll understand a bit more a little later on.
Ok, now on with it.
A homecoming from a 'long' (I know, there are some MUCH, much longer) is bumpy at best. People can say how perfect theirs ones and how soooo much in love they are and 90% of that is bullshit. They may be really love, but that's about the only part that's the truth about a homecoming.
You are so beyond happy that they are home. It's all you've dreamed about since the day you said goodbye. The problem lies in changes. People change. When you are apart, you often change in somewhat different directions. You get into habits and a set way of life. You do everything on your own and become very self reliant. Then one day, you go from being 'single' to married. Over night.
You get used to doing things YOUR way. You clean the house your way, you do the dishes and laundry your way, you discipline your kids your way. Your life is yours. Then, DH (or DW) comes home. It's hard for him because he's been away for so long and all he wants to do is be a part of the family again. He wants your attention, affection, time, and love. He wants to step in and help with the kids, but doesn't know how. Kids change the most. Being away for anything more than 6 months, they miss a LOT. Kids grow and change so fast, esp. before the teen years. And even the teen years are just change after change.
DH came home late. I left the kids home tucked in bed and had a friend come over to sit while I went and got DH. I picked up DH and was shocked to only see one other wife there for a group of about 8. There was no big homecoming. I met my DH at the bottom of an escalator, gave him a big hug and we went to luggage. There was no parade, there was no welcome party, no cameras, no news stations. We got his bags and 2 guys from his shop showed up. Typically when guys come home, at a minimum their co-workers show to welcome them home. These guys have been through SOOO many deployments now a days, that it's not even a big deal when people return. There are CONSTANTLY people coming and going. It's sad that this war has drug on for soooooo long and the men and women have done sooooo many tours that no ones seems to really care any more.
We came home, did what couples do, and he went to sleep. He was just happy to be home. I laid there next to him, wide awake. I hadn't had any one in my bed in almost 9 months. I was used to sleeping alone. Not only was there now someone in my bed, but I looked at him and didn't know who he was. I kept looking, trying to see if I'd recognize him...... nothing. We'd been apart long enough that I didn't know who he was any more. Nothing was said to hurt me, no one was mad. I couldn't help but lay there and think 'Who are you? I don't know you.' the first few nights after that, I asked him to sleep on the couch. There wasn't any fighting or being mad, I just couldn't get to sleep because I couldn't get over this feeling of a stranger laying next to me.
As the days went on, we settled back into our routine. We adjusted and became a family again. The first few days James went back to work, Kayla cried. While he was deployed we told her daddy was at work, because well, he was. So when he would leave she would ask where daddy went. I told her he'd gone to work. The tears would start to roll down her cheeks and she'd cry to me, 'NO! I don't want daddy to go to work because he not come home!' She was heartbroken at the thought of daddy leaving again and not coming home. I had to keep telling her daddy would be home before dinner and in time bed. She didn't believe and would sit and cry. After a week she got that daddy was coming home every day and life moved on with her.
Ben would just look at him. It was just mom and sister before. Now there's this other person. Is he good, bad? Luckily Ben adjusts well to new people and did just fine. James had missed most of his first year.
All in all this was the smoothest adjustment. After a few weeks home we all went on a vacation to the lower 48. We spent most of it in sunny FL and it was so nice to see the sun and the sand! i suppose with this being our third homecoming in just 5 years, you're bound to get good at it.
The general public doesn't understand how complex a homecoming is and what the families go through. A lot of people think, oh the family is whole again! They can be a big happy family now! I can assure you, this is almost never the case. There is usually at least one large fight and rocky times. It's a very rough road at first and some couples don't even make it through. Sometimes being apart for a year is just too much. People grow and change. Often, in different directions.
Ok, now on with it.
A homecoming from a 'long' (I know, there are some MUCH, much longer) is bumpy at best. People can say how perfect theirs ones and how soooo much in love they are and 90% of that is bullshit. They may be really love, but that's about the only part that's the truth about a homecoming.
You are so beyond happy that they are home. It's all you've dreamed about since the day you said goodbye. The problem lies in changes. People change. When you are apart, you often change in somewhat different directions. You get into habits and a set way of life. You do everything on your own and become very self reliant. Then one day, you go from being 'single' to married. Over night.
You get used to doing things YOUR way. You clean the house your way, you do the dishes and laundry your way, you discipline your kids your way. Your life is yours. Then, DH (or DW) comes home. It's hard for him because he's been away for so long and all he wants to do is be a part of the family again. He wants your attention, affection, time, and love. He wants to step in and help with the kids, but doesn't know how. Kids change the most. Being away for anything more than 6 months, they miss a LOT. Kids grow and change so fast, esp. before the teen years. And even the teen years are just change after change.
DH came home late. I left the kids home tucked in bed and had a friend come over to sit while I went and got DH. I picked up DH and was shocked to only see one other wife there for a group of about 8. There was no big homecoming. I met my DH at the bottom of an escalator, gave him a big hug and we went to luggage. There was no parade, there was no welcome party, no cameras, no news stations. We got his bags and 2 guys from his shop showed up. Typically when guys come home, at a minimum their co-workers show to welcome them home. These guys have been through SOOO many deployments now a days, that it's not even a big deal when people return. There are CONSTANTLY people coming and going. It's sad that this war has drug on for soooooo long and the men and women have done sooooo many tours that no ones seems to really care any more.
We came home, did what couples do, and he went to sleep. He was just happy to be home. I laid there next to him, wide awake. I hadn't had any one in my bed in almost 9 months. I was used to sleeping alone. Not only was there now someone in my bed, but I looked at him and didn't know who he was. I kept looking, trying to see if I'd recognize him...... nothing. We'd been apart long enough that I didn't know who he was any more. Nothing was said to hurt me, no one was mad. I couldn't help but lay there and think 'Who are you? I don't know you.' the first few nights after that, I asked him to sleep on the couch. There wasn't any fighting or being mad, I just couldn't get to sleep because I couldn't get over this feeling of a stranger laying next to me.
As the days went on, we settled back into our routine. We adjusted and became a family again. The first few days James went back to work, Kayla cried. While he was deployed we told her daddy was at work, because well, he was. So when he would leave she would ask where daddy went. I told her he'd gone to work. The tears would start to roll down her cheeks and she'd cry to me, 'NO! I don't want daddy to go to work because he not come home!' She was heartbroken at the thought of daddy leaving again and not coming home. I had to keep telling her daddy would be home before dinner and in time bed. She didn't believe and would sit and cry. After a week she got that daddy was coming home every day and life moved on with her.
Ben would just look at him. It was just mom and sister before. Now there's this other person. Is he good, bad? Luckily Ben adjusts well to new people and did just fine. James had missed most of his first year.
All in all this was the smoothest adjustment. After a few weeks home we all went on a vacation to the lower 48. We spent most of it in sunny FL and it was so nice to see the sun and the sand! i suppose with this being our third homecoming in just 5 years, you're bound to get good at it.
The general public doesn't understand how complex a homecoming is and what the families go through. A lot of people think, oh the family is whole again! They can be a big happy family now! I can assure you, this is almost never the case. There is usually at least one large fight and rocky times. It's a very rough road at first and some couples don't even make it through. Sometimes being apart for a year is just too much. People grow and change. Often, in different directions.
Saturday, October 3, 2009
Don't Perpetuate the Problem of Domestic Violence
It's 11pm on Friday night. You call him back to your house because you want to get and leave early Saturday morning. Only, what happens next you never expected. You never thought you'd be that girl.
Petrea wanted to go to Fairbanks for the weekend. It was Scott's birthday weekend. Even though they were going through a divorce (an living in separate towns), they had a son together and she wanted to stay friends. He showed up at her place around 11pm. He tried to have sex with her and she said no. She said no again, again, and again. He got mad and slammed his head into the wall three times. She got mad and told him to leave. She said she would pay for his cab ride back to the bar where his friends were, that he just had to leave.
Their marriage was never perfect. Whose is? They fought, but it gradually took on a more violent tone. He started to punch holes in walls and through stuff. Then he started to grab her, or push her, or take her phone. One day he held her down, pushed her on the ground, hit her, threw her phone so she couldn't call the police. All in front of their son who wasn't even one. She went to the police later and filed a report. They went and arrested him. He sat in jail for a day, then got out. When his work found out about it, a female Sgt. actually told her 'you should have called me not the police.' EXCUSE ME?!?!?! Since when does the military think domestic violence is ok?? Don't perpetuate the problem! There should be a zero tolerance policy! (and I can say with some certainty that in most shops, there is) The First Shirt who found about it didn't do anything about it either. Since he got away with it, nothing happened. On the civil end, the charges went no where. It was his first documented offense and they lowered it to assault and then basically let it go. (he told her that he would get kicked out of the military and wouldn't be able to pay any child support, so she dropped it and let it go)
The pattern was evident and she finally got up the courage to leave him. She went back to Canada for a few months so they could try to work things out and he could focus on trying harder. While she was gone, he cheated on her. That was the last straw for her (THAT?!?! REALLY?? He beat her and that was ok, but cheating was the end.... I'll never understand some people fully).
When she came back to the US in April of '09 she moved out. She stayed with me for a bit until she was on her feet. She got a god job and her own place. Even when she was staying with, the violence issues were evident. He would call her up and be fine one minute, then snap and freak out the next. He would come over to my house on occasion, but never when I was there. One day I came home to find his truck in my drive. I called Petrea and they came running out of the house. He hopped in his truck and took off. I asked her what was going on and she said he had pinned her against the wall and was screaming at her when I came home (now I know why he left so fast, I'm a lot bigger than he is). From then on, I had a "No Scott" rule. He wasn't allowed on my property, period. If I caught him there, she was out. I did this for her own good. If he was assaulting her in MY house, and I happened to come home..... there would have been hell to pay. And I just don't want that stuff in my house. It was for her own good, and he hadn't assaulted her since.
(fast forward to last night) After telling him to leave, he grabbed her and threw her down on her bed. He climbed on top of her and began to choke her. is hands were cutting off her air supply. She was afraid for her life. She looked over and saw their son sleeping in his pack-n-play next to her bed. She thought 'you're going to kill me right here in front of my son, you fucking ass hole.' She began to fight back and he let go. She called up a friend (not sure why) and he told her to call the police (she didn't). Scott grew even more angry, but finally left. Petrea locked the door and laid there afraid he would come back. He stayed outside her building and kept calling her, begging her to let him back in.
I called Petrea around 8:30 in the morning to see what she was up to and ask if she had talked to a mutual friend of ours. She said she had, but she hadn't seen him (I was worried about him since I hadn't heard from him and just felt something was wrong.... I right something was wrong, but wrong friend....). She said she had a long night and that Scott had come over drunk and beat the shit out of her. I lost it. I flew off the handle. I said NO MORE!!! I asked her who he worked for, she didn't know. I called up Deb whose husband went into work to find out who he worked for and who his first shirt is (and his phone number!). I told her as soon as she wakes up fully, she is to go down to the PD and file a report and get a restraining order. As soon as she does that she is to take it to the base police and file a report there and get the RO on paper there. She is then to call up his First Shirt. And I'll tell you this, the First Sgt WILL do something about it this time. If he doesn't a call is going to be made to the base commander. EVERY ONE in the military has a boss, and something will be done about Mr. Scott (and I should clarify, this is NOT my neighbor Scott.... my neighbor Scott is the one who went and got the phone number for me). He keeps on doing it because he gets away with it. He does it because he can. And Petrea, she's the perfect victim. Quiet, small, timid. Doesn't want to get any one in trouble. But, Petrea has me........... I am NOT a good victim. I am bigger and can hurt most people that try to hurt me. I'm loud and will make sure you pay the piper. Sometimes, the quiet ones need friends that aren't.
Petrea wanted to go to Fairbanks for the weekend. It was Scott's birthday weekend. Even though they were going through a divorce (an living in separate towns), they had a son together and she wanted to stay friends. He showed up at her place around 11pm. He tried to have sex with her and she said no. She said no again, again, and again. He got mad and slammed his head into the wall three times. She got mad and told him to leave. She said she would pay for his cab ride back to the bar where his friends were, that he just had to leave.
Their marriage was never perfect. Whose is? They fought, but it gradually took on a more violent tone. He started to punch holes in walls and through stuff. Then he started to grab her, or push her, or take her phone. One day he held her down, pushed her on the ground, hit her, threw her phone so she couldn't call the police. All in front of their son who wasn't even one. She went to the police later and filed a report. They went and arrested him. He sat in jail for a day, then got out. When his work found out about it, a female Sgt. actually told her 'you should have called me not the police.' EXCUSE ME?!?!?! Since when does the military think domestic violence is ok?? Don't perpetuate the problem! There should be a zero tolerance policy! (and I can say with some certainty that in most shops, there is) The First Shirt who found about it didn't do anything about it either. Since he got away with it, nothing happened. On the civil end, the charges went no where. It was his first documented offense and they lowered it to assault and then basically let it go. (he told her that he would get kicked out of the military and wouldn't be able to pay any child support, so she dropped it and let it go)
The pattern was evident and she finally got up the courage to leave him. She went back to Canada for a few months so they could try to work things out and he could focus on trying harder. While she was gone, he cheated on her. That was the last straw for her (THAT?!?! REALLY?? He beat her and that was ok, but cheating was the end.... I'll never understand some people fully).
When she came back to the US in April of '09 she moved out. She stayed with me for a bit until she was on her feet. She got a god job and her own place. Even when she was staying with, the violence issues were evident. He would call her up and be fine one minute, then snap and freak out the next. He would come over to my house on occasion, but never when I was there. One day I came home to find his truck in my drive. I called Petrea and they came running out of the house. He hopped in his truck and took off. I asked her what was going on and she said he had pinned her against the wall and was screaming at her when I came home (now I know why he left so fast, I'm a lot bigger than he is). From then on, I had a "No Scott" rule. He wasn't allowed on my property, period. If I caught him there, she was out. I did this for her own good. If he was assaulting her in MY house, and I happened to come home..... there would have been hell to pay. And I just don't want that stuff in my house. It was for her own good, and he hadn't assaulted her since.
(fast forward to last night) After telling him to leave, he grabbed her and threw her down on her bed. He climbed on top of her and began to choke her. is hands were cutting off her air supply. She was afraid for her life. She looked over and saw their son sleeping in his pack-n-play next to her bed. She thought 'you're going to kill me right here in front of my son, you fucking ass hole.' She began to fight back and he let go. She called up a friend (not sure why) and he told her to call the police (she didn't). Scott grew even more angry, but finally left. Petrea locked the door and laid there afraid he would come back. He stayed outside her building and kept calling her, begging her to let him back in.
I called Petrea around 8:30 in the morning to see what she was up to and ask if she had talked to a mutual friend of ours. She said she had, but she hadn't seen him (I was worried about him since I hadn't heard from him and just felt something was wrong.... I right something was wrong, but wrong friend....). She said she had a long night and that Scott had come over drunk and beat the shit out of her. I lost it. I flew off the handle. I said NO MORE!!! I asked her who he worked for, she didn't know. I called up Deb whose husband went into work to find out who he worked for and who his first shirt is (and his phone number!). I told her as soon as she wakes up fully, she is to go down to the PD and file a report and get a restraining order. As soon as she does that she is to take it to the base police and file a report there and get the RO on paper there. She is then to call up his First Shirt. And I'll tell you this, the First Sgt WILL do something about it this time. If he doesn't a call is going to be made to the base commander. EVERY ONE in the military has a boss, and something will be done about Mr. Scott (and I should clarify, this is NOT my neighbor Scott.... my neighbor Scott is the one who went and got the phone number for me). He keeps on doing it because he gets away with it. He does it because he can. And Petrea, she's the perfect victim. Quiet, small, timid. Doesn't want to get any one in trouble. But, Petrea has me........... I am NOT a good victim. I am bigger and can hurt most people that try to hurt me. I'm loud and will make sure you pay the piper. Sometimes, the quiet ones need friends that aren't.
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
I Found a Lump
To continue on with the crazy week I had...................
We all know I had an issue with skin cancer (which by the way has all been cleared up and I'm going to be fine). My close friends here are aware of it all. My friend Jason calls me up on Monday night. He says he woke up last week and did the 'man scratch' (you know when the scratch their balls in the morning?) and he felt a lump. I was like 'On your balls?!?!?' He said no, it was lower like on the taint (I have nooo idea how to spell that, and gross!!). He went to the doctor on Monday and they did blood work. His white blood cell count came back elevated (I don't know how elevated like if it's in the cancer range or I may have a cold, or infection, or nothing big range). They did an ultrasound on the lump and said it looks like a tumor or mass.
He called me up scared and nervous. I understand that. It's the not knowing that's the worst. It's scary not knowing what's going on or what's going to happen to you. When you know what's going on, you know ho to treat it, how to handle it. You can get over the initial shock of things, put on your brave face, and do what you need to do.
So on Tuesday night he goes to pee and can't. He starts to vomit and goes in to the ER. The inject some dye and do another ultrasound on his bladder. They find several more lumps around his bladder, that look like the lump under his junk.
In my heart I want to think that everything will be just fine, but in my head I understand that it may not be. Turns out he has an appointment with Oncology at the hospital on Monday. They don't send you to Oncology unless they think that you have cancer. :( He is all kinds of torn up about it and scared (and rightfully so). He doesn't have a lot of people that he's super close to up here because he's quiet and keeps to himself. He's a really great guy with a huge heart, so isn't this fitting? Doesn't that bad stuff always happen to the good guys? I know he'll be ok, but my heart goes out to him as he struggles with how to handle the news and all the up coming doctor appts.
Either way it goes, I get it. I've been there. I've had pre-cancer tissue removed from inside my head, I have a tumor in one of my sinuses (they can't remove it), and my mom has had lots of bouts with cancer (including lots of different treatments). I'll be here waiting for the news, good or bad.
He also doesn't want to tell anyone in the shop because he is supposed to deploy in February. If he ends up on a profile he wont be able to deploy, which he really wants to do. I'll wait until the news and then advice him to make a good choice from there.
We all know I had an issue with skin cancer (which by the way has all been cleared up and I'm going to be fine). My close friends here are aware of it all. My friend Jason calls me up on Monday night. He says he woke up last week and did the 'man scratch' (you know when the scratch their balls in the morning?) and he felt a lump. I was like 'On your balls?!?!?' He said no, it was lower like on the taint (I have nooo idea how to spell that, and gross!!). He went to the doctor on Monday and they did blood work. His white blood cell count came back elevated (I don't know how elevated like if it's in the cancer range or I may have a cold, or infection, or nothing big range). They did an ultrasound on the lump and said it looks like a tumor or mass.
He called me up scared and nervous. I understand that. It's the not knowing that's the worst. It's scary not knowing what's going on or what's going to happen to you. When you know what's going on, you know ho to treat it, how to handle it. You can get over the initial shock of things, put on your brave face, and do what you need to do.
So on Tuesday night he goes to pee and can't. He starts to vomit and goes in to the ER. The inject some dye and do another ultrasound on his bladder. They find several more lumps around his bladder, that look like the lump under his junk.
In my heart I want to think that everything will be just fine, but in my head I understand that it may not be. Turns out he has an appointment with Oncology at the hospital on Monday. They don't send you to Oncology unless they think that you have cancer. :( He is all kinds of torn up about it and scared (and rightfully so). He doesn't have a lot of people that he's super close to up here because he's quiet and keeps to himself. He's a really great guy with a huge heart, so isn't this fitting? Doesn't that bad stuff always happen to the good guys? I know he'll be ok, but my heart goes out to him as he struggles with how to handle the news and all the up coming doctor appts.
Either way it goes, I get it. I've been there. I've had pre-cancer tissue removed from inside my head, I have a tumor in one of my sinuses (they can't remove it), and my mom has had lots of bouts with cancer (including lots of different treatments). I'll be here waiting for the news, good or bad.
He also doesn't want to tell anyone in the shop because he is supposed to deploy in February. If he ends up on a profile he wont be able to deploy, which he really wants to do. I'll wait until the news and then advice him to make a good choice from there.
I Want to Kill Myself and My Husband is a Pucking Azzhole
Along with Cat, another character I saw this weekend was Rose. Rose is a middle aged, heavy set Asian woman. Last year she found her husband Mark cheating on her (Mark and my husband work together). Rose came home to find her husband in bed with another woman, naked, and banging. She called the other woman 'buffalo' because she was so over weight. Mark was told by his superior officers to stop the behavior immediately and to either work it out with his wife or divorce her. Mark chose divorce, only never really did it. Instead she moved out, then he moved in with her!! She kicked him out and off to Iraq he went. He continued to cheat on her through out his entire deployment.
Rose tried to turn him in again, and again, and again. Problem, the Master Sgt. in the shop was a total LOSER and refused to write up paper work on him (the military has strict rules on cheating, you can lose pay, get kicked out, or even tossed in jail). So he got away with the behavior. The behavior had no consequences, so he kept doing it.
Turns out Buffalo got pg! Now, I was thinking about timing and it doesn't seem to add up. The baby was born in April. He got back from Iraq in Jan/February. It was a 7.5 month deployment. That would have made her pg for 10 - 11 months. So, I'm having a hard time believing it's his, but that's his problem. He seems content with the woman he is with now, but I hate to break it to her, once a cheater always a cheater. Now, I know I know... not always. But in this guy's case, yeah, always. He was cheating on her before he went to Iraq! Rose had hacked into his Myspace account and found e-mails to tons of chicks. Talking about how much fun they've had and nasty pictures being sent to one another (I know this because she showed me and it was pretty gross stuff). Buffalo asked him about it (we forwarded some of the e-mails to her, she had a right to now!!) and he denied it, but the proof is in the pudding baby. It is, what it is.
When I saw her, the first thing she said to me was, 'You'll never guess what the pucking azzhole did Keem! I'm so pucking mad.' (she has a very heavy accent and it's hilarious when she cusses) Rose said that she'd been sooo sick about the entire situation that she'd been sick all the time. She even thought about killing herself. Now, is it just me or does there seem to be an abundance of people trying to commit suicide?? :( She said that she called the shop asking for my phone number and they wouldn't give it out to her (she is a little on the crazy side), so I told her I'd try to stop by her work and check up on her every now and then.
Rose tried to turn him in again, and again, and again. Problem, the Master Sgt. in the shop was a total LOSER and refused to write up paper work on him (the military has strict rules on cheating, you can lose pay, get kicked out, or even tossed in jail). So he got away with the behavior. The behavior had no consequences, so he kept doing it.
Turns out Buffalo got pg! Now, I was thinking about timing and it doesn't seem to add up. The baby was born in April. He got back from Iraq in Jan/February. It was a 7.5 month deployment. That would have made her pg for 10 - 11 months. So, I'm having a hard time believing it's his, but that's his problem. He seems content with the woman he is with now, but I hate to break it to her, once a cheater always a cheater. Now, I know I know... not always. But in this guy's case, yeah, always. He was cheating on her before he went to Iraq! Rose had hacked into his Myspace account and found e-mails to tons of chicks. Talking about how much fun they've had and nasty pictures being sent to one another (I know this because she showed me and it was pretty gross stuff). Buffalo asked him about it (we forwarded some of the e-mails to her, she had a right to now!!) and he denied it, but the proof is in the pudding baby. It is, what it is.
When I saw her, the first thing she said to me was, 'You'll never guess what the pucking azzhole did Keem! I'm so pucking mad.' (she has a very heavy accent and it's hilarious when she cusses) Rose said that she'd been sooo sick about the entire situation that she'd been sick all the time. She even thought about killing herself. Now, is it just me or does there seem to be an abundance of people trying to commit suicide?? :( She said that she called the shop asking for my phone number and they wouldn't give it out to her (she is a little on the crazy side), so I told her I'd try to stop by her work and check up on her every now and then.
I Tried to Kill Myself and I'm Gay
I said yesterday that I've had quite the week and I ran into a few people that I hadn't seen.
One person I haven't seen in ages (since before Benji was born) is Cat. Cat is married to Randy and they have a son named Aut (not really of course). Their son and K used to play together all the time. Randy went to Iraq last year. Cat is also active duty air force. While in Iraq Cat cheated on him (did I mention there's a lot of cheating in the military??). Cat was pretty open about it, didn't hide it. He spent the night, came over hen lots of people were at her house. It wasn't a secret. I was friends ith Rochelle, whose husband Bill worked ith Randy. Of course when Rochelle found out about it she told her husband. Who turned around and told Randy.
Randy turns it all around and says Cat can't hang out with any of us and it's all our fault (HELLO!! Idiot). She drops off the face of the earth and I don't hear from her. My old roomie Casey was around during all of this and then went home. A few months ago he moves back up here. I was down in Anch. with him back in May and Cat wanted to meet up with him. She shows up and doesn't really say too much to me. What do you say? I didn't know what to say, how she was feeling, ect. I didn't know if she hated me or was mad at me (even though she had no reason to be, but she just kind of disappeared, so who knows). We part ways and I don't hear from her again for a while.
Cat's PCS time is here and she's moving to Montana. She got in her car and headed out on Tuesday. She had a box of Casey's stuff in her garage from last year. He didn't want her to just disappear with it, so he asked her to drop it off at my house, which I had said was fine. I am up in the shower and my cousin, who was still visiting, come up and tells me that Cat is at the door and she wants to wait for me to get out of the shower. I say that's fine and to invite her in.
I dry off and go downstairs to find Cat sitting on my couch. It was weird at first and then things get back to normal. She said she was never mad at me or anything, but was going through some stuff.
Turns out her husband came home and things just got bad. She was REALLY unhappy. At one point she had tried to overdose on medication. She said she was really depressed. Then she went out to the bar one night with Casey back in May/June and things turned around for her.... so she says. She met a woman. Yes, I typed that correct.... a woman. She is now in a relationship with this woman. The other girl is moving out to Montana as soon as Cat gets there and they are going to raise the 3 kids (other woman has a son and daughter) together. The other woman was a military wife. She had a husband that was AD AF (actually worked with Cat). He was supposedly physically and emotionally abusive, so the woman left him. Then started to shaggin' with Cat.
We had a few laughs and joked about Cat being the 'man' in the relationship and who wears the strap on (yeah, Cat wears it). It was good to see her, but I'm not sure how happy she really is. She still seemed sad and lost. I guess only time will tell, but I hope for her son's sake, she doesn't attempt to commit suicide again.
One person I haven't seen in ages (since before Benji was born) is Cat. Cat is married to Randy and they have a son named Aut (not really of course). Their son and K used to play together all the time. Randy went to Iraq last year. Cat is also active duty air force. While in Iraq Cat cheated on him (did I mention there's a lot of cheating in the military??). Cat was pretty open about it, didn't hide it. He spent the night, came over hen lots of people were at her house. It wasn't a secret. I was friends ith Rochelle, whose husband Bill worked ith Randy. Of course when Rochelle found out about it she told her husband. Who turned around and told Randy.
Randy turns it all around and says Cat can't hang out with any of us and it's all our fault (HELLO!! Idiot). She drops off the face of the earth and I don't hear from her. My old roomie Casey was around during all of this and then went home. A few months ago he moves back up here. I was down in Anch. with him back in May and Cat wanted to meet up with him. She shows up and doesn't really say too much to me. What do you say? I didn't know what to say, how she was feeling, ect. I didn't know if she hated me or was mad at me (even though she had no reason to be, but she just kind of disappeared, so who knows). We part ways and I don't hear from her again for a while.
Cat's PCS time is here and she's moving to Montana. She got in her car and headed out on Tuesday. She had a box of Casey's stuff in her garage from last year. He didn't want her to just disappear with it, so he asked her to drop it off at my house, which I had said was fine. I am up in the shower and my cousin, who was still visiting, come up and tells me that Cat is at the door and she wants to wait for me to get out of the shower. I say that's fine and to invite her in.
I dry off and go downstairs to find Cat sitting on my couch. It was weird at first and then things get back to normal. She said she was never mad at me or anything, but was going through some stuff.
Turns out her husband came home and things just got bad. She was REALLY unhappy. At one point she had tried to overdose on medication. She said she was really depressed. Then she went out to the bar one night with Casey back in May/June and things turned around for her.... so she says. She met a woman. Yes, I typed that correct.... a woman. She is now in a relationship with this woman. The other girl is moving out to Montana as soon as Cat gets there and they are going to raise the 3 kids (other woman has a son and daughter) together. The other woman was a military wife. She had a husband that was AD AF (actually worked with Cat). He was supposedly physically and emotionally abusive, so the woman left him. Then started to shaggin' with Cat.
We had a few laughs and joked about Cat being the 'man' in the relationship and who wears the strap on (yeah, Cat wears it). It was good to see her, but I'm not sure how happy she really is. She still seemed sad and lost. I guess only time will tell, but I hope for her son's sake, she doesn't attempt to commit suicide again.
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
You're My Hero...... Kind of
Nothing says military neighborhood like a night in shining armor, coming to the rescue! Ok only kidding about the night in shining armour.
I haven't driven my husband's car in months. Mistake. Ladies, when your husband deploys, start his car often. I'm going to say once a week, probably isn't enough. You should probably drive it at least once a week, and still get oil changes!!
I hop in it and of course it doesn't start.
Problem number two, I don't know how to jump start a car. I understand you need to hook the cables up to the battery, but that's it. I couldn't tell you what color goes on what end. I would probably blow myself and a car, or two, up. So, being the intelligent woman I am, I go ring my neighbor's bell. Braun (enter night in shining armour) says he'll be right out to help. He comes out and I go into my garage to look for cables (we have two sets). I can't find either set in the mess that has become my garage since I moved in a few months ago (trust me, it's bad in there). Braun goes and knocks on Brian's door next door. He comes out to get his cables out of his truck. The first thing I say to him is 'Shut up.' He says 'Oh! The cables are for Kim? In that case, never mind!' and turns around. He was only kidding of course and let us use his cables. After a few minutes Braun gets the car to start up and tells me it will need to run for a bit.
I let it run and then drive it up the street to the BX (it's like a Walmart for military members, only they have better stuff). I shut it off and try to start it again (I want to make sure that it will start up again of course). It doesn't start. I call Braun to tell him I need yet another jump, that I'm stuck up at the BX with the kids. He says he'll be right down (thank you Kim S for donating your hubby!!).
I get some stuff I needed to make soup and call Braun up. He is at the store buying jumper cables. I tell him he's my hero and we get through check out. We get outside and try to figure out a way to get his truck in close enough to jump the car. As he pulls out his cables, I state the obvious.... some day he's going to need a jump and will pull out his cables. He is going to think of and thank the fact that his neighbor is really dumb and doesn't have (errr, can't find) her jumper cables and gets stuck at the store.
I haven't driven my husband's car in months. Mistake. Ladies, when your husband deploys, start his car often. I'm going to say once a week, probably isn't enough. You should probably drive it at least once a week, and still get oil changes!!
I hop in it and of course it doesn't start.
Problem number two, I don't know how to jump start a car. I understand you need to hook the cables up to the battery, but that's it. I couldn't tell you what color goes on what end. I would probably blow myself and a car, or two, up. So, being the intelligent woman I am, I go ring my neighbor's bell. Braun (enter night in shining armour) says he'll be right out to help. He comes out and I go into my garage to look for cables (we have two sets). I can't find either set in the mess that has become my garage since I moved in a few months ago (trust me, it's bad in there). Braun goes and knocks on Brian's door next door. He comes out to get his cables out of his truck. The first thing I say to him is 'Shut up.' He says 'Oh! The cables are for Kim? In that case, never mind!' and turns around. He was only kidding of course and let us use his cables. After a few minutes Braun gets the car to start up and tells me it will need to run for a bit.
I let it run and then drive it up the street to the BX (it's like a Walmart for military members, only they have better stuff). I shut it off and try to start it again (I want to make sure that it will start up again of course). It doesn't start. I call Braun to tell him I need yet another jump, that I'm stuck up at the BX with the kids. He says he'll be right down (thank you Kim S for donating your hubby!!).
I get some stuff I needed to make soup and call Braun up. He is at the store buying jumper cables. I tell him he's my hero and we get through check out. We get outside and try to figure out a way to get his truck in close enough to jump the car. As he pulls out his cables, I state the obvious.... some day he's going to need a jump and will pull out his cables. He is going to think of and thank the fact that his neighbor is really dumb and doesn't have (errr, can't find) her jumper cables and gets stuck at the store.
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